


Compounding Mistakes

by legendarybatlord



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 72,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25562563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendarybatlord/pseuds/legendarybatlord
Summary: When a college shuts down, forcing Dave and all of his friends to switch to the University Alternia, he's hoping he'll finally find someone he'd be willing to date. Not that he'd admit that to anyone out loud. He's also struggling to figure out who he is while meeting new people, and doesn't really like what he's finding out. Meanwhile, Karkat has a secret major that he fears his father and friends will dislike or ridicule him for, and he starts to get annoyed when this new student keeps showing up. Although, while he's outwardly pissed about the mistakes he keeps making, he feels conflicted about how he should really feel. Also, Sollux is designing a computer girlfriend in his CS class and starts to fall in love with her while another girl starts to fall for him in real life. Lots of other relationships may or may not happen along the way.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Dirk Strider, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Jake English/Tavros Nitram, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor/Feferi Peixes
Comments: 103
Kudos: 76





	1. New Frontier

Dave stared out the window of the plane and sighed. He’d been listening to the same song on repeat in one earbud while his older brother was jamming out to it on the other end for about an hour. It wasn’t that the song wasn’t good and didn’t deserve to be repeated, Dave just wanted to move on to something new. As always, however, Dirk was stuck on one thing and wouldn’t give up. Dave supposed it was kind of similar to how he treated relationships.

Blocking out the song as it played for the twentieth time, Dave looked around the rest of the plane to locate the other students from his old college. When it had shut down due to financial trouble, they had all been offered a discounted tuition price at the University Alternia, and most of them had taken the deal. He saw John watching one of his movies he was always raving about and was glad he wasn’t being forced to watch it through with him again. Rose was knitting and staring out the window longingly as if she thought it’d be better to jump than wait for the plane to land. Jade looked like she was talking to her plants that were in a bag in her lap, and he didn’t let his eyes linger there for long, because it seemed like a moment that might call for privacy. Jane was sitting still in her seat with a smile on her face, and Dave couldn’t tell if she was zoning out or legit sitting there staring at nothing for the entire ride. It creeped him out either way. Of course, Jake was sitting in front of Dave and his brother, and Dave felt bad for him, because Dirk kept interrupting his gaming session on a handheld device he’d never seen before to flirt with him. Dave was getting secondhand embarrassment at how bad he was at dropping a hint. Roxy wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so he assumed she was in the bathroom at the moment.

The plane ride would only last another half hour, Dave reminded himself, slumping down in his seat. He hoped there were better friends out there at the new university, because, while he loved his old friends, none of them felt like relationship material. He hadn’t really sat down to think through what he even wanted in a partner, but it just didn’t click in that way with any of his friends. Maybe it was because they’d all known each other for so long that they felt like one big family. He didn’t know. Slowly, he took the earbud out of his ear and leaned closer to the window to look out over the world below. Everything looked so small and insignificant. The landscape was shifting, when he caught glimpses of it through the clouds, from grassland to mountainous. Dave had to admit that the mountains looked really cool compared to what he was used to.

Finally, the plane landed and slowed to a halt on the runway. Dave was standing before the plane even stopped. He urged Dirk to grab his bags quickly so he could leave and get some fresh air, and luckily he listened to him and stepped out of the way. Dave barged through the plane like a man with a mission, his sunglasses glinting in the dim light. Once outside, he took a deep breath of the new air and felt himself begin to relax. The worst part of the trip was over. He grabbed his suitcases from the baggage claim and hailed a taxi before Dirk could arrive, because he decided he needed some time alone so he could think the situation through clearly. He loved his brother, but sometimes he just couldn’t think around him. He began to think while the taxi driver drove him towards the university. New places meant new opportunities and unknowns. He hoped his roommate would be chill, since he couldn’t afford off-campus housing.

Dave stepped out of the taxi and paid the driver with the rest of his cash. He stopped by some offices to get his ID and room key before lugging his stuff to the dorm. Food could wait. He groaned when he realized he had to carry everything up a flight of stairs. Then, he got to the room and knocked on the door in case his roommate was already there.

“Come in,” a voice called, and Dave was reluctant to find out who it belonged to. He opened the door and found himself staring at a guy plucking his eyebrows in the mirror.

“Uh, I just need to drop off my stuff, but I can leave if you’re having a moment,” Dave said. He’d never encountered this before.

“What?” He stopped and turned to look at him. “Oh, I thought you were my date,” he said.

“Oh, sorry?”

“I mean, you could be if you wanted to,” he added.

“No thanks. I’m not gay,” Dave said. He most certainly didn’t find this guy attractive, even if he was. He wasn’t sure yet if he was straight or not.

“Your loss,” he muttered, turning back to pluck a few more hairs. “I’m Eridan.”

“Dave. I’m your roommate.”

“Oh, I was wondering why you were here.”

“Do you actually have a date coming tonight?” Dave asked. He hadn’t realized he might have to deal with someone having sex in the room he was sharing.

“…No.”

There was an awkward silence. Dave sucked in a breath and held it while he set his stuff down as far away from the guy as he could. He only just then became aware of the fact that he was shirtless yet wearing a scarf. He also had a streak of dark purple in his otherwise black hair.

“I’m going to go get some food. I’ll see you later,” Dave said quickly and left, shutting the door behind him and releasing his breath on the other side. “What the fuck,” he murmured afterwards.

Dave really did go out to find food. He needed something to distract him from the thoughts of how he might not be able to sleep with such a strange man in his room with him. He would have rather roomed with his brother than this guy who had pretty much hit on him without even knowing who he was. Some people had no boundaries. Dave pushed up his sunglasses and entered the food court, flashing his card and feeling like a celebrity when they let him in without any questions. Inside, he was glad to find an empty table. He took off his red jacket and set it on his seat to save his spot before getting some food.

When Dave came back to sit down, Dirk was sitting in the bench seat across from him at the table. They maintained a tense silence for a while, which usually meant Dirk was pissed at him but not enough to actually bring it up.

“Sorry I left you at the airport,” Dave finally said.

“It’s cool. I got yelled at by dad, because he tracked your phone and saw that you weren’t with me.”

“I wish he’d stop doing that. We’re adults, now.”

“Yeah. Did you see your room yet?”

“My roommate is the worst,” Dave blurted.

“Oh really?” Dirk prompted, raising an eyebrow high above his shades.

“He just basically asked me out the moment I walked in the door,” Dave stated. “While being shirtless and plucking his eyebrows.”

“Hm, that’s a bit forward. Do you like him?”

“Hell no. I don’t even think I’m gay,” Dave objected, crossing his arms.

“But you haven’t dated anyone,” Dirk pointed out. “How do you know? Have you ever found anyone attractive before?”

Dave fell silent. He glanced around the room, trying to find some way to avoid the subject. In actuality, he hadn’t found anyone attractive enough to actually consider dating them before. He felt a little self-conscious about it, but he wasn’t about to admit that to anyone. While he was thinking about not thinking about it, he ironically found himself staring at one of the students. The student had wild black hair, a few piercings, a band t-shirt, and really tight pants. Dave tried not to look down, but his mind was screaming ‘damn’ so loud he feared he might actually say it out loud. Maybe he did find people attractive sometimes. He snapped his attention back to his brother, who was now looking over his shoulder to see where Dave was staring at so intensely.

“Who were you staring at?” Dirk finally asked, giving up.

“No one. I just spaced out.”

“Oh, okay. Anyway, if you ever need help asking someone out, or deciding who you should date, you know you can always talk to me, right?”

Despite knowing how famous Dirk was for not responding to messages or phone calls, Dave nodded. “Yeah, I will.”

Dirk smiled and ruffled Dave’s hair, earning a grumble, before leaving to settle into his own dorm. Dave took the opportunity of being alone to glance back over to where the person had been before but was disappointed to find him gone. More than anything, he wanted to meet him. Dave finished his food, feeling uninterested in the meal he had been so excited for a few minutes earlier, and put up his dishes. He walked towards the exit, subtly and nonchalantly searching for that guy. He finally found him sitting with someone who had blue and red glasses that reminded him of old 3D glasses and another student who had long ratty hair and could’ve been high or just really out of it. Dave decided it wasn’t worth trying to talk to him when he was with such company, because maybe they were just a bit intimidating.

“HEY! What are you staring at?” He shouted at Dave from a few feet away.

“Why are you shouting so loud?” Dave replied coolly.

“I’m partially deaf, asshole. Don’t be so fucking insensitive,” he shouted back.

“I’m blind,” Dave lied.

“Wait, really?” He stopped yelling for a moment, sounding concerned.

“Nope. Are you really deaf?”

“No,” he admitted. His friend with the glasses shook his head and looked away as if he wished he wasn’t associated with him.

“You motherfuckers seem like you’ll get along fine,” his other friend mused with a hiccup and fell out of his chair. No one seemed to react to the fact that he was on the floor, maybe unconscious.

“You never answered my question,” he finally snapped, looking back at Dave.

“I wasn’t staring,” Dave said.

“Bullshit. You were fully staring at me like I was the next fucking slice of pie.”

“You can’t prove anything.”

“Get out of my face. I can’t believe you don’t even have the balls to admit you were checking me out,” he said with a huff and crossed his arms.

“I’m not in your face, but okay. I was leaving anyway.” Dave found himself smiling despite how outwardly rude he was being, because something about it felt like an act.

“And I’m Karkat, just so you know. So you can stay the fuck away from me or whatever,” he added.

“I’m Dave. I’m sure I won’t be seeing you again,” he replied with a smirk that meant he probably would. He didn’t know why, but something about the interaction didn’t even bother him. He just found it oddly…adorable? That couldn’t be right. Dave walked away before the thought could become concrete in his mind that yes, he enjoyed looking at Karkat, even when he was yelling at him.

In his dorm, Dave was relieved to find that his roommate was out. He took the opportunity to change into his pajamas, feeling paranoid that Eridan could reappear at any moment. Then, he put his sheets on his bed and curled up with his back against the wall to text his friends and Dirk. No one responded right away, so he assumed they were all busy unpacking or whatnot. He wanted to just go to sleep before he started thinking about what his interaction with Karkat even was. He had just been yelled at by a complete stranger and found it endearing to some extent. But he definitely wasn’t gay.

Karkat gripped the handle of the car door tightly. Sollux was in one of his moods where he went twice the speed limit, even if that meant going about ninety miles per hour on a windy road.

“Damn, Sollux slow the hell down,” Karkat called over the music.

“Fiine,” he muttered, turning the music down and drawing out the ‘i’ as he usually did. He then put his foot on the gas and eased back down to a reasonable sixty miles per hour, which was still over the speed limit but not scary. Karkat regretted carpooling with him when he was in such a state.

“Did something happen in one of your classes today or something?”

“Nothiing much, I-I just hiit a roadblock,” he said vaguely, trying hard to hide his slight lisp even though he knew Karkat already knew he had it.

“Is it Aradia again?” Karkat asked.

“Yeah. I-I can’t really get the program riight.” He frowned.

“I’m sure you’ll figure that shit out.”

“Probably.”

They both fell silent for a while, letting the music fill the gap between them.

“Why diid you piick on the new boy?” Sollux finally asked.

“Maybe because he _was_ staring at me. And I don’t know, maybe because he was kind of…” Karkat trailed off.

“Don’t tell me you’re crushiing on hiim when you don’t know each other yet.”

“I’m not saying that,” Karkat raised his voice and crossed his arms. “I don’t get crushes on people anyway.”

“You’re such a chiild, sometimes,” Sollux struggled to say, blushing in embarrassment when his lisp got bad.

“Shut up. You’re the one designing a girlfriend in your CS class,” Karkat jabbed.

Sollux did indeed ‘shut up’ after that. He sometimes got sick of Karkat’s noisy attempts to hide his true emotions while still being so obvious. As one of his closest friends, he assumed he’d have to be his wingman later if anything did come out into the open. He pulled into Karkat’s driveway and dropped him off. Karkat grabbed the red jacket he’d found in the food court and got out of the car.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning,” Karkat stated through the window. It was a deal they had decided on a long time ago, but he still felt the need to promise he’d keep his end every time.

“No problem,” Sollux rolled down the window to say before speeding away.

Karkat unlocked the door and walked inside, sighing in relief when he found that his dad wasn’t home. He hung up the jacket, took a picture of it, and made a post on his social media that someone had lost it. Then, he took it with him to his room and shut the door. After changing into his pajamas, he played some videogames and procrastinated on his homework.

Dave was abruptly woken up.

“Wake up,” his roommate said, and Dave’s half-asleep mind thought he sounded a little like Dracula with his accent, so he jumped awake.

“What do you want?” Dave grumbled.

“Can you mute your phone? I’m trying to study, and it’s been going off a lot,” Eridan complained.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Dave muttered, going into his phone settings. He realized that all of his friends had replied except for Dirk, but that was to be expected. He started replying to all of them despite how late it was. Apparently, most of the rest of them got great roommates. Jake couldn’t remember the name of his, but he said that he was a nice chap who studied speech. Rose was rooming with a girl who snuck a cat to college with her. Roxy was sharing a room with a guy who was already passed out drunk when she got there. Jade was staying with a girl who she thought would get along well with Rose. John was lucky enough to end up with a single, and Jane could afford to get off-campus housing.

“Isn’t this your jacket?” Eridan interrupted Dave’s furious typing to show him a picture on his phone.

Dave looked up and squinted at the picture in the dark. He realized that he hadn’t brought it with him after getting food. “Shit. Yeah, that’s mine.”

“Karkat has it, if you want to text him,” Eridan said. “He runs a lost and found service because he doesn’t trust the college system to get personal belongings back to their owners or something.”

“Okay, I’ll text him,” Dave murmured, feeling dread and enthusiasm sharing the space in his chest. He held his breath while he typed out the message.

**Hey, it’s Dave. It looks like you have my jacket. What do I need to do to get it back?**

He didn’t really expect a response from the other student, but a text came in almost immediately.

**PLEAD FOR IT**

**Damn, you even text in all caps. Can I please get it back? I’ll fucking grovel, man. Like lick your boots or something. It’s kind of important to me**

**I WAS JOKING. Hell, it’s going to be cold tomorrow. Which dorm building are you in?**

**6**

**ERIDAN LIVES THERE. PLEASE TELL ME YOU AREN’T LIVING WITH ERIDAN**

**I am actually, why?**

**FUCK. I’LL MEET YOU OUTSIDE IN HALF AN HOUR**

Dave stared at his string of texts for a few minutes. It was strange to say the least. If he hadn’t left his jacket there, he might’ve thought Karkat took it on purpose just so they’d see each other again. According to his roommate, though, it was common for Karkat to do this. He continued to text his friends, trying not to focus on his upcoming meeting with the loudest person he’d ever met who somehow wouldn’t stay off of his mind. Thirty minutes passed with terrifying speed. He took a few breaths, telling himself he shouldn’t be so worked up over retrieving his jacket, and made his way down the stairs in his pajamas and sneakers since it was the warmest outfit he had.

When Dave opened the door, Karkat was there in an oversized hoodie and fuzzy pants that had cartoon crabs on them. He felt a little better about his own attire.

“I bet you did this on purpose, you creep,” Karkat accused, holding out the jacket.

“I didn’t know you take lost clothes until after I left it.”

“Whatever, just take it.”

“Thank you,” Dave said, finding it hard to say anything for some reason. He was usually so smooth with his words. He took the jacket carefully as if Karkat would snatch it back.

“You’re welcome,” he replied, lowering his voice a little.

“My mom gave me this jacket,” Dave felt it necessary to explain why it was so important. “It’s all I have from her.”

Karkat seemed to tense up. “Oh.”

“She’s not dead or anything,” he added quickly. “She just left my dad and didn’t come back to see me.”

Karkat blinked at him a few times. He wasn’t sure why Dave was telling him this, and neither was Dave. The air between them grew awkward. “Why do you wear the jacket, then? She sounds like kind of a bitch.”

Dave shrugged. “I don’t know. It was a cool jacket, and I guess I still think maybe she’d come see me if she could, like something’s stopping her. It’s probably a lie I tell myself.”

“Probably,” Karkat said, still at a loss for words. He didn’t have deep conversations very often, especially not with people he’d just met. “It’s kind of late, so I’m going to go home.”

“Okay, yeah. Thanks again for bringing me this before tomorrow.”

Karkat nodded as a way of saying ‘no problem’. “You have nice eyes,” he said in a normal tone, that was probably his way of muttering under his breath, before getting into the driver’s side of his car and leaving. Dave remembered he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses like usual and watched him drive away. His jacket smelled different somehow, and he tried not to think about if it smelled like Karkat or not.

Dave trudged up to his dorm and knocked before entering. Eridan looked up at him.

“What did you have to do to get it back?” He asked with a smirk.

“Nothing. I just talked to him for a bit,” Dave said honestly. “I wasn’t really expecting that.”

“He always makes me do something stupid to get my stuff back.” Eridan then went back to studying.

Dave set his jacket on his bedside table beside his sunglasses and curled up in his sheets to check his phone one last time. He didn’t have any texts, so he just saved Karkat’s number in his phone under ‘KrabbyBoi’ and plugged it in to charge while he finally slept.


	2. Computer Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Dave's first day at the new university, and he runs into Karkat a few times. Karkat isn't following the career path his father wants him to. It also turns out they have a science class together. Karkat makes up for the rocky beginning of his friendship with Dave. Sollux is excited for his new potential girlfriend. Dirk is Dave's adviser.

Karkat woke up and wondered if the previous night had actually happened. He checked his phone and found the new contact of ‘Dave (Fucking Hot Dumbass)’. It had. He had actually told Dave he had nice eyes. With a groan, Karkat halfheartedly punched his bed. He wanted to frantically text Dave and tell him he didn’t mean it, but that seemed like a worse option than just pretending it didn’t happen. Deciding to stick with that, Karkat got dressed and hopped in his car to pick up Sollux. His friend was waiting outside of his house when he arrived.

“Diid you fiind the owner of the jacket?” He asked when he climbed inside.

“It was Dave,” Karkat said.

Sollux actually laughed. “That’s too good,” he struggled to get out through his chuckles.

“I accidentally complimented him after having a really deep conversation,” Karkat shouted in a quick rush to get it off his chest.

After facepalming so hard that his glasses almost fell off, Sollux looked over at him. “You’re a fuckiing dumbass. There’s no way he’ll liike you now. You probably confused hiim more than anythiing.”

“I don’t even like the shithead,” Karkat said with a note of finality.

“Riight, I-I forgot you just compliiment people you don’t liike for no reason whatsoever,” Sollux said sarcastically.

Karkat was trying really hard not to road rage. The car in front of him was going really slowly, which wasn’t helping. He growled and tapped his left food impatiently. “I hope I don’t have any classes with him.”

“I-I’m sure you wiill. For better or worse.” When Karkat parked, Sollux thanked him and left to book it across campus to his programming class where Aradia was waiting for him in his assigned desktop. He hadn’t figured out a way to make the program work on his laptop yet, so he could only see her during class while he worked out her glitches.

Failing to calm himself down, Karkat got out and walked to his first class. None of his friends knew he was taking it, much less considering majoring in it, but it was his favorite class of the day. He knew it would help him get through his frustration and confusion with the Dave situation. As always, he didn’t run into anyone he knew on the way, but he still hunched his shoulders as if he was worried they’d see where he was headed. He slipped inside the building easily and sat down at the farthest end of the table from where the professor usually sat. It was the only class he’d ever been in where the teacher had everyone sit around one large table like they were having a big feast together. He was one of the last people to arrive. The professor showed up a few minutes after class was supposed to start.

“Okay, today we’re going to be thinking about mistakes. You can take the prompt however you like, but here are a few ideas: mistakes having unexpected positive outcomes, if things would truly be better without making mistakes, what possible mistakes someone could make that you haven’t, how your mistakes make you feel, or anything else that has to do with the topic.”

Karkat grinned and looked down at him empty page. He could easily work with the prompt, given his situation. Setting his pen on the page, he began to write a poem.

One mistake. Forgivable.

A second, not unthinkable.

Is it so wrong to want to make another?

Yet I feel shame when I picture the mistakes I could make.

Maybe even wanting this is a mistake.

The gravest mistake would be to admit any of it,

So I pretend I never made the first one to begin with.

He stared at the poem for a few minutes, feeling like it needed something more but not coming up with any ideas. Then, Karkat started jotting down random prose notes about mistakes and regrets that turned into him doodling. Class ended, and he tucked his work into his folder and shoved it into his bag so no one would see it in his other classes. He had to admit the rest of the day always felt like a letdown after his writing course. They were kind of interesting, but he still felt like he would rather not be there.

Dave wasn’t sure whether he should be excited or nervous for his first day, so he just didn’t feel anything. His Econ class was intriguing, but it went by so quickly. Then, he was in a CS course. He ended up sitting beside the student he’d seen with Karkat the day before, and just being close to someone who was friends with him made Dave feel weird and self-conscious. While he tried to pay attention to his screen, he kept glancing over at him. That was how he realized he was staring at a girl.

“What are you doing?” Dave finally asked, unable to escape his curiosity.

“Oh, thiis iis Aradiia,” he replied, extending his i sounds in a way that Dave thought snakes might extend their s noises. He also had a faint lisp. The image waved at Dave and smiled. He noticed that she had horns kind of like a sheep. “She’s my project.”

Dave half waved back, wondering what the hell was going on. “You’re making a girl?”

“Yeah, I-I have a friiend who saiid he’d make a body for her. Then, she miight be able to be my giirlfriiend. Iif she wants.”

On the screen, Aradia laughed silently, but it seemed good-natured from her expression. Dave thought it was kind of sad to see someone creating a girlfriend for himself, but he didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially since he seemed close with Karkat. He said, “I hope things work out for you.”

He blinked at Dave through his colored lenses. He hadn’t expected him to not ridicule him. “Thank you, you too.”

Dave tried to force himself not to blush, because his mind immediately jumped to how fine Karkat looked, in the middle of the conversation. He herded his thoughts desperately into a normal orderly line so that things like that didn’t pop back out of place. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“Sollux,” he muttered. Dave thought it must’ve sucked to struggle to pronounce his own name with his lisp.

“I’m Dave.”

“I-I know.” After that, he became fully focused on his ‘project’ and didn’t talk to Dave.

Meanwhile, Dave worked on coding a shitty webpage with animated comics. He was sure his bro would appreciate it when he showed him. After the class was over, Dave had some time to kill before his last course, so he wandered around the campus figuring out where everything was. On the way to the library to check out the music section, Dave ran into Jake, literally. The older boy was so preoccupied with whatever conversation he was having with the person behind him that he walked backwards right into Dave and almost fell over. He spun around quickly.

“Goodness, it’s only you, Dave. I thought I was about to get slugged. Please excuse me for not paying attention to where I was going, I was just having a nice chat with Tavvy here about motivational speaking.” He motioned towards the student he had been talking to, who appeared almost like a punk in a wheelchair who didn’t have the moxie to actually fill the part of a punk. He didn’t seem like he was going to ‘stick it to the man’ anytime soon, so Dave assumed he was either a poser or someone who just liked the aesthetic.

“Yeah, uhh, Jake, I thought I told you I didn’t really uhh like that nickname much,” the guy stammered out.

“Righto, sorry chap. This is Tavros. He’s my exquisite roommate who’s already taught me a ton.”

“Hi,” Dave said simply. He didn’t really want to continue this conversation, because it was making him secondhand embarrassed for everyone involved. “I’m Dave.”

“H-hey there Dave. Nice to umm meet you.”

“You too,” Dave said shortly. “I’ll leave you guys to keep talking about talking. See you later.” He practically ran away. Never in his life had he thought he’d meet someone who made interactions so awkward, and he couldn’t even pinpoint what about the boy bothered him so much. Maybe he was just so unsure of himself that it threw Dave off. At least Jake seemed to enjoy his company.

At the library, on the second floor dedicated to music, Dave found some records he wanted to listen to. He checked them out and was about to walk into the elevator, but then he noticed Karkat out of the corner of his eye. He was shocked he recognized him, even in his peripheral vision, but it was definitely him. Pausing, he glanced at him to see what he was doing. Karkat sensed he was being stared at again and looked up.

“Oh, it’s _you_. Should’ve known,” he said, obviously trying to keep his voice down in the library next to the recording studio and failing. Dave wondered if Karkat’s voice could be heard in the background of the song being recorded.

“Hi, Karkat,” Dave replied. “What’re you doing?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Okay, it just looked like you were picking out some Depeche Mode albums.”

Karkat clutched the CDs closer to his chest as if to hide them. “Got a problem with that?”

“Nope. It’s just not what I was expecting you to listen to,” Dave stated.

“I listen to a shit ton of music,” Karkat said defensively. “It’s important.”

“How so? I agree with you, but you make it sound like it has some kind of deeper purpose besides just being entertainment.”

“Music is able to rile people up and change society as we know it. At least, that’s what my dad believes. He wanted me to become a politician, but when I wasn’t interested, he tried to get me to become a musician, because he said that they can become almost as influential. It might be bullshit, but music is still a major part of my life.”

“You didn’t become a musician like he wanted?”

“Fuck no. I can’t play anything worth shit, and my voice isn’t exactly good for singing.”

“I make music,” Dave said.

“You do?” Karkat seemed really shocked to hear that.

“Yeah, mostly rapping. I’m pretty talented, but only my bro hears what I make. Sometimes my friends, too.”

“Interesting.” Karkat tried to make it look like he wasn’t seeking Dave’s eyes through the lenses of his glasses. He wished he could see them again.

“I need to go drop these off before my next class, but I’ll probably see you again,” Dave said, feeling like Karkat was staring at him in a different way now that he knew he made music.

“ _Great,_ ” Karkat said sarcastically, but it was half-hearted, “I’ll be fucking looking forward to spending more time with the dumbass rapper.” By now, some people were looking at them because Karkat was so loud. Maybe they thought a fight was about to break out.

“You’re so charming,” Dave swooned jokingly, landing on a shelf beside them. “Tell me more.”

“Go away. I’ve filled my quota of Dave time for now,” Karkat grumbled.

“Let me know when you want more,” Dave said with a wink that Karkat couldn’t see. He could see the smirk on his face, however. Then, he adjusted the records under his arm and walked into the elevator. Alone, he released a sigh. He didn’t understand why Karkat was so attractive, even when he was nothing but bitter the whole time. Dave began to think he was like a warhead: sour at first and hard to deal with but with an inner sweetness that came through eventually. He shook the thought away when it became derailed and turned into a fantasy of licking his neck to see what he tasted like.

Startled by his own thoughts, Dave leaned against the wall. Maybe he was just reading into his actions too much and Karkat really couldn’t stand him. He needed time to figure him out and to talk to Dirk. His thoughts lately had him worried he was close to a major epiphany about his identity, but he was afraid to voice it out loud in case it couldn’t be reversed. Straight men found other men attractive sometimes, right? He groaned and rubbed his eyes under his sunglasses. Then, when the doors opened, he walked to his dorm as quickly as he could.

Dave knocked and opened the door to find Dirk talking to Eridan. He hadn’t expected that at all.

“Bro, what’re you doing here?” He asked, setting the records on his bed.

“I just wanted to talk to you about your first day.”

“Why didn’t you just text me?”

Dirk shrugged. “How’s your day been?”

“It’s been fine. I have another class in half an hour.”

“Oh, I’m done for the day. I didn’t know what your schedule was like.”

“I need to talk to you later. Would you be okay with getting dinner together?” Dave asked. He didn’t feel comfortable discussing what he needed to with Eridan there.

Dirk raised his eyebrows. “Sure thing. Also, I think you misjudged your roommate. He’s actually pretty cool.” He glanced at Eridan and they shared a smile.

“What did he do to get you to say that?” Dave asked.

“Nothing. I just think we get each other. I’ve been talking to him about how Jake still won’t accept me, and he said he’s been in a similar situation before, so he was giving me advice. I was giving him advice on how to find someone.”

“As long as you don’t have sex in the room I’m sharing with him, I guess it’s fine if you guys become friends,” Dave said.

Eridan seemed to blush but hide it under a coughing fit, and Dirk just stared at Dave like he had been betrayed.

“I would never have sex in your living space,” he stated. “I’ll see you tonight.” He left the room.

“Your brother is very cool,” Eridan said once he had left. “Jake doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

“Whatever,” Dave muttered. He knew firsthand how much Dirk pestered Jake. Deciding to date him again would be Jake giving in at this point. He loved his brother, but he wished he would just move on.

Dave walked to his last class. It was a science class that included a few different types of science and was supposed to be the easiest course that fulfilled the requirement. He walked in through the door and sat down at one of the seats in the lecture-style room towards the back. While he was busy unpacking his supplies from his bag, he felt someone walked up behind him.

“Fuck, are you seriously going to sit there?” Someone asked, and Dave immediately knew it was Karkat. His neck hair started to prickle. He spun around in the chair.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re right next to my seat,” Karkat said, crossing his arms.

“Then we can be partners on projects and stuff,” Dave said, his smirk resurfacing.

Karkat sat next to him, seeming to deflate with a sigh of annoyance. “I’m not doing all the work, though, so don’t expect me to carry this team.”

“You could’ve just moved to a different spot.,” Dave said with a chuckle. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”

He shrugged and rolled his eyes. “It’s too fucking late. If I stand up now, I’ll look like an idiot.”

“I think you just wanted to spend more time together,” Dave mused.

Karkat loudly grumbled, but no actual words came out. For the rest of class, he acted pretty calm, though. It didn’t seem to bother him much that he was sitting so close to Dave or working with him occasionally. Dave wondered why it bothered him so much if it didn’t even both Karkat. He really needed to talk things through with Dirk. Karkat was also a better student than Dave had expected. When he pulled out his binder, Dave caught a glimpse of a sheet of paper that had grades on it. There was maybe one grade below an A on there. He tried not to be so surprised or admire the boy sitting next to him.

Finally, the class was over. Dave grabbed his stuff, ready to get out of Karkat’s hair as quickly as he could, but Karkat actually stopped him.

“Do you want to get a drink with me? There’s a smoothie bar on campus that I usually go to after classes are over,” Karkat said in almost a normal, reasonable tone. Dave couldn’t help but notice that he looked really good in his grey sweater. “So we can discuss our next assignment,” he added, as if it was the only reason he was offering.

“Okay,” Dave found himself saying. He cursed himself silently afterwards, because the longer he put off talking to his brother, the longer he’d be struggling to figure out what the hell was going on. Maybe being confused for a little longer wouldn’t be so bad, he reasoned as he followed Karkat out of the room.

While they walked, Karkat started to talk. “I changed my mind,” he started. “I think I want to be friends, if you’re okay with that. I know it makes me look really awful, but you’re actually way more decent than I initially thought. Still annoying as hell, but cool.”

“Ditto,” Dave said. “I think I actually sort of enjoy your company, even though it started with you yelling at me.”

“Actually, I think it started with you staring at me like a fucking perv, but that’s fine,” Karkat said in a huff.

“Sorry.”

After breaking the ice, they had a fairly normal conversation, and Dave actually managed to make Karkat laugh. Not like a ‘wow you’re so stupid’ type of laugh, a genuine outburst of laughter that turned a few heads. He couldn’t even remember what he’d said that was so funny, it was just one of those times where his mouth took over and his brain wasn’t exactly fast enough to control it. He noticed how Karkat’s eyes were sparkling because they were watery from laughing so hard. It was a really gay thought that he had to shut down.

When they ordered their smoothies, it turned out that they liked the same flavor combination of blueberries, mango, and banana. Neither mentioned this. They sipped their smoothies and had a nice time together. Then, Sollux walked in and ordered a blueberry and strawberry smoothie before sitting with them. He seemed to be in a cheery mood as well.

“Equiius started buiildiing her skeleton today,” he announced. “I-I just came back from seeiing iit. She’s goiing to be great.”

“It’s kind of morally fucked up to create your own girlfriend, isn’t it?” Karkat finally said. He had been trying to hold it in for the entirety of the past month how he felt about it, but it had to be said. “What if she doesn’t even like you?”

“I-I’ll giive her the choiice.”

“But can’t you program her to say yes?”

“I-I’m stiickiing more wiith AI-I. She’ll have opiiniions and stuff.”

“I don’t really know how that works, but it still sounds shitty. Dave, aren’t you into computer stuff? What do you think?” Karkat asked.

Dave didn’t know how to respond. He was alright with computers, and he did think it was weird what Sollux was doing, but he also didn’t want to ruin his standing with him. He also wanted Karkat to like his answer. It was a predicament. “I think that as long as you don’t tell her you created her to be your girlfriend, you aren’t doing anything too wrong. But it is still a messed-up mindset to have going into the project.”

This answer seemed to satisfy both of them. They were quiet for a few seconds as it sunk in. Dave checked the time. He sucked air in through his teeth.

“Do you have somewhere you have to be?” Sollux asked.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to meet my bro for dinner.”

“See you later, shithead.”

“In a while, crab boy,” Dave replied and left before he could retaliate.

Dave found his brother already half done with his plate. He grabbed a few things quickly and sat down across from him.

“So what’s up?” Dirk asked. “Does this have to do with that guy in the band t from yesterday?”

“No,” Dave said rapidly. “I mean, kind of. You saw me staring at him?”

“Yep.”

“Damn. Yeah, it’s about that. I feel really weird, and I’m beginning to think I might be…I don’t know, gay?” He sighed.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“What?” Dave looked up from staring a hole into his untouched food.

Dirk pointed at him with his fork. “I’d be more shocked if you came out and said you were straight. Have you seen our family?”

“So you really think I am?”

“Yeah, I was wondering when you’d realize it. Do you want a coming out party?” Dirk asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hell no.”

“Are you going to ask that boy out?”

“Fuck no. I only just met him, and we’re only just now cool as friends. It still feels awkward when his closer friend hangs out with us, too.”

“So it’s going to be a slow burn,” Dirk stated.

“It’s not like I’m desperately in love with him or anything. It won’t be unbearable to not date him. I don’t even really know what I’m missing out on, because I’ve never been on a date. What’s a little bit longer?”

Dirk shrugged. “Suit yourself.”


	3. Roosevelt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave deals with Dirk's emotional issues at 2 am and accidentally starts a romantic snowball that he can't stop. Then, he wakes up and deals with Jade's crisis. Finally, after snapping at Eridan, Dave gets to spend some time with Karkat that helps him feel happy and not so drained. Sollux is also an ice cream snob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to a friend of mine who recently found this fanfic. I included a subtle inside joke just for you! This might as well be called 'how many hours of sleep is Dave going to lose' at this point. I hope you enjoy this slightly longer chapter!

On the drive home, Sollux was unusually happy. Even though they’d fought about the implications of dating someone you created, Karkat was glad his friend was finally in a better mood than he’d been in since things started to get hectic in his life. He even let Karkat listen to Depeche Mode at full volume and shout the lyrics to John the Revelator without seeming to judge him. When it was time for Sollux to get out of the car, he paused to show Karkat pictures of the progress on Aradia’s body so far.

“Wow, she’s going to be tall,” he said over the music, struggling not to add an insult such as ‘is Equius modeling her after a fucking giraffe or something’.

“I-I know!! She’s goiing to be perfect.” Sollux gushed.

“If you don’t stop gushing, I’m going to start ranting about whoever I find hot as hell,” Karkat threatened loudly.

Sollux was sure his family could hear his friend inside. “Oh, you mean Dave?” He asked.

Surprisingly, Karkat hesitated for a moment too long before he had a comeback. “Why the fuck do you think I have a crush on Dave? Did you see the chemistry between us? It’d make a damn bomb.”

“Bombs bang,” Sollux said, raising his eyebrows.

“That was a really stupid thing to say, but I’ll pretend you aren’t the worst at this because we’re bros. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye!!”

Karkat rolled his eyes and rolled up his windows simultaneously so he could loudly mutter, “Bombs bang. Great, now I can’t get the image of naked fucking Dave out of my head. Maybe I actually wanted to get some sleep tonight.” He drove away from Sollux’s house.

Dave was going to get as much sleep as he could to make up for the lack the night before. Eridan was out somewhere, so he wasn’t paranoid about being woken up again. He was just relaxed and having a dream that was pretty damn great when his phone started going off so much he thought it was an alarm and bolted upright before he realized it was just a stream of texts from Dirk.

**It’s over**

**Everything’s over**

**Fml**

**I can’t believe this**

**I really need someone to talk to rn**

**Please be awake**

Dave wiped his eyes and tried to focus on the blurry screen enough to see what time it was.

**What happened at 2 am?**

When Dirk was typing for a while, Dave groaned internally. He wasn’t in the mood for a monologue about how his nonexistent love life was crashing and burning.

**I asked Jake out, and he legit said ‘you have competition’ and sent a picture of his sleeping roommate**

**Then he said he reminded him of Roosevelt**

**How am I supposed to compete with punk ass Roosevelt?**

**I’m screwed**

Dave wasn’t sure he fully understood the line of reasoning. He thought it was kind of funny that Jake automatically thought Tavros was like Roosevelt, but beyond that, it didn’t seem like anything more than a joke.

**Why does it matter that he’s like Roosevelt?** Dave finally asked.

**Because! Imagine how you would feel if you met someone near your age who reminded you of Obama. Roosevelt is Jake’s Obama. If anyone is compared to Roosevelt, he’s going to obsess over them**

**Plus, his roommate was shirtless in the picture. What if Jake was more forward than usual and already did it?**

Dave facepalmed. **Dude, calm down. Plenty of people sleep shirtless every night. Eridan was shirtless the moment I walked in through the door, and I would never in a million years do anything with him. I don’t even think I’d be his friend**

**Hey, that’s different. He’s Eridan. Don’t be so harsh on the guy. He’s actually an interesting person once you get to know him**

**You talked to him once! I have to practically live with him. If you think he’s so great, why don’t you date him or something**

Dave wasn’t serious about that. It was more like the equivalent of saying someone should get married if they talk about someone else too much. But when Dirk didn’t respond at first, he was worried he was actually considering it.

**Do you think we’d make a good couple?**

**You’d be a match made in hell. I wouldn’t stop you from trying it, but I don’t know if it would be a good idea to go to Eridan as a rebound. Neither of us know him that well, but Karkat seems to avoid him for some reason**

**I don’t think it means much if your loud boyfriend doesn’t like him. I don’t think he’s the type of guy who goes out of his way to understand people**

**You don’t know anything about Karkat, so stop making assumptions. And, he’s not my boyfriend. I thought we already talked about how my life is going to become a slow burn romance story**

**You don’t really know him that well yet, either. I don’t think that’s necessary for starting to like someone. I think I’m going to ask Eridan out. We’re two lonely guys who’ve had our hearts broken one too many times, so it makes sense for us to get together**

Out of annoyance, Dave stopped responding to him. He couldn’t believe Dirk took his joke as actual advice and then wouldn’t listen to what he actually had to tell him. Someone had to know that he just started the worst mess ever, but he didn’t know who to tell. Just because he was the only person who would understand the full horror of the situation, he decided to tell Karkat. It didn’t have to do with wanting to talk to him again at all.

**Karkat, I think I just made a really grave mistake, and I need to tell someone about it**

**I APPRECIATE THAT I’M YOUR THERAPIST LIFE COACH SUDDENLY, BUT HAVE YOU CHECKED THE FUCKING TIME. DO YOU OWN A CLOCK? OR IS YOUR PHONE JUST BLANK WHERE IT NORMALLY HAS THE TIME? LET ME INFORM YOU, IT IS 3 O-FUCKING-CLOCK IN THE MORNING**

**Yes, I know. I feel your pain, really. I just had the same thing happen where someone texted me early in the morning and I couldn’t sleep afterwards. It’s a vicious cycle. But anyway, I accidentally just convinced my older brother to ask Eridan out. That’s all I needed to tell you, so I can leave you alone now**

**WAIT A MOMENT.**

**YOU DID WHAT?!**

**WHY AND HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?**

**DON’T JUST LEAVE ME HERE AFTER DROPPING THAT BOMB, SHITBRAIN**

**I definitely think I count as a shitbrain right now. Thank you. I jokingly said he should date him because he was defending him so much, and then he actually decided it was a good idea and wouldn’t listen when I told him it really wasn’t**

**WHAT’S YOUR BROTHER EVEN LIKE?**

**Umm, he’s cool. But obsessive. He’s been trying to date Jake since middle school and only just gave up half an hour ago to move on to Eridan. He likes some of the same stuff I do, but also weirder stuff like puppets and theater and drama**

**MAYBE IT’LL ACTUALLY WORK OUT. AT LEAST IT’LL KEEP ERIDAN FROM BEING QUITE AS MUCH OF A DOUCHE AS NORMAL. IF HE ASKS ME OR ANYONE I KNOW OUT ONE MORE TIME, I’M DIGGING A HOLE IN MY YARD AND NEVER COMING BACK**

**That would be very unfortunate. Thanks for reassuring me some that it might not be the biggest mistake of my life**

**OH, YOU’VE MADE WORSE MISTAKES, MR. STARE. DON’T THINK I FORGOT JUST BECAUSE WE GOT SMOOTHIES**

**Speaking of which, can I take you to get ice cream tomorrow to pay you back for that?**

**WHERE?**

**The place on the highway**

**OH MY FUCKING GOD YES. YOU’LL GET TO EXPERIENCE SOLLUX THE ICE CREAM SNOB. I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT TO SEE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, EXCEPT THAT I CAN’T BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN SUNGLASSES**

**You must really like my eyes. You’ve brought up how annoyed you are that I wear sunglasses about four times since we started talking**

**I JUST DON’T FUCKING LIKE IT WHEN I CAN’T TELL WHAT SOMEONE’S FEELING**

**Aww, you want to know my feelings?**

**SHUT UP, I’M GOING TO SLEEP. BYE**

**WAIT, WHAT TIME?**

**How about three?**

**FINE, SEE YOU THEN**

The next day, Dave woke up late in the afternoon to find Eridan sleeping peacefully across the room. He internally groaned in disgust while wondering when he’d shown up. An urge gripped him, and he wanted to do something really mean just to spite him, especially if he was going to start dating his brother. He decided it ultimately wasn’t worth it, though, and got dressed, checking periodically to make sure his roommate didn’t watch him. Then, as he pulled on his jacket, his phone started going off. He picked it up quickly and muted it so it didn’t wake Eridan. Dave assumed he was even more annoying in the morning, especially if he was hungover or something. It turned out to be Jade texting him frantically.

**Dave… T.T I need help. I’m so sad**

**Damn, what happened?**

**My plants. Kanaya killed them :( she kept shutting the blinds while I wasn’t here to do her stupid photography. Like who even needs to make a dorm into a dark room? Just get a digital camera. Wahhh. I came back from an overnight cabin trip with the outdoors club and they were all dead when I came home this morning. There’s nothing I can do**

**Do you want me to help you look for new plants? I think there’s a floral shop nearby**

**Dave! What’s wrong with you? You’re so insensitive. We need to bury these poor souls who were snuffed out too early. The good die young T.T**

**Uh, sure. Do you have a shovel, or are we going to use our hands or something?**

**We can use our hands. Can you come over immediately? Looking at them for much longer is going to make me really upset. I’m in dorm building 3**

**I guess**

Dave checked the time. It was already noon. He hoped this stupid burial wouldn’t turn into a full impromptu funeral with eulogies or anything, because then it could run into his plans with Karkat, and it wasn’t like he could explain the situation. Only people who knew Jade would understand that this kind of overdramatic reaction was normal. He made the short trek to Jade’s dorm complex and waited outside with his hands in his pockets, getting ready to pretend he was really sorrowful for the loss of some plants Jade got for free at a going away event.

Jade made her entrance, holding the limp bodies of her plants in her palms as if they were a beautiful woman in white drapes who had died beautiful. He might’ve laughed if he didn’t know how that would end. She looked up at him, sniffling and letting a few more tears fall down her face.

“Where should we do this?” He asked.

“Here is fine. They’ll be able to…sniff…rest near the roots of their elders,” she sobbed, making her shoulders shake.

Dave squatted down near the ground and started shoveling dirt with his hands while she stood there holding the plants. He hoped no one could see them, because now that he was actually doing this, it was way more embarrassing than the last time. At least they’d been in her backyard then and not in a public park. When he thought the hole was more than deep enough, he turned to look up at her. She nodded, and her chin quivered a little with a suppressed sob. He watched her place the plant carcasses in the shallow hole without any emotion and was glad his sunglasses hid his indifference. They made him always seem indifferent, so all he had to do was raise and scrunch his eyebrows a little to make him seem more sympathetic to the situation. Jade was his good friend, but sometimes she was absolutely ridiculous, especially if it involved her precious plants. He wouldn’t be surprised if she forever held a grudge against her roommate for this accident.

After scooping the dirt back over the plants, she hugged him tightly and unexpectedly, leaving him awkwardly hanging his arms at his sides, and cried on his shoulder. This was going too far.

“Jade,” he started.

“Thank you so much.” Her voice was muffled by his jacket.

“I need to go,” he finally said. “I’m supposed to go get ice cream with someone.”

She gripped him tighter. “Is it a date?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Just hanging out. But you probably wouldn’t like the guy I’m going to be with.”

“I need to spend the proper amount of time grieving before eating anything sweet, anyway,” she said and sniffled. Jade released Dave to wipe her eyes and smile at him sadly.

“Right,” he said awkwardly. “I’ll see you later. Hang in there, and try not to hate your roommate.”

“I’m already debating moving out into an off-campus apartment,” she said. “I can’t stand being around her knowing she murdered them.”

“How are you going to afford that?”

“I’ll get a part-time job. Maybe my grandpa will help me.”

“I think you should get past this situation before you consider doing something so drastic,” Dave said carefully.

Jade frowned and walked back into her dorm building. Dave sighed and relaxed once she was gone. It was such a draining experience every time. He walked back to his dorm and washed his hands really well in the shared bathroom in the hall. Then, he decided to completely change his outfit, except for the jacket because it was the only one he had. He made sure there wasn’t any dirt on it before putting it back on.

“Are you going on a date or something?” Eridan asked, rubbing his eyes and putting his glasses on.

Dave jumped, because he hadn’t noticed his roommate was sitting up on his bed. “No, I’m just going to go get ice cream.”

“You’re fretting over your hair so much that I thought you were seeing someone special.”

“You of all people shouldn’t be criticizing how much attention I’m paying to my appearance,” Dave snapped back, putting that one annoying strand back into place.

“Are you going to thank Karkat for bringing your jacket to you in the middle of the night? He’d probably appreciate that,” Eridan said with a smirk.

“Why do you keep hinting that I’m giving him favors? It’s really starting to fucking weird me out,” Dave said, turning to look at him directly instead of his reflection in the mirror. “Do you have some twisted fanfic about us that you drool over while I’m away?”

“Must be a touchy subject. You’d almost think I was closer to the truth than you want me to think.”

“Shut up! Unless you’re going to talk about something besides romance and Karkat, I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t need your advice, and I don’t need you implying that I’m doing sexual shit with anyone out of gratitude. I’ve only been awake for about an hour, and it’s already been a long day. I do not need to be having this conversation with you. I’m sick of everyone trying to guess what I’m going to do or how I’m feeling. If I don’t even know, don’t you dare pretend you do.”

Eridan held his head when Dave exploded on him like that. He must’ve really had a hangover from the night before, which meant he had probably been out partying and hoping to find someone. “Maybe you need to spend less time with him before you start acting like him. You’re pretty damn close already.” He collapsed back on his bed and got a text. Dave watched his hands fly to his phone and remembered that Dirk was probably going to ask him out. It just made him more annoyed.

“No way,” he muttered, and his eyes widened. “No way!”

Dave left the room before Eridan could start screaming like a little girl, because he knew from his reaction that things had probably been set in motion. He didn’t want to be there while Eridan became overly excited to be dating someone related to him. His life had a one-way ticket to being a complete mess. The only thing that could make him feel better was some quality time with Karkat, so he decided to start walking towards the ice cream parlor. He was early, but anything was better than being around Eridan another moment. While he was walking, he heard someone running up behind him.

“Damnit Dave! Slow the fuck down,” Karkat shouted. He started panting and wheezing for air.

Dave spun around to see him and almost got trampled by the other boy. “You’re early,” he said.

“And you’re not?” Karkat shot back. Then, he looked hesitant.

“What are you holding?” Dave asked curiously, making it obvious he was looking at the bag in his hand.

“Oh, it’s a bag Dave. I thought you’d be able to at least recognize that, dumbass.”

“Okay, smartass, what’s in the bag?” Dave raised his eyebrows and tried not to smirk too hard.

“It feels really stupid now that I’m actually here, but it’s supposed to be a gift for you.”

“Really? Now I have to know what it is.” He made to grab the bag out of his hand. Although Karkat frantically tried to lift it out of reach, Dave reached it in time and snatched it away. “Are you for real?” He asked when he saw what it was.

“Don’t read into it or anything, I just didn’t want you to have to keep wearing a jacket from someone who’s never even been there for you. It’s not like I spent any money on it or anything, it’s just the equivalent of a handed down piece of shit from my teenage years that will keep you warm.”

“This was your jacket?” Dave asked.

“Yeah,” Karkat said, unable to read Dave’s reaction.

“I didn’t know you were into zodiacs and stuff,” he said with a hint of a smile. “I also didn’t know you were a cancer.”

“I used to be really stupidly obsessed with it, so my dad got me a patch to put on my jacket to tell everyone what zodiac I was. It’s the only red jacket I have, so I thought it might not clash with the style you already have.”

“I love it so much. I can’t believe you actually gave me your jacket,” Dave said.

“Don’t get all fucking sentimental or I’ll take it back right now. It’s just part of my duty as the lost and found officer.”

Dave took off his jacket and slipped on Karkat’s. He couldn’t believe this was happening, even if it was in a friendly context and not a romantic one. The fact that it was slightly big on him made it even more real. It had actually been Karkat’s. He had possession of one of his jackets.

“I’m sorry, this is so awkward and idiotic.” Karkat ran his hands through his hair nervously. “It doesn’t even fit right. I’m blaming you for making me lose so much fucking sleep. I’m not thinking straight today.”

“Karkat, chill out. It’s great. I’m going to wear this from now on, because it is actually from someone who cares,” Dave reassured him with a small smile.

Karkat’s heart skipped a beat. He stared at Dave for a second, trying to work out if he had actually just said that or if he had passed out and started having a dream. He didn’t even mention how sentimental that statement had been, because his brain felt like it was sinking like the Titanic after hitting an iceberg. “Let’s go get some ice cream so that Sollux can judge us for our terrible tastes,” he finally said.

Dave nodded. He stuffed his old jacket into the bag and carried it towards the entrance of the building. Karkat pushed the door open and was relieved to find his friend didn’t have the day off. It was priceless trying to order ice cream from him, and he wanted someone else to agree with him on it.

“Oh, hello,” Sollux said. “What would you liike?”

“What flavors do you have?” Dave asked, trying to peer into the cooler to check the different tubs.

“Cotton candy,” Sollux said. Dave expected him to list off flavors, because there were at least twenty different tubs in there, but he stopped after that one.

“Doesn’t your boss get mad at you when you only offer one flavor?” Karkat asked.

“I-I conviinced her that iit’s the only flavor kiids liike,” he said with a triumphant smile.

“I’d like one scoop of pistachio with a scoop of cherry swirl and nuts on top,” Karkat ordered. He already knew the flavors without Sollux saying them.

“That’s extra gay, you know. Iit’s also the worst combo of two flavors I-I’ve ever heard.”

“Can I get rainbow?” Dave asked.

Sollux paused for a moment as if questioning if Dave had really asked that. “I-I’ve changed my miind Karkat. You need to stop seeiing this iimbeciile riight now. I-I cannot beliieve you’d waste tiime on someone who orders raiinbow. That iis the siingle most terriible flavor.”

“I was kidding,” Dave said. “I was trying to be more gay than Karkat.”

Sollux snorted and started laughing. “Good luck wiith that. He’s pretty damn gay.”

“Shut up! We’re ordering ice cream for fuck’s sake. Just pick a flavor so we can sit down.”

Dave smiled. “I’ll have chocolate and cherry.”

“I-I suppose that’s a decent choiice. Better than raiinbow.” Sollux got to work getting their bowls ready.


	4. Honk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave finds out about some of Karkat's friends and annoyances while eating ice cream together. Then, he asks a question that is probably worse than the question he's trying not to ask and ends up getting the answer to it anyway.

When Karkat and Dave finally sat down with something close to what they ordered but made ‘better’ by Sollux, they were about to have a conversation about something other than the elephant in the room that was Karkat’s mentioned sexuality. Dave really wanted to ask if Karkat was really ‘pretty damn gay’ if only to know that him coming out wouldn’t be much of a big deal. He kept shifting in his seat awkwardly trying to find a topic at first, but then he was saved by the bell. Or more precisely the honk.

Karkat visibly hunched over in his chair when he heard it and his eyebrows knitted together. “Oh no, not this douche. I thought today was my day off from fucking babysitting.” He turned to look the guy in the face as he said the last word.

Dave wasn’t sure how Karkat got away talking like that to this guy. He looked older than everyone else in the room, dangerous, and who knew how high. Then again, he was also eating cotton candy ice cream as if it was the best thing in the world and getting it all over the place. He wasn’t sure where the honk had come from until he noticed a smartphone that looked so expensive he was sure he’d never even heard of it before. It was just that out of his league financially. A cacophony of honks came from the phone, and he realized it was his notification noise. Anyone with that sound as a notification couldn’t be trusted, he decided. While he was busy evaluating him, Dave realized he didn’t say a word. He just stared at them dreamily before slowly checking his phone and getting ice cream on its surface that may or may not have been more expensive than Dave’s first car.

“Who is he? I thought he was your friend,” Dave finally said, trying to pry his eyes from the disgusting sight behind Karkat.

“That’s Gamzee,” Karkat said with a sigh. “He’s been in college a total of six years and still doesn’t know what his major is. His parents have a shitload of money, so they just keep paying his tuition to keep him off the fucking streets. So instead of being a druggy in real life, he’s a hardcore party guy. Let’s just say he considers college life a legitimate path in life, and he thinks it’s really smart that he realized that, too.”

“Huh. He did say you and me get along well when we first met, so maybe he hasn’t completely lost sight of reality.”

Karkat snorted. “All I have to say about it is we better fucking hurry before he snaps out of whatever daze he’s in and expects to tag along. There’s no way that’s happening today. I’m not dragging him to his dorm again because he passed out in public.”

“Oh shit. I just realized something. I think he’s my friend’s roommate. She said he was passed out in the room when she got there. You brought him all the way there after I talked to you?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t just leave him on the floor in the food court like a dead animal.”

They finished their ice cream and left while Gamzee scrolled lazily through his phone with his sticky hands. Dave involuntarily shivered at the thought of using a phone with who knows what all over it. Finally, he thought of a suitable topic to bring up as they left the ice cream shop.

“Is Sollux your only actual friend?” He asked. “Besides kind of me now.”

“No, I have more than one fucking friend Dave. Trust me, I’m a social butterfly. Everyone just loves me to death,” he said sarcastically. “But I do have more than one friend. I have…” He genuinely thought hard about it for a moment. “Nepeta isn’t too bad. We talk sometimes about relationships and stuff. She named her cat after me. Feferi is decent. Tavros has some issues, but I can stand talking to him in small doses. Kanaya is pretty dry most of the time, but if I want to talk about a boring ass subject, she’s the person I’ll go to. Vriska’s fucking crazy, but she can be cool sometimes if you catch her on a good day. I try to avoid pretty much everyone else for some reason or another. I’m sure if we run into any of them you’ll know why. You already know part of why Eridan is the absolute worst, and Gamzee is pretty obvious once you just sit in his presence for more than a minute.”

“You don’t have to answer this, but do you want to be more than friends with any of them?”

“Hell no. I’ve known most of them so long that I know I’d never want that. Actually, one of the ones I don’t talk to is because we’re exes. Dating childhood friends always ends in a shitshow.”

Dave frowned, because the conversation was coming dangerously close to the question he originally wanted to ask, but he felt like asking it would be as bad as confessing something about himself. Karkat seemed to feel that he was struggling. He stopped walking. They had made it to one of the parks on the way back to campus.

“What?” He asked.

Being stared at by Karkat made him more hesitant to ask anything, so he gripped the bag that now had his jacket in it tighter. He genuinely meant to ask if he was gay, but his brain was in panic mode, so instead of asking about his sexuality, it came out a little bit different. “Are you homophobic?”

Karkat raised an eyebrow. “Why the fuck would you think that? Wouldn’t that have come up by now, since your brother is dating your male roommate? Plus, believe it or not, I’m actually gay.”

That reassured Dave while also making him more frantic. Having Karkat angrily yell that he was gay was the last thing he had expected when he woke up that morning. “Sorry, that question came out wrong. Sometimes my brain doesn’t coordinate with my mouth the best. Usually I just don’t have a filter, but this time it got twisted. I meant to ask if you were actually gay like Sollux said or if it was a joke.”

“Yeah, asking if someone is homophobic is pretty damn far from asking if they’re gay. I can easily ask, ‘hey Dave, are you gay?’ and you’ll respond with ‘yes, Karkat, thank you for finally giving me the opportunity to come out of the fucking closet, it’s been so dark and lonely in here all these years pretending to be interested in women’.”

“I don’t even know if that’s a jab or you stating the truth,” Dave said. “But I might as well tell you since you told me. I think I might be gay, but I only thought of it after coming here. I’ve never dated anyone, so it’s hard for me to know.”

“Hopefully we won’t end up liking the same person,” Karkat said, but he didn’t sound like he was worried about it.

“Yeah,” Dave agreed with the same lack of worry.

Karkat fake coughed to check the time on a childish looking watch. “Fuck, look at the time. You can borrow my watch if you need it. I still doubt you have a way to tell time.” He showed Dave his wrist to show that it was five. “I have to go study with Nepeta. We’ll probably end up talking more about what stupid ship she’s obsessing over than the test, but I promised I’d visit her.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“See you.” Karkat went a different direction towards one of the other dorm buildings, leaving Dave to walk alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short. Today was kind of tiring, so it was hard to find time. I'm going to start introducing more of the characters, if you haven't guessed by now, so the different dynamics are going to get interesting.


	5. What's in a Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta renames her cat so it doesn't confuse people anymore, but the name she chooses is probably worse. She also decides that it's time to pull out her checklist for some recent developments.

Dave was deep in thought on his way to his dorm, partially because he was worried he’d walk in to find Eridan texting his brother and screaming like he’d been when he’d left him. He wasn’t sure he could handle that, no matter how good of a mood he was in. He snuggled into Karkat’s jacket for warmth and noticed that it smelled like him even though he hadn’t worn it, supposedly, since his embarrassing zodiac phase. Then, he physically ran into someone that he’d been too preoccupied to see.

“Oof,” she muttered, followed by a small high-pitched mewl. This snapped him out of his thoughts.

A girl wearing a hat with cat ears and a large jacket was looking up at him with a hurt pout. Then, a tiny grey kitten popped out of her jacket to stare at him with a questioning look. Dave opened his mouth to apologize, but she started talking first.

“Pawlease don’t tell anyone I have a feline friend here,” she pleaded, looking worried and hiding the cat in her jacket. Then, she noticed something. “Wait, are you wearing Karkat’s jacket from high school?” She inspected it closely. “Interesting, you are!” Before she could say anything else, though, a series of meows erupted from her pocket. She pulled out her phone and gasped. “Oh no, I’m late! Sorry, I have a very impurrtant thing right now, but I’d love to meet you later! Bye,” she said cheerily and dashed away with one arm inside her jacket to hold the kitten. Dave blinked a few times and put it together that she must’ve been Karkat’s friend.

Nepeta ran to her dorm as quickly as she could while still carrying little Karkat in her arms. She found big Karkat standing outside looking annoyed because he couldn’t get in without her.

“Sorry! I ran into a guy. We can discuss inside, because I’m very curious about something.” Nepeta quickly opened the door and led him to her dorm room. Luckily, her roommate was out somewhere. She had left her knitting half finished, however, so Nepeta knew she’d be back soon. The juicy details had to be shared before then.

“So who’s this asshole you ran into?” Karkat asked. He knew he was opening a can of worms, but he was sure it was going to be opened one way or another, so he decided to get it over with.

“That’s what I wanted to ask you! He was wearing your old jacket,” she said, raising her eyebrows.

“Oh, that’s just Dave.”

“Just Dave? How come I haven’t heard of him and he has one of your most embarrassing objects on his purrson?” Nepeta asked while pulling little Karkat out of hiding to play.

“It’s kind of personal information. I don’t think he’d want just anyone to know.”

“Is it Kave?” She asked.

“Excuse me?” Karkat asked, raising his voice a bit because he could tell where this was going.

“I think I like Davekat better, though. Aww, your color choices totally compliment each other! He likes to wear lots of red, and you like red too but mostly blacks and greys, but he also has those shades that are black, so it’s purrfect aesthetically.”

“Can you stop fucking analyzing how perfect of a couple me and my new friend would be based solely on our clothing choices? How shallow do you think I am?” Karkat crossed his arms.

“Have you had any deep conversations with him yet?” Nepeta asked, jotting something down in her pocket notebook. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor while he was leaning against her dresser.

“Of course. I have deep conversations with anyone worth my time,” he said nonchalantly.

“Have you gone anywhere together just you two?” She asked, writing down more, almost like she was going down a checklist.

“Kind of. Does it count if Sollux works there and Gamzee had to make a fucking appearance without anyone asking him to?”

“I’d say yes, but only if you planned on it being the two of you and you walked there together.”

“Then yes,” he said, unsure where this was going or why it even mattered.

“Have you told him you’re gay?”

“Yeah, that just happened. It was awkward as hell because he asked me a stupid question.”

“Do you feel frustrated around him or about him often?”

“I suppose. I wrote a whole ass poem about it earlier, right after we first met,” he supplied.

“Do you think he’s attractive?”

“Fuck no!” Karkat sounded defensive and stared at her. “And what are you writing down?”

“Oh, nothing. What’s your contact name for him in your phone?”

“Uh, Dave, obviously. What the fuck else would it be?”

“Can I see it to make sure you aren’t lying to me?” She asked, giving him an innocent look.

“No. I don’t let anyone see my phone.”

“Did you let Dave see your phone?” She asked instead.

“Shit I guess I kind of did, but only to mock him for never knowing the fucking time of day when he texts me. He texted me at 3 this morning like an absolute douche.”

“So you talked to him at 3 am.”

“Well yeah, someone had to tell him how fucking inconsiderate he was being or else he’d go unchecked.”

“I do believe this ship is well on its way to being reality,” Nepeta concluded, adding one last check to her list.

“Wait, what? Were you just analyzing my relationship again? Why the fuck do I never see what you’re doing when you do that? And no, this ship is not happening, it’s staying anchored at the shores of Nepeta’s fucking fantasy land.”

“But Davekat has such potential, don’t you think Karkat?” She asked.

“No, of course I don’t think so. I just said it isn’t going to happen. Are you even listening to a damn word I say?”

“How could I not? You’re always so loud. I was talking to little Karkat,” Nepeta said, pointing at the kitten.

“You really need a new name for that thing. It’s stupid when you explain what he does and everyone thinks you mean me. I’ve gotten way to many texts asking if I’m really taking a shit in litterboxes now.”

“Hmm, I guess I could rename him.”

“I could help you so you don’t pick another fucking terrible name that ruins another friend’s dignity,” he replied, crossing his arms.

“Nope, I already know what I’ll call him.”

“Oh really? What?”

“Davekat.”

“No, fuck no. Nepeta, you can’t name your cat the ship name between me and my friend.”

“But it’s pawsitively purrfect! Look, he even likes it. Isn’t that right, Davekat?” Nepeta asked in the perfect tone to make the kitten mew happily in response. She gave a smug look to Karkat and stuck her tongue out. “I’m keeping it.”

“What makes you think it’s even a viable ship? I haven’t done anything I wouldn’t do with any other dumbass.”

“But you gave him your jacket.”

“There are other times that call for giving your jacket to someone than dating or about to be dating.”

“Like what?”

“If someone has a really fucked up situation surrounding a certain jacket and their mother who’s a bitch but gave it to them and they wear it anyway, you can give them a new jacket as a ‘screw you’ to the awful parent and a sign of goodwill. I’m sure there are more, too.”

“Then again, when a gay man gives a jacket to another gay man after meeting and while going out on an almost date, that seems like it still falls into the furst category, however you frame it.”

“How do you even know Dave’s fucking sexuality already? Did you do a full background check on him, too? And can you stop shipping me with every single eligible male within a fucking five-mile radius already?”

“Nope, and I can just tell sometimes. A good shipper always can. Why are you freaking out so much anyway? Usually, when I ship you, you just roll your eyes. This dramatic reaction almost helps confurm what I’m thinking.”

Karkat groaned something inaudible. “I’m just exhausted. Can we actually study during this study session so I can go home and collapse?”

“Yes, I’ve figured out everything I wanted to.” Nepeta started to pull out some papers to quiz Karkat on terminology for their anatomy class.

Rose knocked softly before opening the door. “Jeez, what’s going on in here? I could hear you from outside the building.”

“Nothing. Nepeta, don’t say a single fucking word.”

“Oh, we were just renaming my cat so he didn’t have the same name as Karkat. His name is Davekat now.”

Karkat facepalmed so hard it gave him a worse headache than he was already developing. “I think I’m just going to go. I can’t focus on studying right now.”

“I bet I know why,” Nepeta said with a wink.

Rose didn’t say anything about how strange the whole interaction was, but she made a mental note to ask Dave about ‘Davekat’ to see if it was something he was in on, like a joke. She sat on her bed to continue working on knitting. Karkat stormed out of the room, but Nepeta was so excited about her new shipping fuel that she wasn’t too disappointed their session got cut short. She busied herself texting all the normal people she talked to about her latest ship.

Karkat was glad Sollux was getting off work in only a few minutes. He jumped in his car that was in the parking lot on the east side of campus and drove to the parlor to wait for his friend to get out after cleaning up the back. While he sat there, he slammed his head into his steering wheel a few times and just left it there. Everyone was so eager to see him get together with Dave, even his own mind, but he felt like they were all pushing him too hard. He’d only just met the guy. Granted, he hadn’t dated anyone since the incident, but that didn’t mean people should force him into things. He heard the door open and close.

“Are you okay?” Sollux asked, lightly placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Nepeta took things way too fucking far,” he grumbled from under his arms.

“I-I know, riight? I-I can’t beliieve she made that groupchat and everythiing.”

“She what?” Karkat snapped his head up to look at his close friend.

“She made a groupchat to talk about Davekat. I-I honestly agree wiith her, but I-I know how forciing you iinto thiings was how that last thiing happened with Terezii.”

Karkat flinched slightly and sighed deeply. “Damn it, Nepeta. And I don’t really blame anyone specifically for that whole screw up, but yeah, maybe if people weren’t fucking shipping me with my friends all the time, I’d actually be able to decide who would be good to date instead of letting everyone else control my entire damn life and realizing afterwards that it’s a shitshow.”

“I-I get iit. That’s why I-I diidn’t push iit too much. You can make your own deciisiions. I-I do thiink that siituatiion helped you fiigure out who you are, though. Maybe iit wasn’t all bad. Do thiings your own way, iin your own tiime, and maybe iit’ll work out thiis tiime, now that you have a better iidea of what you want and who you want.”

“Thanks. I knew I needed to talk to you about this. You’re the best bro sometimes, you fucking nerd. How’s Aradia doing?”

“Great!! Her full structure iis almost buiilt already. And I-I’m startiing to make sure her software can be transferred iinto her body. She should be fiiniished by break.”

“Wow, I can’t believe you designed your own damn girlfriend and you still just work as a stupid ice cream guy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say about this one. I guess I hope you enjoyed it! There's definitely more craziness to come, what with Jade's grudge on Kanaya, Rose's research into the mysterious 'Davekat', how many people Nepeta really texted in that groupchat, how much Eridan and Dirk tell each other, if Jake is really obsessed with Tavros or if it was just a joke, what thing happened with Terezi that made Karkat not want to date anyone for who knows how long, what the hell John's doing, and how things are going to go with finalizing Aradia. And that doesn't even include events that are going to happen that you can't even see coming yet, so things are going to get interesting.


	6. Come Out and Say It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose figures out the secret behind Nepeta's cat's name, Dave tells two more of his friends his newfound sexuality, and Sollux gets to watch Karkat text Dave almost all night while still not telling him what he originally intended to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my titles are becoming really uninspired by now. I'll put more effort into it in a couple days. Enjoy!

Dave got back to his dorm and was relieved to find that Eridan wasn’t there. He didn’t want to guess where he was or who he was with, but he really wanted to text Dirk about what had happened with Karkat, so he hoped they weren’t together.

**Hey, I need someone to talk to, bro**

**Sorry Dave can’t rn, I might get some Netflix and chill tonight**

**Wow, I can’t believe I’m always there for you and you can’t even listen to me say one thing**

Dirk stopped responding, so Dave groaned and almost threw his phone onto his bed, but then he saw that he had a text from Rose and a different one from John. The preview for the Rose text was so bizarre that it took priority over John’s, although Dave usually answered him first.

**Do you know why Nepeta’s cat is named Davecat? Is it some sort of joke you have with her that’s ironic or something?**

**Uh no. The little gray cat?**

**Yes, he’s a few months old and has amber eyes.**

**I thought he was named Karkat, after our mutual friend**

**Ohhh, wait, he might be named Davekat. That would make more sense.**

**As like a cooler version of Davecat, with the k making it more interesting and original?**

**No, Dave. I think it’s a ship name. Nepeta thrives on ships, and I heard Karkat yelling at her about one in my dorm before I arrived. It would be Dave + Karkat = Davekat.**

**That ship is definitely news to me. Damn, I talked to her for what, a minute? And I’m already subject to her shipping**

**Don’t worry, she immediately shipped me with one of her friends, too. I haven’t even met her friend that she ships me with, so I guess you’re better off if you actually hang out with Karkat to begin with. It makes more sense as a ship, at least. I mean, you are straight though, so it wouldn’t work. He’s also a little loud while you’re pretty chill.**

**Um, Rose. I haven’t told many people, and now that I think of who I have told it feels a little weird, but I realized the other day that I might be gay. Please don’t feel bad that I didn’t tell you, I haven’t even told John yet, only Dirk and Karkat**

**So your brand new friend takes precedence over me? To keep from feeling upset over it, I’m going to pretend you really do like him and Nepeta’s ship is correct.**

**Okay, do what you want to. I need to text John now, because I haven’t talked to him much since we started classes**

**Alright. Thank you for telling me your epiphany about your sexuality, even if you delayed it a little too much.**

Dave ran a hand through his hair nervously. He wondered just how many people on campus now shipped him with the subject of his budding first crush. When lots of people wanted something to happen, it usually ruined it. He hoped that wasn’t the case and he would be free to take it at his own pace. After the turmoil he felt, John’s text seemed so simple and made him chuckle quietly.

**Do you remember the name of that movie with the flying dog and those creepy statues that could see into your soul to see if you were worthy but lasered you if you weren’t?**

**You mean the Neverending Story? Dude, how did you not know the name of that?**

**Oh, yeah, thanks Dave! We should get together soon to discuss everything that’s new. I heard you helped Jade when her inconsiderate roommate killed her plants. Do you have any new potential friends?**

**Yeah, I’ve been talking to Karkat a lot. His friend Sollux is also pretty cool, and I have a CS class with him**

**How can you stand to talk to that guy? I have a class with him, and he drives me up the wall! He’s so loud and often says obscene things**

**I guess that’s true, but if you actually talk to him and get past the loudness, he’s a really good person. He gave me his jacket today just because it bothered him that I wore a jacket from someone who wasn’t actually there for me. He also runs a lost and found for people on campus. I can see how people would have a bad first impression of him, but I’m really starting to like being around him**

**Well maybe I’ll give him a chance, but in my class, he seems really uninterested in talking to me beyond bouts of insulting**

**I don’t know, man. Maybe he doesn’t like you, or maybe you said something that made him have a bad impression of you too. Before I forget, I wanted to tell you something before I tell too many other people and feel bad for not telling you sooner. Ever since I’ve been here, I’ve started thinking a lot and I may have been a closeted gay for a while. Maybe that was why I didn’t find anyone attractive before. But anyway, I think I’m getting a crush on a guy now, and I definitely find him attractive in that way**

**Dave, please tell me it isn’t me. I’m not homosexual and I’d feel bad if you fell for me**

**God don’t be so narcissistic. I already get enough of that from Dirk, you know? I’m not interested in you and never will be. You’re practically a brother to me. Please don’t tell anyone my sexuality or that I have a crush, because I want to tell the others in my own time**

**No worries, my lips are zipped**

**Thank you**

Karkat pulled into his driveway to find Sollux’s moms’ car parked in front.

“I-it looks liike my famiily’s spendiing the niight agaiin. We could have a sleepover at my house, iif you want two,” Sollux said.

“Oh fuck no. No offense, but I’d hate to live in your house. I can’t get a signal past those stupid fucking protective walls you have up. I understand that they need that to stay safe, but it’d drive me insane.”

“You just want two text Dave toniight,” Sollux muttered.

“I’m not discussing that subject with anyone who is building his own damn girlfriend.” Karkat stormed up to the door and opened it. “I hope Samson isn’t here this time. I hate that asshole. He can somehow only hear my voice, so he takes everything I say out of context every single fucking time I open my mouth.”

Sollux didn’t mention how it was just because Karkat was so loud every time he opened his mouth. He was the only person that Sollux’s twin brother didn’t need to read lips in order to understand, besides maybe Karkat’s dad. They walked inside to find that Samson was there.

“Fuck,” Karkat said loud enough for the partially deaf boy to turn his head.

Both of Sollux’s moms were sitting at a table with Samson while Karkat’s dad wandered around the room spouting ideas about what the information they were hacking access to could mean. Karkat hated these meetings, because it was the type of thing he wasn’t allowed to be a part of due to what had happened to his mom. Sollux just chose not to participate because he preferred a semi-normal life with friends and not being locked in a basement for hours on a computer. He’s accomplished his somewhat normal childhood while Samson stayed indoors, learned coding, got homeschooled, and grew pale like a cave salamander. Although they both had heterochromia, Samson never hid his because he didn’t have anyone he’d care enough to hide it from. His family and Karkat’s were the only people who knew he even existed. The government still thought he’d died at birth. Meanwhile, Sollux pretended to have a usual home life and covered his uncommon eyes with mismatched glasses that eventually determined his entire style.

“You two should go to Karkat’s room,” Samson said, enunciating his words carefully and making them sound the way he expected they should, based on what snippets he could catch from other people speaking. “You don’t want to be associated with what’s happening here, and what we’re doing is classified.”

“Fine, asshat. We’ll be going,” Karkat stated, causing everyone in the room to glance at him for a moment and for his dad to sigh loudly before getting back to work.

Sollux and Karkat climbed the stairs and went into his room, shutting the door behind them just in case they could accidentally hear something that would make them targets.

“You should tell Dave you liike hiim,” Sollux said, sitting on the edge of Karkat’s bed.

“Isn’t it a little early for that?”

“I-I don’t know. You seem so pent up wiith what you want.”

For a few minutes, Karkat considered it, and it seemed like a decent idea. He hadn’t known Dave for long, so he realized there wasn’t much to lose if he told him. While he was still thinking, he sent a text.

**I have something to tell you**

He didn’t often send normal texts that weren’t in caps, but it felt like an important situation.

**What is it?**

Seeing the text come in almost immediately caused Karkat’s determination to get it over with wilt. He stared at the text and felt intimidated. It was too soon. He feared he’d ruin things and never have another chance. But he couldn’t just leave Dave hanging like that. He had to tell him _something_.

**My mom died when I was younger. It’s only fair that you know after you told me all that shit that happened with your mom**

**Damn, I’m sorry. I hope I wasn’t insensitive with anything I said. Jade tells me I’m insensitive, especially when it comes to that type of subject**

**No, you’re fine. I’m over it by now and your mom is still a bitch to just fucking leave you and send you a jacket like that makes up for it. Also, I think I’m the most insensitive douchebag I know, besides maybe Gamzee or hell Eridan might be worse**

**Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me. Eridan is definitely worse. I can just see how he’d react to anything important. At least your actions have more sensitivity underlining them than your words**

Karkat kept texting Dave for a while after that with a small smile on his face. He eventually told Sollux he didn’t have the guts to tell Dave he liked him yet. Sollux just accepted it and told him to take his time. He didn’t want to be responsible for making Karkat rush into a disaster.


	7. House of Horrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sending a ton of college students to a haunted house, what can go wrong?

Only a few weeks after Dave and the others had transferred to University Alternia, it was October. To celebrate the season, the school was having the students visit the nearest haunted house as a day trip. Dave was calmly excited about such an opportunity and convinced everyone he could to sign up, and while Karkat seemed cocky about how lame and tame haunted houses usually were, he may have been overcompensating for a time he had once been scared and embarrassed. Tavros couldn’t make it, because unfortunately the haunted house hadn’t been made accessible, so Jake decided not to go either. Jane said she had better things to do. That left John, who was wearing a glow-in-the-dark Ghostbusters shirt, Dirk and Eridan, who after dating for a few weeks were practically inseparable, partially because they were both so obsessive and prone to being jealous, Roxy, who seemed pretty chill about the idea of being there, Rose, who thought the whole aesthetic was neat but a little cheesy, Jade, who already seemed nervous or scared on the ride there, Nepeta, who had some knowing look on her face and a cat in her jacket the entire time, Kanaya, who found the décor charming and took a few pictures from outside, and Sollux, who was too preoccupied by his test run of Aradia’s physical form to really care where the hell they were headed. The bus was full of students, but these were the ones Dave felt he was somewhat responsible for dragging along on the trip, and he was pretty proud of himself.

Dave wasn’t too surprised that Karkat sat next to him on the ride there, because Solux was the only other logical option, and he was too busy chatting to the robotic girl. Jade sat in front of him and glanced back at him often, especially if Karkat said a particularly loud or ridiculous comment. Dave didn’t think too much of it. He was too thrilled for what was coming and fully expected Karkat to eventually get so spooked that he’d just kind of huddle into Dave’s arms in the dark and it’d be okay because no one would be looking. He smiled at the thought, which caused Karkat in real life at that moment to poke him hard in the shoulder.

“Stop smiling like you’re plotting the next world war,” he said.

“You’re misreading my smile, I think. I’m not plotting anything,” Dave replied, looking at him through his sunglasses.

“Maybe if you weren’t fucking wearing sunglasses at nighttime, I’d read your expression better. It’s in the damn name ‘sun-glasses’, as in you wear them in the sun, not like they’re glued to your fucking face.”

“But these are moonglasses,” Dave objected with a smirk. “As in, they’re for blocking out the moon’s light.”

“Those are the same stupid sunglasses you always wear, Dave.”

“During the day, they’re sunglasses. At night, moonglasses. I never have to take them off unless I’m asleep, and only then because I might break them by rolling around too much.”

“That’s the stupidest logic I’ve heard since I met you, and that’s saying something, because your logic is always pretty much what you’d expect from an absolute fucking hot dumbass,” Karkat said.

“What did you just call me?”

“An absolute fucking dumbass,” he corrected, hoping Dave really hadn’t heard his slip. It wasn’t the night for accidents like that, especially because he’d told Nepeta he’d finally try to take things a little further than friends with Dave at some point that night.

Of course, Jade had to spin around in her chair and squint at Karkat through her glasses as if she planned on locking him in one of the hidden rooms in the haunted house and leaving him there. He didn’t doubt she would and scooted closer to Dave for safety. Dave didn’t mind, but he wasn’t sure why Karkat was suddenly almost brushing sides with him after maybe calling him hot.

“That’s so sweet of you, you loudmouth fuck,” Dave responded, deciding to let the slip be ignored. It was pretty common by then to accidentally fall into he realm of flirting with Karkat and then pretend it hadn’t happened, so he wasn’t too bothered by it.

“Don’t let all these compliments go to your head. Besides your questionable moonglasses logic, tell me one thing: if you were kissing someone, would you take them off?”

Dave thought about that, which inevitably became a fantasy about kissing Karkat that he had to abort before it came flowing out of his mouth in words. “If it came to that, then yes. I’ve never kissed someone before, though, so I’ve never had that reason to take them off.”

“Hm,” Karkat said, and he wasn’t the type to make thoughtful noises usually, so it sounded very forced. He couldn’t very well put into words that he was almost planning to kiss Dave that night.

Before Dave could question Karkat’s lack of a response, they had arrived at the haunted house. He grabbed Karkat’s sweater sleeve and pulled him off the bus with him before most of the other students. The idea of being in a haunted house with all of his friends and Karkat was reducing him to the state of a child on a sugar high. Even his brother lewdly stealing a kiss from Eridan while they waited to get inside the attraction couldn’t lower his spirits. Karkat told him to ‘calm the fuck down’ multiple times before giving up. He couldn’t see why Dave loved the specific trip so much, but it was actually really adorable to see him so enthusiastic about something.

Then, as they were getting ready to enter, something horrible jumped out of the bushes, causing Karkat to unleash something that started out as a scream but quickly turned into a yell. He was so startled that he ran into Dave.

“Oh hell no, I didn’t know they had clowns here!” He shouted, shaking his head.

“Will a motherfucker chill? It’s just your bro, Gamzee,” Gamzee said.

“Why the fuck are you in full-ass clown makeup? You do know this isn’t a damn costume party, right? You aren’t trying to scare the actors, it’s definitely the opposite way around.”

“I just wanted to get into the spirit, yo. All those clown guys have such good costumes every time.”

Karkat facepalmed and pulled Dave away. “Let’s go. There’s no way I’m stopping in the middle of a fucking haunted house to discuss costume techniques with killer clowns.”

“Do you have a fear of clowns?” Dave asked quietly.

“Do you have a fear of not wearing your stupid glasses?”

“Not really?”

“Then not really is my answer too.” Karkat wanted to get the whole thing over with so he could find the perfect moment to invade Dave’s personal space and tell him he’d liked him since they met.

The two were admitted into the haunted house once it had a low enough capacity to allow them not to run into anyone else. However, some of the others had their own ideas about the timing of going through a haunted house. Rose had met Kanaya for the first time, and so they decided to go through the whole thing finding nice shots for her album. This ended up becoming them going back and forth through the haunted house taking pictures when they weren’t allowed to and trying to avoid the actors. Dirk and Eridan completely stopped in one of the rooms to just sit and talk and eventually cuddle. There was an animatronic rat in the corner that kept going off, but they didn’t really mind. People who walked past thought they were just a strange part of the attraction. Nepeta accidentally dropped Davekat and was running throughout the whole place trying to find him without telling any of the faculty there she had a missing cat. Roxy made it out by herself easily and hung out waiting for everyone else. Aradia had a malfunction and became the equivalent of paralyzed, so Sollux had to carry her outside and decided to sit with her to keep her company instead of finishing the attraction. John actually chickened out after one of the worst jump scares and used the exit. Jade walked through before realizing Dave wasn’t with her, so she backtracked to find him.

When Jade caught up to Dave, he was smiling at Karkat getting increasingly paranoid that he’d get jump scared like he had been by Gamzee. He knew that if there was a clown, he’d be a goner. Instead, there was Jade. She came walking through the fog and strobe lights.

“Dave, can you come with me for a minute?” She asked with a smile.

“No, don’t you fucking leave me here!” Karkat shouted desperately.

“I believe in you,” Dave said. “I’ll just go see what she wants.”

“Fine. But you better come back,” Karkat said.

Dave followed Jade into one of the quieter rooms. It had a layer of fog with a laser on it to make it look like green water. He liked the effect and ran his hands through it to make it swirl. “What do you want?” He finally asked, remembering why he was there and not with Karkat.

“You were very chivalrous when my plants died, even though it turned out they didn’t die and they grew in the front yard there.”

“Uh, thanks I guess.”

“And I feel like you’ve always been there for me, ever since we met. I thought I should finally tell you that I think we should be an item. I like you, and you seem to like me by how nice you always are, so why wait? Almost all the rest of our friends have someone, which leaves us to have each other.” She smiled at him in what he thought might have been a flirtatious manner, but he felt sick.

Dave didn’t know how to let his friend from childhood down. He realized she had been one of the only people he’d forgotten to tell about his sexuality, and it turned out she was the second most important one, maybe third. He saw her looking at him expectantly and was thankful for his sunglasses to hide the panic in his eyes. Instead of answering her, he said, “Uh,” and ran out the nearest exit. Jade was in shock for so many seconds that she just stood there staring after him. Then, she frowned. That wasn’t what she’d expected at all.

After exiting what would’ve been the coolest place he’d been to in a long time, Dave kept running until he was at the edge of the property and sat on the other side of a tree to lean against it and hide. He sighed and groaned and looked up at the sky and actually took off his sunglasses. Situations like the one with Jade were his least favorite, mostly because he struggled to deal with them without hurting people. He didn’t want to lose Jade as a friend altogether, but he started to worry she had only stayed his friend so long due to her crush on him. Then, he remembered that he’d left Karkat behind in the haunted house and felt terrible about that. His phone rang. He almost didn’t even check to see who it was, but decided that it could be Karkat. It was Sollux, so he picked up.

“What’s up?” Dave asked, trying hard not to sound like he’d just broken down.

“Where the hell are you? Karkat miisses you,” Sollux said.

“Does he?” It was the type of thing Dave needed to hear.

“Of course he does. He liikes you a lot. I-I wiish you would get past thiis awkward phase and just date already.”

“Maybe if he looks me in the eyes and tells me he likes me I will,” Dave said.

“I-I can send hiim your way, iif you tell me where you are.”

“I’m past the bus behind a tree, but if he starts walking over here, I’ll come out so he knows he won’t get jump scared,” Dave promised. “I’m just hiding from Jade.”

Sollux paused to tell Karkat something, and Dave could hear him yelling at him for saying what he did and demanding he hand him the phone. Apparently, Sollux declined and told him to go find Dave. “Okay, he’s headed your way,” Sollux confirmed eventually.

Despite how he was feeling, Dave smiled. “Thank you.” He hung up and peered around the tree. In the light shining outside of the building, he could see a figure that he knew to be Karkat, so he stepped out of hiding.

“What the actual fuck did she do to you?” Karkat asked when he was closer.

“She told me I should date her,” Dave said.

“Why didn’t you just tell her you were gay as hell? Since she can’t tell I guess.”

“I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“So you fucking ditched me instead?” Karkat asked.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I just panicked and had to get away from her.”

Karkat hugged him tightly and Dave hugged back because he definitely needed it. It was the first time they’d hugged since meeting, and it was a rather extended hug. Then, Karkat pulled away and smiled at him.

“You missed it, I was scared out of my fucking mind towards the end. There was this room that was full of clowns.”

“So you are scared of clowns,” Dave said quietly. “It’s only fair that I face my ‘fear’ since you faced yours.” He took his sunglasses back off and looked up at Karkat.

“Wow, that’s what it took for you to finally pry them from your face skin?”

“Yep,” Dave said with a grin. He knew this was as close to a breakthrough they would get that night, but it didn’t bug him. He always enjoyed Karkat’s company, so he didn’t mind waiting to date him until it was completely out in the open between them.

“So that makes three times that you take those fuckers off: while asleep, during kissing, and when you want to make things up to me. Still pretty stupid. I don’t understand why you don’t just take a break from them sometimes. It’s not like you have anything to hide.”

“My eyes are really sensitive to light, because they’re usually pretty dilated,” Dave admitted. “Dirk’s the same way, so he wears his sunglasses a lot, too.”

“I guess that’s a good reason, but I still think you need to take them off sometimes.”

“You just want to stare at my eyes,” Dave teased.

“Not as bad as you stare at me every single fucking day.”

“You don’t know that, because you said before that you can’t tell where I’m looking when I wear my sunglasses.”

“It’s pretty damn obvious when you start to drool all over the fucking place.”

“I don’t drool.”

“Yeah right.”

Dave chuckled. “Thanks for making me feel better, by the way. I’ll probably just text Jade and tell her I’m gay.”

Karkat got a text from Nepeta and turned away from Dave a little to answer it just in case he could see their earlier messages.

**I lost Davekat 3:**

**YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN. TONIGHT HAS BEEN THE WORST FUCKING SHITSHOW**

**No, Karkat, I litterally lost my cat in a haunted house! I don’t know what to do**

**OH. SHIT**


	8. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta, Kanaya, Rose, Dave, and Karkat search for Davekat in the haunted house, Dave makes sure Jade is okay, and the group accidentally leaves someone behind after the trip. Along the way, Dave and Karkat begin to show more affection without mentioning it, and a few more people start shipping them. Karkat then has an argument with his dad about whether or not Dave is a government spy.

“Dave, we have to go find Davekat,” Karkat said, looking up from his phone.

“What?”

“That stupid cat that’s named the worst name ever but used to be named my name. He’s lost in the fucking haunted house, and Nepeta is flipping her shit.”

“Oh, shit. Yeah, let’s go help her find the poor little guy.”

“I hope he’s not in that one room with those clown assholes and Gamzee. I’d be traumatized if I was him.”

Dave nodded and started to walk back to the haunted house with Karkat. He put his sunglasses back on at some point and it made Karkat feel just a little special because he was the only one who got to see Dave’s eyes. When they made it back, Nepeta was standing outside in tears, but she’d only talk to Rose and Kanaya about her problem. They both agreed to help. She looked up when Karkat arrived with Dave and stopped crying for a moment to smile a cattish grin that they’d been away from the group together in the dark. She hoped they were finally dating so the night wouldn’t be completely terrible.

“Let’s go find this feline,” Dave said, as if he had to call the shots.

The group walked back into the entrance, thankful that they had unlimited passes for the night. Once inside, Dave realized the sheer amount of hiding places that would be perfect for a kitten to vanish into and frowned. About halfway through, they ran into Eridan and Dirk kissing in the corner.

“Shit, they really got this place spot on. They even have Dirk and Eridan in the corner. Really covered every single nightmare in here,” Dave said.

Eridan stopped to look over at him, but he couldn’t see Dave because he’d swapped glasses with Dirk at some point. “You’d think you’d be used to it by now, loser,” Eridan said. “I think you’re just jealous because you don’t have the guts to ask someone out.”

“For real, bro. I’m sure you could be dating someone right now if you just talked things through,” Dirk added. Eridan’s glasses made his eyes look ridiculously large.

“I don’t need your relationship advice, thanks,” Dave said shortly and led everyone out of the room. Although he sometimes did need Dirk’s advice, he had learned the hard way not to ask him anything while he was near Eridan.

Soon, they were in the room he’d left Jade in. Dave’s stomach twisted with dread. He really didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so he still didn’t know how to let her down easy. She wasn’t in the room, but he knew she was somewhere. If she was crying on the bus ride home, he knew he’d feel absolutely terrible. Everyone walked on once they noticed the room was empty.

In the darkness on the other side of the room, Dave felt a hand that was slightly larger than his hold his hand suddenly. He squeezed the hand as an acknowledgement that he was there, because he assumed it was Karkat trying not to get scared of what was coming. The girls were feeling around in the darkness with Kanaya periodically taking pictures with flash to give them some light. Instead, she ended up blinding everyone except for Dave. A doorway loomed up ahead, and Dave could already see a clown in the next room. The hand holding his held on tighter as they neared it. He could feel him shaking slightly.

Everyone walked into the next room with Dave and Karkat at the back. Nepeta hardly heeded the actors who were trying to be menacing in clown makeup by holding various weapons. Rose had already talked to one of them about the situation, so they weren’t too intense. Plus, about half of them were engaged in a conversation with Gamzee about the best company to buy clown clothes from. Karkat moved closer to Dave and shut his eyes.

“Tell me when this hellfest is over,” Karkat said in a quieter than usual tone.

“Okay,” Dave said, squeezing his hand again.

“Davekat! There you are,” Nepeta finally said. She sounded so relieved that everyone looked over to where she was crouched beside a fake black cat on the ground. Underneath was nestled Davekat, fast asleep despite the loud, chaotic environment.

Dave heard Karkat release a loud sigh of relief. He led him out the back of the attraction before the others since their mission was over and slowly let go of his hand. Karkat let go of his and neither of them mentioned it.

“He was asleep in that room,” Dave said.

“What the fuck? That cat has problems.”

“Yeah,” Dave agreed. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he already missed holding Karkat’s hand.

The bus was soon boarding. Dave rushed onto it with Karkat in tow, because there was no way in hell he’d be stuck sitting with someone else, especially if that person was Jade. He was relieved to find that Jade had chosen to sit somewhere else and didn’t seem to be crying when he caught a glimpse of her. He took out his phone and started to figure out what to tell her.

**Hey, about earlier. I’m sorry I just rushed out like that. It’s not that you aren’t a great person, I’m just gay. I realized I forgot to tell you :/ so kind of my bad**

**Oh, damn I had no idea! I should’ve seen it earlier. You’re always with Mr. McShouty Tightpants**

**I’m not dating Karkat! Why does everyone think that?**

**You guys totally act like a couple if anyone pays attention, which I guess you don’t. That’s so cute, though. I love boyslove, so you’ll have to tell me all the details if you do end up together**

**Uh, what?**

**We’ll just do some gossiping and stuff! It’ll be fun**

**Okay, as long as you aren’t upset**

**Nope, I’m excited for you**

Dave sighed. He was exhausted from everything that’d happened that night. Although everyone said they already acted like a couple, he wondered how Karkat would react if he leaned his head on his shoulder to sleep on the way back. He glanced up at him and noticed he was listening to music on earbuds. Since Karkat hadn’t asked out loud in the haunted house, Dave figured it’d be better not to voice anything. He slowly lowered his head onto his shoulder.

“Aren’t you going to take the stupid shades off?” Karkat said, taking out one of his earbuds.

“Good point,” he muttered, and slid them off.

Karkat took them and put them on top of his own head so they didn’t get lost. He put his earbud back in and let Dave sleep on him for the rest of the trip. While Dave was fast asleep, Karkat marveled at how his shoulder was the perfect height for him to lean on. He blushed and had to look away from Dave’s sleeping face as if he could judge him through his closed eyelids. Luckily, the lights were off on the bus, so the others couldn’t see anything until they passed by the occasional streetlight. Karkat thought he saw Kanaya’s camera flash but didn’t think much of it. Pretty soon, he was asleep too with his head rested against Dave’s. Being tired and comfortable, he’d forgotten about his drooling problem.

When Dave woke up, he became aware that Karkat had fallen asleep. His neck was a little cramped, so he slowly lifted his head to find his cheek was damp. He didn’t think too much about it. Karkat’s sleeping form leaned heavily against him, so he maneuvered him to rest horizontally across the seat with his head on Dave’s thighs. He also took the opportunity to grab his sunglasses before they fell on the ground and slid them onto his face. Hesitantly, he rested a hand on Karkat’s head and played with his hair. It apparently soothed him, because he fell into a deeper doze and drooled on Dave’s pants while snoring.

The bus stopped near campus, and all the lights came on. Karkat opened one eye.

“Mom?” He asked groggily, causing Dave to tense up and stop petting his hair, which caused Karkat to freeze and fully wake up.

Karkat sat up quickly, and the air between them was awkward and a little sad. Dave felt bad for making Karkat remember his mom, even if it was by accident. He scolded himself for not doing anything right that night. Then, he glanced down and noticed the drool spot on his pants with a frown. He watched Karkat wipe his eyes, pretending to wipe the sleep from them and not tears, and made a note not to talk to him about his mom.

Right after everyone got off the bus, Karkat got a text. He pulled out his phone and groaned loudly. “We left Gamzee with the fucking clowns,” he said. “So guess who has to pick him up. Dave, come with me.”

“Okay,” Dave said, knowing it’d be a bad idea to force Karkat to be in a car with the guy in clown makeup for such a long drive by himself.

Jogging to Karkat’s car together, neither noticed how many people were watching them curiously, assuming they were going to do something completely different than rescuing a druggy clown from a haunted house. As soon as he turned the key, it started blaring Depeche Mode, so he frantically turned it down and bit his cheek nervously. He hadn’t expected letting Dave into his car to feel like such an invasion of privacy, but it was like displaying his inner self in a museum. Quietly, he waited for Dave to judge him.

“I like this album,” Dave said, reaching to turn it up a little. Karkat was in shock the moment Dave started singing along under his breath.

Karkat started driving, being very conscious of how fast he was going the whole time and trying not to make Dave uncomfortable in any way. It was a lot of work, especially since he’d just woken up. They passed the half hour drive without a word, which only made him feel weirder at first, until he realized it was a comfortable silence. When he pulled up, Gamzee was standing outside of the closed haunted house looking kind of like a freakish lost puppy.

“I owe you big time, bro,” Gamzee said, stepping into the backseat. He reeked so badly that Karkat involuntarily rolled down the windows to air the car out. He kept nervously glancing in his rearview mirror and trying not to panic while driving until Dave gently took his hand.

Karkat set his jaw and glanced down at the hand holding his. It did make him feel better, but he wondered if this meant there was something more between them that was unspoken than there’d been before. In one night, he’d held his hand, hugged him, and slept on him, all without it feeling out of place. Yet Karkat hadn’t had the chance to actually ask Dave what they were or should be. He held Dave’s hand until they dropped Gamzee off at his dorm.

“Thanks,” Gamzee said with a yawn. “I think I’m going to go motherfuckin party.”

“Whatever, just get the hell out of my car before carrion birds start to think something fucking died in here.”

Gamzee gave him a lazy smile that bothered him much more in clown makeup than usual and walked away down the sidewalk slowly. Karkat sighed heavily and dropped Dave’s hand so he wouldn’t have to talk about that yet. He drove to the outside of Dave’s dorm to drop him off. Then, when he turned to say thanks for going with him, he realized Dave was completely asleep. Since he couldn’t get into the building by himself and there was no way in hell he’d ask Eridan for help, he decided to take Dave with him and let him sleep in the guest bedroom that Sollux’s parents usually used.

Karkat turned the music down some and drove to his house quietly to let Dave sleep. It was about two in the morning, and he knew for a fact that he’d been losing sleep pretty much since he’d gotten to college. Then, at his house, he carefully picked Dave up and struggled to unlock the door while carrying him. He was thankful his dad was up late working and helped him get Dave into the guest bed. Afterwards, he stopped Karkat in the living room.

“Who is he?”

“He’s my new friend. He isn’t a spy, I swear to fucking god. He’s an Econ major, but I don’t think he has any interest in politics. He just accidentally fell asleep in my car and I couldn’t get into his stupid dorm because one of the worst people alive is his roommate.”

“I’ll be the judge of that in the morning.”

“You’re going to interrogate Dave fucking Strider to see if he’s a threat. Dad, chill the hell out. I promise you he’s safe.”

“I’m really close to something pretty damn big, and I don’t need some college student ruining my life’s work. When we trust people too easily, that’s when things like what happened to your mom happen.”

“You’re not going to get fucking assassinated because I brought a boy into our house to sleep.” Karkat crossed his arms. “You’re just paranoid about everything ever, but if you need to talk to him to believe me, shithead, then I’ll wake him up early enough to talk to you before classes. It’ll be shitty to make him lose sleep, but if it’s what you want, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, Karkat, I knew you’d understand.”

Karkat flipped him off before going to his room. That night, he couldn’t sleep very well knowing that Dave was under the same roof as him and possibly being observed by his dad to assess his threat level. He remembered his dream from when he’d been sleeping on Dave earlier that’d made him cry. Dave had seen him cry, and he hadn’t said anything about it. He hoped the interrogation in the morning wouldn’t be too harsh, because he really wanted his dad to like Dave.


	9. The Texted Lecture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Dave proves to Karkat's dad that he's both a decent non-spy person and a worthy conversation partner, Karkat receives a string of lengthy texts from Kankri all throughout the morning. Kanaya wonders where some of her photos from the night before went and thinks someone may have stolen them. In his frustration and anger, Karkat writes another poem and draws a funny doodle. He also loses a bet to Dave.

“How do you know my son?”

“Uh, I met him a few weeks ago when I was a new student at the college and we just kind of got along well so we’ve been hanging out a lot,” Dave said, running his hands through his hair to try and comb out the bedhead. He hadn’t expected to wake up in Karkat’s house, much less be interrogated the moment he opened his eyes. He was glad Karkat at least had been the one to wake him, otherwise he might’ve started throwing punches.

“What relationship do you have to him?”

Dave hesitated. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint it with words, especially without asking Karkat. “We’re close friends.” The words stuck in his throat as if he was friend-zoning himself.

“What do your parents do for a living?”

“I don’t have any contact with my mom, so I don’t know what she’s up to, but my dad works for a small webtoon company. He makes sure the website works correctly and makes the art look as good as intended on any device. He also does some game development on the side.”

“Hmm. It makes me sad to see what the modern times have done to romance and families. We’re to the point that some of the youth don’t even have access to their parents’ wisdom. Of course, not everyone has two parents to begin with. Sorry, Karkat, if you can hear me from the other room, that may have been triggering to you. Although I never lost a parent myself, I watched how he struggled with the loss of his mother. What do you think about the government?”

“Obama was pretty cool, but I have this weird conspiracy about him that makes me think he might be cooler than he seemed. Besides that, it’s all pretty boring and broken. All I really pay attention to nowadays is the economy, because I know it could be better if certain measures were taken.”

“I don’t think you should really be idolizing presidents, or any member of the government, or any person for that matter, but if you acknowledge that your sense of him was false, I suppose I’ll let it slide. The economy is probably one of the lesser aspects of the government to worry about. We should probably focus more on how our actions as a society perpetuate the agenda of the system. If Karkat was part of an illegal group trying to take down the government, hypothetically, how would you react?”

“That’s pretty badass to think about. I’d probably admire him or something. I don’t think I’d be much help, but if he wanted me to I’d join him. I bet he’d have like an eyepatch or something.”

“Whatever, he’d be terrible at it because he’s lazy and doesn’t do any research before acting,” he corrected him, crossing his arms. “He also has no motivation to do anything meaningful with his time. And saying that having an eyepatch is cool is problematic. I can explain why another time.”

“Um, okay. Is this over, because I’m kind of hungry for some shitty college food.”

“No. It’s not over. I haven’t proven if you’re who I think you are or not yet. I’m not convinced that you’re a decent student or person yet. What’s your name?”

“Wow, you’re just know asking what his fucking name is?” Karkat asked, walking in with a piece of toast. “Ask about opinions on the stupid government first and names later, I guess.”

“It’s Dave Strider. Do you need my middle name, too?”

“Yes. I need to know everything I can to make sure.”

“Fine,” Dave said with a sigh. “It’s Elizabeth. What’s your name? Since you’re getting to know everything about me apparently.”

“That’s classified information until I figure out your background.”

Meanwhile, Karkat was trying not to laugh his ass off that Dave’s middle name was Elizabeth. He hated how his dad was so adamant on proving Dave was innocent when he already was, but he was learning some priceless stuff on the way.

“Oh, alright. I didn’t know this was some men in black shit,” Dave put his sunglasses on.

“Please try not to curse so often unless it’s warranted. I know Karkat has a pretty loose mouth sometimes, but I’ve tried to tell him that he might offend people if he isn’t careful. I should hope he isn’t influencing your speech patterns in a negative way. And men in black could possibly be insensitive towards off-earth residents, although I haven’t heard any of them saying they were offended yet. I don’t know if anyone has ever met one, now that I think of it, but it’s always good to be careful. Do you think Karkat does good enough in school?”

“Why are you asking me that? I thought you knew he was almost the valedictorian.” Dave noticed that the conversation wasn’t about him anymore.

“Underdogs usually make better leaders, historically, but I guess he inherited a knack for research and other academics,” he muttered. “What’s his major?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know if he knows,” Dave said, feeling like this was out of the territory he could talk about.

“I hope it’s something important and not the arts. I’d even be okay with music, like political rap or something, but if I found out he was just a stupid painter or writer or something, I think I’d take him out of class. Not that I have anything against artists, they can be really nice entertainers and whatnot, but I’d like to think that I raised a boy with a sense of how to correctly and inclusively change the way things are for the better. I just don’t see that happening if he was, say, a fantasy writer with thoughts preoccupied by nonexistent scenarios and not the injustices happening on a daily basis right in our town.”

“I do political rap sometimes,” Dave offered.

The air in the room shifted so suddenly that Dave felt like a tide had just receded. He saw the man’s eyes widen and a small smile play on his face.

“My name’s Kankri. Nice to meet you Dave. I hope to have conversations with you to help educate your rapping so that you can send a meaningful message to your audience. I’ve actually tried some political rap myself, but it always turns out too wordy somehow. It’s hard to put a beat to it without cutting out important things. I’d love to hear your method sometime, but Karkat told me that you have classes this morning, so I won’t keep you any longer. I’d also like to apologize for this impromptu string of questions, as they may have felt intense for you. I hope you weren’t too uncomfortable in our house and that you decide to come again. You may leave when you’re ready.”

When Dave and Karkat got out to the car, he realized something was very off about Karkat.

“I hate him so fucking much. I’m sorry you had to go through that shit.”

“Why was he so obsessed with how you’re doing in school? Don’t you ever tell him?”

“Hell no! Did you hear what he said about only doing something ‘important’? It’s because of him that I hide my interests from everyone I meet.” Karkat slammed his head into the steering wheel. “I wish I had the money to fucking move out already. I would get a job, but I’m focused on my schoolwork too much to keep my stupid fucking scholarship. He’ll never be impressed by me. You only had one conversation with him and he’s already slightly fucking impressed. He loves Sollux, even though he does all the same shit I do and doesn’t participate in his revolution shit either. He’d fucking adopt Samson if he could. I know he’d love that. I bet if I didn’t remind him of my mom, he’d just kick me out and let me fend for myself on the streets.”

“Karkat, you don’t have to prove anything to him,” Dave said, trying to cheer him up.

“Yes I do! Constantly. It never fucking ends, the proving and proving. ‘Look, Dad, I’m actually worth more than a fucking dime.’ ‘Look, I actually have friends who aren’t out to kill us.’ ‘Look, I’m leading a small organization against the school system, but it’s just me.’ I won’t ever prove to him that I was worth the time of day to raise me. That’s why I wish my mom was still here. She actually gave a fuck about what happened to me and what I wanted to do, instead of just pushing ideals on me every fucking moment of my miserable life.”

“Why do you want him to acknowledge that you’re worth it if he never will? I know it can be hard trying to impress someone who can’t be impressed, but what do you hope to gain?”

“I just want him to love me for me, I guess,” Karkat said, calming down some and wiping his eyes. It was the second time Dave had seen him cry in about six hours.

“Maybe it’s time you sought that from someone who actually will. Like my situation with the jacket. Don’t keep hoping for something that might not happen, find it for yourself elsewhere. Find someone who’s there for you and cares.”

Karkat was absolutely silent for a few minutes. He noticed that his dad was peaking through the blinds and let out a growl. “We’re going to be late if we stay here any longer,” he said. “But I’ll try to find someone like that.”

Leaving the driveway, Karkat felt more relaxed the more distance he put between him and his dad. “I’m sorry you had to see that shitshow. I usually react like that any time he opens his fucking mouth. You’re just lucky he didn’t have the time to lecture you or some shit.”

“Karkat, what’s your major?” Dave asked curiously.

“I can’t tell you. I haven’t even told Sollux yet, and he’s supposed to be my closest friend.”

“But isn’t his family really close with Kankri?”

“I guess that’s a fair point. Dave, I want to major in creative writing.” Karkat slumped in the seat a little while still driving.

“That’s totally sick! Are you going to write poems, or short stories, or hell, maybe even novels?” Dave was staring at him again with some kind of adoration he wasn’t used to.

“Mostly poems about my emotional issues, but I also do stories and little comics.”

“I do comics, too. They’re super fun.” Then, Dave frowned. “But he doesn’t want you to be a writer, right? Is that why it gets to you so much?”

Karkat’s tense silence was enough of an answer.

“I say screw him. It’s your life to live how you want. Even if you were just writing shitty fanfics, you’d at least be doing something you love, and who’s to say that’s wrong?”

“Sometimes, I think you’re less of a shitbrained idiot than usual,” Karkat said, and it was the closest to an endearing compliment Dave expected to get.

“Thank you. I try.”

Then, Karkat’s phone started going off. It was so consistent and often that Dave thought it was ringing for a second. Karkat froze, pulled it out while still driving, and threw it down on the area between them.

“That jerk is lecturing me over text again. I bet he was just dying not to give a full speech during his interrogation and holding back just for your sake. He probably thought he could get you to almost like him so he could start talking your ear the fuck off too someday. He’s going to be texting me all morning with righteous bullshit about how I should be less offensive and choose better company. And about how I should really think about what to do with my life. Fuck him.” He gripped the wheel tighter as the messages continued to pour in. “Maybe I’ll just tell him I don’t get signal on campus and ask if he has a cliffnotes version. He’ll probably yell at me about that, but who cares anymore. He can only be so disappointed.”

“Damn,” Dave said quietly.

“Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m practically turning into him just ranting about it.”

“No, it’s fine. If you really feel so pissed about it, you could maybe stay with me until things are better?” Dave suggested. He couldn’t really tell what the situation was.

“He wouldn’t stop. He’d keep messaging me until he had recreated his entire senior’s thesis essay, which was the length of an actual motherfucking book and covered all of the injustices of the college system itself. As you can imagine, it became kind of legendary as being completely terrible. But anyway, the longer I’m out while he’s like this, the more things he’ll think to send me. When it’s not face to face, I can’t exactly interrupt him.”

“That must be hard to live with.”

“You have no fucking idea.” Karkat parked and realized he was panting from being so angry yet suppressing it around Dave so he wouldn’t road rage. He was even shaking, which he also hid. He took one glance at his phone and made a noise of disgust. “He’s already sent seventeen fucking novel-length texts, and it’s been what, ten minutes? He types like he talks, as if he’s writing the next nobel-prize acceptance speech and expects everyone to listen to it. I can’t wait until he starts going back through his own messages and stating what was problematic with what he said, because one he gets the whole ass point across, he starts doing that too.”

“Want to make a bet on how many messages he’ll send?” Dave asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Sure, although I probably have an advantage because I’ve already been through this. I’m guessing he’ll send about forty.”

Dave thought about it. “I’ll say sixty. If it’s fifty, we’re both right.”

“Are we actually going to bet anything on it?”

He shrugged. “I don’t think I have anything you’d want.”

Karkat blinked slowly. Dave had no idea how many things he wanted from him, but he wasn’t about to propose that as the prize for winning a bet. “You have to wear pajamas to school if I win.”

“Fine. You have to wear my jacket if I win.”

“Damn, how the hell am I even going to fit in it? Isn’t it from like middle school? It looked small on you.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” Dave said confidently.

“If we get there, you mean,” Karkat said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, whatever. I need to get to class.”

“Wow, now you care about what time it is,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“I’ll see you later. Keep an eye on the texts to see who wins the bet.”

Karkat groaned. “Don’t worry, I can’t easily ignore it.” He glanced at it again, and the count was already about to reach the thirties. Then, he noticed he also had a text from Kanaya.

**Did You Steal My Photographs?**

**WHY THE FUCK WOULD I STEAL THOSE? BREAKING INTO YOUR ROOM IS WAY MORE EFFORT THAN I USUALLY PUT INTO SOMETHING SO POINTLESS**

**I Don’t Know I Guess It Was The Subject Matter That Made Me Think You Did It**

**Do You Think Perhaps Dave Would Have?**

**HE WAS AT MY HOUSE ALL NIGHT, SO NO**

**Oh Really? That’s Quite Interesting**

**HE PASSED OUT IN MY CAR AND I HAD NO FUCKING CHOICE. STOP READING INTO THINGS LIKE THAT. I WOULD’VE AVOIDED HAVING HIM MEET MY DAD AT ALL COSTS IF I COULD’VE**

**I Suppose That Makes Some Sense**

**It Is Suspicious That Every Picture Including The Two Of You Vanished Overnight Though**

**MAYBE IT WAS THE UNIVERSE TELLING YOU TO FUCKING STOP TAKING PICTURES OF ME AND MY FRIEND**

**Or Maybe My Pictures Held Evidence Attesting To The Theory That You Two Are More Than Friends And Everyone Can See It By Now Especially After The Display Last Night**

**You Might Not Have Realized It At The Time But My Flash Helped Me To Capture Some Things That You Probably Thought Went Hidden Such As When You Were Holding Hands In The Haunted House**

**Some Of The Photographs Were Really Quite Cute And I’m Sad To See Them Gone After Development**

**OKAY I DO NOT NEED YOU TALKING SO DAMN MUCH WHILE I HAVE KANKRI SPOUTING AN ENTIRE BOOK AT ME AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME. SO YOU WERE TAKING PICTURES OF ME AND DAVE TO PURPOSELY MAKE IT SEEM LIKE WE’RE DATING? THAT’S SO SCREWED UP I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. MAYBE YOUR STUPID ROOMMATE STOLE THEM BECAUSE SHE HATES YOU AND LIKES DAVE? IDK MAYBE THAT MAKES SOME FUCKING SENSE AS OPPOSED TO DAVE OR ME BREAKING INTO YOUR ROOM IN THE NIGHT TO STEAL PHOTOS THAT WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED YET**

**Okay I Can See That You’re In A Mood This Morning And I Don’t Blame You Because Your Father Is One Of The Worst People I’ve Ever Had The Misfortune Of Being In The Same Room As So I’ll Just Try To Find Them**

**You Might Make A Point In Thinking Jade Was The Culprit So I’ll Look Into That But I Don’t See How She Could Really Hide Anything From Me In Our Room**

**I DON’T KNOW. STOP SENDING ME WORDS RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FUCKING EXPLODE**

Karkat stared at his phone and unleashed an incomprehensible noise of anger and frustration. He could not believe that there was a series of pictures out there somewhere that made everyone aware of the affection he’d shared with Dave the night before. Just when he thought it would remain unspoken and unnoticed, it was captured forever and in some thief’s hands, probably as blackmail material. He decided the only thing he could do was try to act like it wasn’t a big deal when it was eventually, inevitably brought up, but it was hard when it felt like his whole world might end. Before going to class, he muted his phone.

In his writing class, Karkat was glad the teacher hadn’t decided to lecture them that day and just gave them a free write day. He spilled words over the page in a waterfall of verse.

Why do I have to impress the impressable?

When there was already someone who loved me.

Do I need to recapture some lost part of my soul

By trying to connect with someone hellbent on avoiding connection?

Of all the words spoken,

How many were of encouragement?

Endearment?

How many were self-centered and ‘problematic’

Under the surface?

Even now, you continue to spout your half-articulate nonsense,

And I fear I’ll one day become you.

They say people should look up to their fathers,

But I can only look forward to getting as far away from you as possible.

Yet, for some reason that no number of words could explain,

I want you to one day say I was a good son.

Karkat noticed he was sweating when he finished jotting down the words. He hoped his dad would never see it for multiple reasons. Then, he decided to doodle. He drew a small sketch of Dave being talked at by Kankri with that expressionless face and it made him smile. Before calling it complete, he added a few more ‘blah’s to the drawing coming out of his mouth. He took a picture and sent it to Dave. He noticed that the messages had finally stopped pouring in and checked how many it was. It was exactly sixty-nine, so Dave was closer to winning. After the picture, he texted Dave.

**DAMNIT YOU WIN. WHEN SHOULD I GET THE JACKET?**

**I’ll meet you after you get out of class. Also, that was a hella funny picture. You drew your dad spot on**

Karkat smiled and quickly put his phone away before the teacher noticed it was out. He started to write a story that wasn’t really going anywhere, but the character was pretty interesting and had an eyepatch. No matter how problematic Kankri thought it was to think eyepatches were cool, Karkat completely shared Dave’s opinion that it would be extremely cool to end up with one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is probably the longest one so far, but I think it's mostly because the combination of Kankri talking and Karkat ranting makes for a lot of dialogue. At least I spared you the 69 texts, right? That could've been tiring for both me writing it and anyone reading it, so I decided against torturing us. I'm sure you can imagine what it was like, and the cliffnotes version should be coming in the next chapter.


	10. Missing Pictures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat does what Dave asks him to since he won the bet, although Dave changes his mind about the jacket deal. Then, the missing pictures resurface in a way that sets a few different things in motion and cause Karkat to miss class for the first time that year.

When Karkat got out of his writing class, he was in a significantly better mood than he’d been in that morning. He didn’t have too much on his mind besides the fact that he was going to have to force himself into Dave’s jacket. Dave was waiting in the common ground area for him when he walked out of the building.

“You can come to my dorm with me to try it on, if you’re worried it won’t fit and you’ll look stupid.”

“As long as your douchey roommate isn’t there, that’d probably be the best idea.”

“I’ll go in first to make sure. He’s been hanging out with Dirk a lot lately, so he shouldn’t be, but who knows.”

Dave jogged inside the dorm building and knocked on the door before walking inside. Luckily, it was empty, but he noticed that his side of the room looked terrible, so he quickly tidied it up a little before Karkat could see it. He pulled his jacket out of the bag he’d kept it in since he started wearing Karkat’s jacket, which he now had to force himself to not remind him of Kankri’s stupid red sweater. He could see why Karkat chose to dress in black instead, because he really looked a lot like his dad physically. He set the jacket on his bed in case it got awkward and they had to make a quick exit from the room. Then, he went back outside to get Karkat.

“Come in, he’s out somewhere,” Dave said.

“Thank god. I really don’t want to run into him today, too. I’ve had enough terrible conversations already, and most of them were just over text.” Karkat followed Dave inside.

Once inside, Karkat looked around. “Why is that exactly what I’d expect Eridan to keep in his living space?” Then, his eyes fell on the jacket and he sighed. “Are you sure there isn’t something you’d rather be the reward for somewhat winning that stupid bet?”

After Dave’s realization about how wearing red probably made Karkat feel like he was becoming his father, he was having second thoughts about it, but he couldn’t think of another option because his brain kept creating fanfiction-worthy fantasies instead of feasible ideas. There was no way he’d use the opportunity to kiss Karkat or something. “Uh, do you have any ideas of something that would be bad but not quite as bad?”

“You’re asking me to choose my own price to give you for winning a bet. I thought an Econ major would be more with it with how much things are worth.”

Dave shrugged. “My brain has no filters, so you don’t really want to hear what my ideas are.”

“Oh that’s pretty fucking terrifying to think about so yes, please spare me on that.” Karkat thought about it for a bit, also suffering from weird fantasies that he wouldn’t ever voice out loud or write about. “The problem is, I don’t know what sort of shit you’d want.”

“I guess I want to know some answers to things.”

“You’re seriously going to fucking interrogate me after what Kankri did to you this very morning?”

“Nope, I just have one question.”

“That’s probably worse.”

“Do you like anyone, Karkat?”

“What are we, in fucking middle school? I don’t think college students usually go around thinking or asking about if people ‘like’ other people. Unless you’re Nepeta or something.”

“You didn’t answer the question. Just think, we’re two chill guys hanging out talking vaguely about some feelings.”

“I suppose I am fond of one person, but I don’t know if I’d consider it fucking ‘liking’ him because I haven’t completely thought it through yet. Does that satisfy your stupid question?”

“Yes.”

“Good, now we can get on with our lives and pretend that you weren’t just about to force me to wear a tiny red jacket all day.”

Dave chuckled. He couldn’t believe he’d actually asked him that question, much less gotten an answer of some sort. After Karkat left the dorm to go to his next class and ran past Eridan once he saw him in the hallway to avoid an encounter with him, Dave remembered that he still hadn’t eaten anything that morning and made his way to the food court to grab something. Meanwhile, on his way to class, Karkat noticed that he had yet another text that would probably open the floodgates to another annoying conversation. Nepeta had messaged him.

**Davekat says hi and thank you fur saving him last night :3**

**Also, have you seen the mew pictures on social media? I’m so glad you decided to go through with it last night**

**They’re really cute, but I’m kind of surprised you agreed to let them be posted, especially with how adamant your dad is about tracking your accounts**

**WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?**

**The pictures of you and Dave**

**Have you seriously not seen them yet?**

**WHY IS EVERYONE MENTIONING THESE FUCKING PICTURES THAT I *STILL* HAVEN’T SEEN YET?**

**Here, I’ll send some screenshots :3**

Karkat looked at the pictures he received next and his mouth dropped open. He couldn’t understand how it happened. Then, he knew a few things. First, these were pictures taken of physical photos and posted, and second, they were posted by Jade. She really had stolen Kanaya’s pictures, but he couldn’t see what she was hoping to gain. It was hard to tell whether she intended to ruin their lives or encourage them. Just as he was typing a response, he started to get a call from his dad of all people. He didn’t often call, so Karkat knew it must’ve been important or something.

“What is it? Haven’t you talked at me enough today?” He asked as soon as he picked up in case he didn’t get a chance to speak afterwards.

“I can’t believe that Dave lied to my face this morning. That is so rude. Does he not know that I’m an accepting and openminded person that he can freely talk to when I ask him questions? He told me that you were only close friends, but now I see that you’ve been flaunting your affection not only in public, but on social media, too. Imagine how that makes single people feel for a moment.”

“Dad, we aren’t dating.”

“Karkat, don’t interrupt. I wasn’t finished. I also don’t understand why he’d want to keep it a secret from me while being okay with it being broadcast on the internet. You must know by now after my extensive conversations with you about the way it works that it isn’t safe to post such personal things online.”

“We aren’t fucking dating. You, of all people, should know that sometimes you’re really close to a person without dating them. Also, I didn’t post that, and neither did Dave. I think we’re being blackmailed or something.”

“Please work on your language. If what you say is true, then it seems someone has acted without your consent, and that’s very unfortunate to hear. I’m sorry I assumed you were the one who posted this, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were still being affectionate in the first place.”

“Isn’t it like reinforcing gender norms to say that men can’t show affection or some shit?” Karkat asked.

“Do not bring up such a spinoff topic that detracts from what I’m trying to tell you, please.”

“What are you trying to tell me?”

“Oh, right. Let me try to get back to where I was. Are you feeling okay after this breach of privacy?”

“I’m fine. I was actually just about to get to the bottom of why this happened when some asshole had to call me and scold me and lecture me about internet safety and flaunting nonexistent relationships.”

“That isn’t very nice of you to say, but I guess the circumstance does call for some explicit words to properly express how you feel. Let me know if you need any help getting to the bottom of it. I’d be happy to get into the comments and ‘rail’ on this individual for ruining your autonomy. But, if you are gay and dating Dave, I want you to know that I think that’s completely valid and I’ll do everything in my power to comprehend everything you’re going through as a person and as a couple. Also, tell him I said I was looking forward to hearing his political rap for the first time.”

“Whatever. I need to go. I’m running late for class.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m keeping you from your learning. Now I’m flaunting my privilege of free time and a lack of responsibilities, aren’t I? I’ll see you tonight, when you’re done with classes.”

“Bye,” Karkat said and hung up with a groan. He decided to send Dave a text just so he knew what to expect from his friends.

**HEY ASSHOLE**

**What? I’m in class**

**WELL SOME SHIT HAPPENED AND now there are pictures of us on the internet that make us seem like a couple. Jade posted them after FUCKING STEALING THEM from Kanaya and now the majority of people think we’re dating. If you want me to, and if you give me her number, I can see what the fuck is up with her and what ransom she wants us to pay for her to take it down, or you can because I know I’m probably going to be really harsh and loud about it**

**Damn, she probably thinks she’s ‘helping’ us or something. I’ll try to talk to her, but if it doesn’t work, I’ll let you do your thing**

**HELPING US WHAT?**

**Nothing, I don’t actually understand why she did this at all. I have to go, and aren’t you late for class or something? I don’t know when it starts, but you’ve been on your way there from my dorm for a while**

**FUCK YOU’RE RIGHT. TALK TO YOU IN SCIENCE**

**See you then**

Karkat still didn’t understand what Dave had meant by helping. He began to think maybe Dave had told her he actually wanted to date _him_ and that was why he didn’t like her, on top of being gay obviously. That was probably wishful thinking, but he still really wanted to talk to this girl to see if she knew anything or if she was trying to demand anything. Against Dave’s plan, he decided to skip class for the first time that year and find her.

**KANAYA, IS YOUR TERRIBLE ROOMMATE IN THE DORM RIGHT NOW?**

**Yes Unfortunately**

**OKAY, I’M COMING OVER TO TALK TO HER. ALSO, SHE DID FUCKING STEAL YOUR PHOTOS**

**Ugh She’s The Worst Possible Person To Have To Live So Close To Ever**

**I’ll Let You In If You Text Me When You’re At The Door To My Building**

**I’M ALREADY HERE**

**On My Way Just Give Me A Minute**

Karkat waited outside for almost exactly a minute until Kanaya opened the door for him. They shared a glance that was equal parts annoyed and frustrated with the situation before she led him up to her dorm room. He walked inside and found Jade asleep.

“Wake the fuck up,” he demanded.

Jade blinked a few times and pushed her glasses up before looking at him with a shocked expression. “Oh, hi Karkat.”

“Don’t you ‘hi Karkat’ me. Do you know what you just did?”

“I just helped you and Dave take it a step further by increasing the amount of people who support the idea of you guys becoming an actual couple.”

“No, shitface, you just made almost everyone we’re friends with _think_ we’re already together when we’re not. And you made my fucking dad lecture me about the insensitivity of posting affection on social media! Two things that I did not want to happen today or ever. So if you could just take them down and I don’t know, make a post saying ‘sorry, my bad. I fucking screwed up really bad by posting shit that wasn’t supposed to be posted’ maybe you’ll begin to make it up to both of us.”

“So you aren’t going to start dating because of that post showing evidence that you already seem like you’ll be such a great couple?”

“Fuck no. What’s wrong with you? You just asked him out and now you obsessively want to get us together. This is worse than Nepeta’s usually bullshit, because it seems like you’re getting some kind of pleasure out of seeing this unfold.”

“Oh, I am. Since I can’t have Dave, I thought it’d be alright to at least enjoy the idea of Dave being taken by someone else, specifically a loud and terrible yet handsome guy with a nice body. And if I can make that reality, that’s even better.”

“Jade, that’s pretty terrible and sounds an awful lot like you’re fetishizing gay men, which after the amount of times lesbians have been fetishized makes me think it’s a bad idea,” Kanaya cut in.

“It’s not like I invented boyslove!” She replied, throwing her hands up.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to fucking perpetuate it,” Karkat shouted. “Just let things be. If you realize one day that you’re simply happy for us, if we for some reason start dating by then, then I’ll accept your joy readily, but if you do another creepy obsessive thing like this I swear I will get my dad to come after you, and you definitely don’t want that.”

Kanaya shook her head and turned even paler for a moment. “That is possibly one of the worst punishments for any crime ever, is being stuck in a room with Kankri Vantas after committing any transgression against anything that can be defended or attempted to be defended by his lofty words.”

“Fine, I’ll take them down. I’m already on the site, so here I go, deleting perfectly good and innocent posts.”

“Thank you. And give the physical pictures back to Kanaya so she can put them away where no one will ever fucking find them ever.”

Jade frowned. “Okay, geez. I’ll do that too. I can’t believe you just stormed into my dorm to start commanding me around.”

“I think I have some right to tell you what to do when it involves my image.”

Reluctantly, after deleting the posts, Jade handed the stack of pictures back to Kanaya. Then, she made a rather lousy apology post. Karkat half hoped his dad was still following the feed and would jump on there to call her out.

“By the way, what were you even planning to do with these pictures?” Karkat asked Kanaya.

“I was going to give them to Nepeta and maybe Rose. I’m not sure if Rose would’ve wanted any of the pictures I took, but I was hoping it might make an alright gift for her, and I knew that Nepeta would love to have pictures of one of her latest favorite ships. You know she would’ve kept them secret and hoarded them.”


	11. The Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat and Dave hang out and ask each other questions that are dangerously close to asking if they like each other without actually being that. Then, Karkat gets in a terrible argument and gets his feelings hurt so badly that he breaks down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a rollercoaster, just saying. Wear your seatbelts and keep your hands and legs inside the ride. You were warned.

Dave was annoyed when he found out Karkat already talked to Jade against his wishes. “If I found out you went full Kankri on her about how she should’ve asked us before posting, I swear I’m going to beat up some random bystander. Like this guy will suddenly be knocked on his ass.”

“I didn’t. Kanaya helped me and I feel like we handled things like decent people. Jade took down the posts and sent out an apology post and gave the photos back to Kanaya. I only did it because I wanted to save you the trouble of fucking dealing with yet another interaction stemming from people thinking we’re dating.”

His face softened a little. “Thanks.” He went back to working on his assignment and actually finished it early, so he started drawing a terrible comic to try and cheer himself and maybe Karkat up. But his brain took over and he ended up drawing a picture of him hugging Karkat and decided that it belonged to be hidden in the depths of his backpack. Instead, he drew a picture of him interacting with Karkat that mirrored the one Karkat had drawn that morning, except that Dave looked much happier in the picture and Karkat looked passionate about whatever he was talking about. He slid it across the table.

“At least I don’t look so much like my dad in this picture,” Karkat observed with a small smile. “What do you think I’m talking about?”

“Probably music. That’s one of the only conversations I’ve been in with you where you looked like that.”

“True.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, where’s Sollux? He wasn’t in class this morning and I haven’t seen him around all day.”

“I think last night he mentioned that his teachers let him take the day off to help Equius fix Aradia. Did you see what happened to her at the haunted house? She fucking froze and he had to carry her around like a giant lead paperweight after that.”

“Oh, okay. Does that mean you have time after class to hang out instead of driving him home?”

“Um, maybe some time, but I do have to study,” Karkat said with a groan.

“I don’t think one night, or part of one, is going to ruin your grade.”

“You’re right for once, dumbass. What are we going to do?”

Dave shrugged. “Anything you want.”

Karkat’s eyes widened and he tried not to let a whole stream of things that he might want cloud his mind. “We could talk about things. I want to know more about you and all that shit.”

“Okay, I’m down for that. Where should we go?”

“Want to get smoothies again, just us?”

“That sounds good.”

Class was soon over for the day, so they walked to the smoothie place together and both were highly conscious of the amount of people who probably saw them together and thought they were _together_. Dave was curious what Karkat would want to know about him, because he couldn’t even remember the full extent of things he already knew. Once ordering the same flavor on accident again, they sat down across from each other.

“So, to make things fair or something, I have to ask. Are you interested in anyone?”

“Yes, and I’ve thought about it a lot, so I suppose it’s really not as complicated a feeling as I originally thought it was.”

“And you’ve never dated anyone?”

“Right.”

“That’s kind of good, in a fucked up sense. You never had the chance to majorly screw up or get hurt.”

“But I also wouldn’t know what I was doing in a relationship.”

“Hell, I wouldn’t even know what to do in a relationship, and I’ve been in one before. I think it depends on a lot of shit.”

“Huh, I never thought of that. I guess I just assumed it was something you learned through your first experience dating and from there it was always the same.”

“No, I think it changes drastically based on who you’re dating and what your goal is,” Karkat said thoughtfully. “Like for instance, what’s your type?”

“My type? I don’t know, that’d be hard to explain,” Dave said nervously. “I’ve only liked one person, so I don’t know if I can pinpoint a type without just describing him specifically. I guess maybe I like complicated people who won’t just easily fall for you and tell you directly they like you. What about you?”

“I like mysterious people who see past my insults and loud remarks and care for the person underneath. But also someone who can take it, and dish it sometimes.” Karkat tried not to stare at Dave while he described him to his face. He hadn’t meant for the conversation to get here, or maybe he had in a way. He couldn’t remember what his original intention was besides just finding out more about him. “What’s your dad like?”

“He’s a jerk, but he cares about me a lot. I’m his ‘little baby boy’, so he always expects Dirk to look out for me. He sometimes even tracks our fucking phones to see if we’re close to each other or not. I’d describe him as a douche with a point, but now that I see what your dad is like I have to say he isn’t _that_ bad. He’s also extremely gay and has lovers over to the house frequently, which is really uncomfortable to think about if I’m staying there. Do you really think I impressed your dad?”

“Yes, he even told me that he was looking forward to hearing your political rap. You better actually have that shit, otherwise he might rage on you. He already got super pissed earlier because he thought you lied to him about us dating and thinks you don’t trust him or believe he’s openminded and accepting. Which, to be fair, I didn’t even tell him I was gay as fuck, so maybe I was the one who didn’t trust him. You’ll probably have to explain things to him sometime before he launches into one of his monologues, but then things should be fine between you. Also, ever since my mom died, he’s taken an oath of celibacy and he hates physical contact more than anyone I’ve ever met, which makes it really fucking difficult to have any sort of bond to him, especially as his son.”

“Noted. My dad still doesn’t know I’m gay, but mostly just because I haven’t felt like calling him or talking to him. And I really do have a political rap collection, but seriously, no one listens to it except Dirk, so it’s going to be hard for me to feel okay with sharing it with someone like him. Some of my lyrics are really nasty and terrible because I don’t hold back what my brain spouts while I’m rapping.”

“You’d be surprised how insane Kankri gets when he’s riled up. He’s said worse things to me than I’ve heard in a long time just because I accidentally brushed past him. He has the capacity for really intense language when you set him off, but then he gets all apologetic and insufferable afterwards. I hate every single fucking one of his moods, and I’ve seen almost all of them.”

“I guess I could see that. You know, if he ever upsets you again, you can stay with me in my dorm until things calm down. I’ll sleep on the floor or something,” Dave offered.

“I don’t know if it’d be worth it with Eridan around. If he started hitting on me when I was already in a fight with my dad, I think I’d lose my mind.”

Dave didn’t know what to say, so he just sipped his smoothie.

“Ugh, speak of the devil,” Karkat muttered, checking his phone. “My dad wants me to eat dinner with him.” He physically slumped in his chair at the idea.

“You’ll probably be fine. He probably wants to make you feel better after you were a victim of having your pictures posted online without consent or something, right?”

“Maybe. He’s probably also going to ask if I read his texts, which I didn’t. Hell, he could even ask about my plans for the future or some shit. Or he’ll tell me he’s close to a breakthrough and talk about that a ton. He and Sollux’s moms always act so secretive about what they do, but he basically just has them hack up dirt on people and then blogs about it. He might even ask me about my sexuality.”

“Damn, well good luck with that. I’m just a text or a away if you need someone to chill with after that grilling, if there is a grilling. I still don’t really understand how your dad works.”

“Join the club, he’s an unpredictable asshole like most parents.”

“I’ll see you later,” Dave said with a smile.

“See you,” Karkat replied and he would’ve smiled back if he wasn’t so anxious.

Karkat held his breath when he walked in through the door. A whole dinner was on the table, so he knew something had to be up. Kankri never took the time away from his work to do such things.

“Please, have a seat so we can talk. I’m assuming you didn’t read my messages this morning, which is alright given recent events and everything. I’m sure you had a lot on your mind and not much time to pay attention to me. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings too much by calling you like that while you were at college.”

“Great, so you’re just going to rehash everything you told me in person, aren’t you? Can you at least give me the shortened version?” Karkat asked, sitting across from his dad at the table.

“Yes, I can attempt that, but you know I’m not very good at cutting down on important points I wish to make. I just wanted to talk to you about your major. I know you probably want to do graduate school for whatever important area of study you’ve chosen or might choose, and I believe that having a strong major that allows you some leeway during that transition is going to be important. I can give you any suggestions you might need to cater to your academic strengths and interests. Being valedictorian, or in the top percentage of your class, should help you accomplish this, but you must remember not to let it get to your head that you have higher grades than others. Make sure to help those with less time and commitment and intelligence so they aren’t hurt, and never show off your grades. I was trying to evaluate your skills and determine what major would suit you-”

“Dad,” Karkat tried to cut in.

“-best, and I think perhaps public speaking might be a good choice what with the way your voice can carry so well. You’ll just have to work on making your speech patterns less offensive and more comprehensible, which will just take practice. Feel free to practice speeches on me anytime.”

“Dad,” Karkat tried again, stabbing his meat with a fork in frustration.

“Being a speech major could have lots of applications in real life. You could speak up for the under privileged people and lead rallies and all number of other amazing things that would make the world a better place for generations-”

“DAD,” Karkat shouted, slamming his hands on the table.

Kankri, startled out of his monologue, looked at Karkat with a betrayed expression. “What is it?” His voice had an edge to it, as if one move could push him into dangerous territory.

“Can you stop deciding my entire life for me for one second and listen?” Karkat asked.

“Yes, but please know that I’m not deciding anything but giving friendly, fatherly, advice to you from my vantage point of experience and older age.”

“Please just shut up,” Karkat said a little louder. “I already have a major, but I haven’t told you what it was because I knew you wouldn’t like it.”

“I’m sure I’ll be completely fine with it. Just tell me what it is. You know you’re my son, and nothing will ever change that.”

Karkat heaved a sigh. “I’m a creative writing major.”

Something looked like it broke inside of Kankri and his eyes got some kind of terrifying glint in them. “You’re a mistake,” he said, glaring at Karkat. “A blemish on my existence.”

“Well excuse me, but I’m not the motherfucker who got someone pregnant and had a son, now am I?” Karkat shouted back, trying to hide that the comment had hurt him.

“You’re right about that. I never should have had sex. Sex was a fucking mistake, and you’re just a byproduct that never ceases to ruin my damn life. I could have accomplished so much more, if not for you leeching my time and energy. I shouldn’t have been a father, I should’ve just had some succulents. I could’ve dealt with that shit, but no, I had to have son who insists on being a wart to society who does nothing but write fucking fantasy and maybe poetry. What has a poem ever done for justice? Do you realize how selfish it is? I raised you to be better, do not tell me that was a fucking waste of my time.”

“You know what. Fuck you too, Kankersore. If you don’t want a son then fine, I’m leaving.” Karkat flipped the plate at Kankri and hoped some sauce got stuck in his hair and on his sweater. “Good luck with your stupid fucking blog that hasn’t done anything for anyone and probably never will. _That’s_ the real waste of time in this house.”

Karkat slammed the door loudly behind him and got in the car. He started to drive towards Sollux’s house but knew that he’d probably have to hear his family telling him how great Kankri was, how much he cared, and similar things, so he pulled over and called Dave.

“What’s up? I actually didn’t expect you to call me so soon,” Dave admitted.

“I’m sorry,” Karkat said, trying to keep himself from crying. “Are you busy?”

“Uh, no? I’m just sitting in my dorm looking at memes, honestly. I found some good ones, though.”

“Could I actually take you up on your offer from earlier? I need somewhere to go to,” Karkat said.

“Sure, but Eridan is here.”

“I don’t give a fuck at this point.”

“Okay, I’ll get things ready for you. Do you want me to make a bed for myself on the floor? Like are you really staying all night?”

“Yeah, if that’s alright.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll see you in a little bit,” Dave said, and he sounded concerned.

Dave picked up his discarded clothes from the day and put them in a bag to wash later. He pulled Karkat’s jacket on over his pajamas and started making a second bed on the ground for himself. Eridan watched him with some interest.

“Are you having a sleepover with John or something?” He eventually asked.

Dave hated how Eridan knew all of his friends just through Dirk talking about all of them. He probably knew too much about Dave’s feelings, too. “Something like that,” Dave muttered, adjusting the pillow on the blanket. “You have to promise not to say a single word if my guest comes in here crying,” he said firmly.

“Fine, you have my word. If I pissed you off, I’m sure Dirk would ignore me for a week.”

“Good. Karkat’s staying the night.”

Eridan set his jaw. “I see.” He flipped over so he was laying on his side on his bed with his back to Dave and started texting quietly. “You guys better not have sex. I promised not to have sex in your space, so it’s a two-way street.” He put in earbuds and curled up in a ball.

Not long after, Karkat texted him saying his was outside the building. Dave padded down the hall in his socks and opened the door for him. Karkat couldn’t keep it together anymore, so he hugged Dave close and started to cry into his shoulder. Hugging back and trying to be comforting, Dave, wondered what could have happened or what could have been said to reduce him to this state. He didn’t mind staying there like that for a decent amount of time until Karkat’s sobs weren’t as violent. When he was just sniffling, Dave tentatively started to play with his hair.

“Do you want to come inside so we aren’t blocking the hall?” He asked quietly.

Karkat nodded and wiped his face on his sleeve. He looked like a mess. Dave opened the door for him and sat on his bed before patting the space next to him. After shutting the door and making sure it was locked, Karkat curled up with his head on Dave’s lap to let him pet his hair. It reminded him of his mom so much that he cried more and wished she was alive to help Kankri be more reasonable. He couldn’t seem to close his eyes, because beyond the sorrow, he was still in shock after what he’d said to him. He stared at nothing and let the tears fall slowly. His phone was muted, because the last thing he needed right then was an extended apology that didn’t actually get around to apologizing.

Dave’s phone was blowing up, meanwhile. He glanced at it to see that almost all the messages were about the pictures that were online for a brief amount of time then set it on his desk to pay full attention to Karkat. Feeling helpless and not sure what to do, he eventually made a decision. “Do you want to hear a rap song?” He asked finally. “It’s so terrible it might cheer you up some.”

“I thought you didn’t want anyone to hear them,” Karkat said quieter than his usual tone.

“I’ll make an exception for you.”

Karkat stopped crying and sat up. “I’d love to hear one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe there'll be a rap song in the next chapter? If I can figure out some words.


	12. Gay Rap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave lets Karkat listen to part of a rap song before remembering which one it is and pauses it too late.

Dave gently moved Karkat’s head so he could get up and scramble around the mess he’d shoved in the closet to hide and make the room look cleaner earlier trying to find a pair of earbuds. He’d just had them, and yet they vanished so easily. There was no way he’d risk playing his rap out loud in a place like a dorm building, because anyone could be listening. Karkat watched him while still laying on the bed, with a growing sense of amusement. When Dave accidentally toppled the whole contents of the closet into the open, he busted out laughing so loudly that Eridan glanced over his shouler and Dave froze amidst his battle with the inanimate objects to look up at him.

“Dave, it’s right fucking here,” Karkat said, gasping for air and pointing to a pair of earbuds thrown onto the desk. Somehow, he’d known that was exactly what Dave was looking for.

Dave grumbled something and shoved and kicked his stuff back into place. “Thanks.” He scooped them up and plugged them into his phone. At least Karkat was in a better mood.

Karkat took the offered earbuds and put them in his ears while Dave scrolled through his playlist to try and find a good introductory rap that wasn’t too far off the deep end. He landed on one that he couldn’t remember any terrible slip-ups and clicked on it before turning it up some. He grew increasingly nervous when Karkat sat there still as stone and listened to every word with wide eyes. Maybe it was a mistake having him listen to it.

I can’t be beat

No matter the heat.

I’ll slip in like a greased meat.

You’re an asshole.

I took a poll

And well, you’re pretty damn lame.

If you do me wrong,

It won’t be long

Til I eat your ass…

But in like, a nonsexual way.

(Fuck, that came out wrong, maybe I should start over? Nah)

Point is, you are a downright nasty bastard,

So pass the mustard.

I’ll eat this hotdog

While you struggle with mental fog.

Dave remembered which song it was a little too late and snatched the phone so quickly he almost unplugged the earbuds. He pressed pause and held his breath, wondering what Karkat would say. He shouldn’t have played it.

“That was. Damn. You have the smoothest voice I think I have ever heard in my whole motherfucking life,” Karkat said.

“Thank you.”

“But you weren’t kidding when you said you don’t have a filter. That shit was almost like porn with all the innuendos. You said greased meat, beat, long, eat your ass, and eat this hotdog within one minute. How the fuck did you not know you were gay?”

Dave laughed nervously. “I don’t know. That one’s actually one of the more mild ones.”

“Wow. I’m speechless.”

“Do you at least feel better?”

“I guess. Now I just feel like I’m going through shock,” Karkat said, running his hand through his hair.

“I think I’m going to go to bed then,” Dave said, glancing at the time.

“Are you sure you want to sleep on the fucking ground?”

“It’s whatever.” He shrugged.

“It’s your bed and I’d feel like a real douche if I made you sleep on the floor. I’ll sleep on the floor,” Karkat volunteered.

“No way, I’m a good host, so I’m not letting your sleeping body anywhere near the ground.”

“Fine, then I’m okay with you sleeping on the bed with me if you are.”

Dave stared at him for a moment before blinking.

“Unless you keep fucking staring at me. I thought I told you about this. Multiple times. You can’t go around staring at people like they’re food, except for someone you’re dating. I guess then it becomes a little more acceptable? I don’t fucking know.”

“Oh, sorry. Yeah, I’ll share the bed with you,” Dave said, hoisting his extra bedding up on top of the mattress to make a huge pile of blankets and pillows. “Hopefully you won’t drool all over me again this time.” He sat next to Karkat and pulled off his sunglasses to set them on the desk.

Karkat tried to take in the image of Dave without his stupid shades before the lights went out.

“Now who’s staring?” Dave asked with a smirk. Karkat couldn’t handle how hot he looked without his sunglasses to hide about half of the smug expression. He almost cracked and told him to kiss him right then and there but he didn’t. It was late, and he was sure there would be about a hundred texts from his father to deal with in the morning.

Dave turned off his lamp and they sunk into the dim light afterwards. Under the blankets and without anyone watching them or taking pictures that could be posted on social media as further evidence, they cuddled until they could fall asleep. Again, they were hesitant to bring it up later, but in a weird way both of them really wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short! I was spending some time with my bro.


	13. The Case of the Vanishing Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat have a very important conversation and make an entire plan for the day that gets ruined by Kankri in a roundabout way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of suicide

When Karkat opened his eyes the next morning, he forgot for a second what had happened the night before and loudly muttered, “Oh shit.” There was no way he’d done anything with Dave without remembering, but just to double check, he made sure they were both fully clothed. Then, Dave woke up and smiled at him.

“Good morning,” Dave mumbled. “How are you doing?”

“Your rap song gave me nightmares,” Karkat lied with a snort.

“I bet they were gay ass nightmares, then.” He sat up, out of Karkat’s arms. Karkat marveled at how empty his arms felt the moment Dave moved.

Eridan, watching the whole thing from over the edge of his laptop, groaned. “Goddamn, just say you want to fuck already.”

“Not everyone wants to hook up with every eligible person they meet,” Karkat stated.

“I’m in a long-term relationship,” Eridan pointed out.

“I’m sure it revolves around sex,” Dave said. “That isn’t the only important thing about a relationship. And a few weeks isn’t exactly long-term by most people’s standards.”

“Fine, let me rephrase what I said for the prudes in the room: you two should actually just say out loud that you want to date, because even I feel the frustration in the air.”

“Maybe you’re just mistaking your own feelings for ours,” Dave replied.

“This isn’t about me! It’s about you. I only want to help you, bro.”

“Don’t call me bro just because you’re dating my literal bro,” Dave grumbled.

“And maybe mind your own damn business. Is that really so fucking hard?” Karkat added, crossing his arms and standing up.

Eridan muttered something inaudible and left the room.

“I wish everyone would just drop our case,” Dave stated.

“For real. They see two men who show affections and try to force them together. Like I’m even interested in you,” Karkat said, trying to sound like he wasn’t but feeling like he was failing.

Dave didn’t know what to say, because he believed Karkat and frowned. He pulled on his sunglasses before he could see the broken look in his eyes. “Right.”

“No offense,” Karkat added, thinking he majorly upset Dave. He bit his cheek and watched Dave walk towards the closet to get dressed. Afterwards, he spent little time in the room before leaving and wouldn’t say a word.

Unsure what to do, Karkat ran down the hall after him. “Dave, wait!” He shouted loudly enough to wake up half the building.

For a second, Dave considered ignoring him so he didn’t have to see that he’d accidentally shed a tear that was still on his cheek, but then he turned. “What?”

“Come back to your dorm. Please,” Karkat said, catching up to him.

“Fine, I guess. I don’t know why I’m worth the time of day, though.”

Karkat couldn’t believe he’d hurt Dave so easily. He’d always seemed so tough and cool. Maybe he was more sensitive than he thought. He led him back to his dorm and shut the door. “Dave, you’re worth all the time I could possibly give you. I was lying because I thought we were continuing this thing where we dance around actually talking about how we’re almost a couple. I never want to hurt your feelings.” He hesitantly took off Dave’s sunglasses and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “I like you so fucking much, you have no idea.”

“I,” Dave started before shutting his mouth. “You’re my first crush.” He looked more embarrassed than anything. “Now that it’s out in the open between us, I don’t know what to do next.”

“Well, do you want to go on a date? We don’t have to make things official and call each other boyfriends yet. You can just try out what it’s like to date before you decide or some shit. Honestly, I really fucked up with my last relationship, so I’m kind of scared to start anything until we both feel comfortable about it.”

“Sounds good to me. What should we do?”

“Anything. It doesn’t exactly have to be special, unless you want it to be a memorable first date.”

“Do you want to go to the carnival?” Dave asked.

“Sure, but if we run into Gamzee, we’re ditching the place.”

“Agreed.”

Dave smiled up at him and Karkat watched it actually reach his eyes. He smiled back and hugged him. “I’m so glad we finally talked about it,” he admitted. “I know everyone was pushing for it, but I didn’t want to rush into anything.”

“Same here, and I didn’t know if you actually like me or if you were just affectionate,” Dave said.

“Do you have any work to do today?”

“Nope. What about you?”

“Probably, but I left all my shit at home and there’s no way I’m talking to Kanklemeister for at least half a day more,” Karkat growled. “We can go on that date right now, if you want to.”

Dave laughed. “That’d be awesome. Should I wear anything nicer?”

“No. I slept in my clothes, so don’t feel the need to fucking dress up for me.”

“Okay, let’s go!” Dave said, sounding excited. “It’s going to be so chill. We’re going to ride all the rides, even the lame ass ones, and maybe I’ll win one of those ridiculously huge toys at one of the rigged games.”

Karkat chuckled at his enthusiasm and went to check the time on his phone. He noticed one-hundred and nine texts from Kankri with a sigh and then saw a text from Sollux that he clicked on.

**Dude what happened last niight? Kankrii went miisiing and youre the last person who saw hiim**

**MISSING? THAT ASSHOLE VANISHED?**

**Yes. Do you have any iidea where he went? Thiis iisnt liike hiim**

**I guess I’ll check my texts from him, but I had a huge fight with him and he really pissed me off**

**Do you thiink thiis miight be liike what happened to your mom?**

**I have no fucking clue. I doubt it, though, because it isn’t like he was sneaking into government buildings to start physical coups. I’ll let you know if I figure anything out. This sucks, I was just about to go on a date with Dave**

**Fiinally**

Karkat sat on Dave’s bed and started scrolling through the texts from his dad with increasing worry. At first, he felt a lingering sense of rage and loathing when he read through the ‘apologies’ and excuses he sent. Then, he blew past the point where Kankri was revoking what he’d said about writers and Karkat completely. The very last text was the one that clued him in. It said:

**Well, if you aren’t going to accept my apology and still believe that I do nothing good with myself, I’ll prove to you that I can be a useful and productive citizen in person like I am online. I’m going to do something that you and your mother would be proud of. It really should’ve been done a long time ago. If I don’t make it back, just know that I’m sorry and I love you**

Nervously, Karkat ran a hand through his hair. Dave watched him with confusion and concern.

“Fuck,” Karkat said quietly. “FUCK.” His eyes clouded with tears. “I swear to god if he committed suicide…”

“What happened?” Dave finally asked.

“My dad went missing last night.”

“Shit, and you think he did something like that?”

“I don’t know! This isn’t like him at all. He never fucking leaves the house.” Karkat’s eyes were wide with fear. “If he did, I don’t know what I’ll do. He might be an asshole most of the time, but he’s still my dad.”

Karkat sent a screenshot of the last message to Sollux, who he assumed showed his family. He hoped they’d have more answers than he did. Dave sat next to him, feeling apprehension coming off of him in waves. In the few minutes it took Sollux to respond, Karkat started to shake slightly.

**We thiink he broke iinto someplace and got arrested, but they cant fiind any poliice reports**

**WHAT THE HELL DID HE THINK HE”D ACCOMPLISH?**

**Who knows, but iill let you know iif ii fiind out anythiing else**

Setting his phone aside before he was tempted to throw it, Karkat collapsed onto the bed with a groan.

“Do you think messaging him would be a good idea?” Dave asked.

“No, if I do that then maybe someone might come after me,” Karkat said with a note of fear in his voice.

“Then, what should we do?”

“I don’t know. Is it okay if we postpone our date, though? I’m a complete fucking train wreck right now. It reminds me so much of what happened before.”

“That’s fine. I’ll stay here with you until you find anything out,” Dave offered.

“Thanks. It might be a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this will help balance out the insane amount of fluff happening.


	14. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat wait and try to figure out what to do about Kankri's disappearance while everyone else seems to be having a ton of drama.

After sitting there anxiously for several hours, Karkat began to get even more paranoid. He kept texting Sollux throughout the time trying to figure out what to do.

**SHOULD I CHANGE MY PHONE NUMBER? DO YOU THINK THEY”LL GO AFTER ME NEXT?**

**Umm iim not sure. Lets giive iit a few days before we thiink about that**

**HELL, SHOULD I EVEN BE OUT IN PUBLIC RIGHT NOW? THERE”S NO WAY I CAN GO HOME, RIGHT?**

**We have surveiilance of your house, so you should be fine**

**WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK?**

**Kankrii wanted us two for extra securiity. Iit doesnt cover your room though**

**Does that mean you saw the entire FUCKING fight we had?**

**…yes. Iim sorry you had two go through that**

Karkat looked over at Dave who appeared to be hardcore spacing out. He nudged him until he looked like he was back mentally. “So I think I’m going to go home. Apparently Sollux’s family has an entire fucking security camera system set up there to make sure it’s safe. Do you want to come with me? I feel bad that I had to cancel our first date because of my dad.”

“Sure. I mean, it’d be nice to visit your house when I wasn’t asleep or being questioned the whole time. I wonder what your room looks like. Right now, I’m picturing zodiac and crab stuff but also maybe a little goth and some band posters.”

Laughing, Karkat wanted to tell Dave he was wrong, but he was so close to being right that he couldn’t. “Let’s go before Eridan comes back or something.”

As if he jinxed it, there was a knock on the door and Dirk walked in. He seemed shocked to find them there and not Eridan, but he quickly recovered his cool demeanor and smiled. “Do you guys know where Eridan went?” He asked.

“No?” Dave responded, picking up on some negative emotions from his bro.

“Damn, I can’t get in touch with him. I think I want to break up with him, because really this whole thing was just to make Jake jealous, which obviously backfired, because it just reassured him that he could date Tavros. Then, I decided it was okay because the sex was good, but it just hasn’t been too great lately and he’s so clingy. I get it, I’m kind of obsessive myself, but you have no idea how often he’s messaging or calling to tell me I’ve changed his life and before me he thought no one loved him. It’s too much pressure that I don’t want to deal with. But then he’ll be completely narcissistic sometimes, too, and it’s the worst.”

Dave listened to him talk and almost wanted to laugh at how ironic it was that everything Dirk couldn’t stand about Eridan included things that he also did. He supposed that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have two similar people dating, but he also realized that if Eridan was single again, who knew what could happen. Suddenly, he could hate Dave or flirt with him or be creepy as hell or jealous. He didn’t want to be around him for the breakup aftershocks. Then, glancing at Karkat, he remembered that he was going to stay with him until his dad came back or they found some news. He hoped things would blow over before he returned.

“Good luck, man,” he said. “Do you think you’ll actually move on from Jake for real after this?”

“I can try. I just need to meet a great guy, you know?”

Dave nodded. “I hope you do.”

“Thanks, bro. I’ll try to call him again and say it’s urgent. I feel like he somehow knows and is avoiding me.” Dirk walked out the room after tapping the call button.

Karkat sighed. “I wish everyone would just leave us out of their drama. It feels like we live in a stupid soap opera sometimes, I swear.”

“At least he didn’t try to get into our business like everyone else.”

“I guess that’s something.”

They walked out of the dorm building, passing Dirk who was leaving a really serious message for Eridan. Dave wondered who he could possibly date. “Do you think Nepeta would be able to figure out a good pairing for him?” He asked after they were a safe distance out of earshot.

“I don’t know, maybe. Sometimes her shipping breakthroughs are a little hit or miss. Like once she shipped me with Gamzee and I almost killed some bitch.”

“That’d be pretty damn awful. I don’t think I could handle being anywhere near him, especially in a romantic sense.”

“I think your brother might be an okay couple with Equius. He’s fucking weird to hang out with, but they’re already roommates and everything. I did think he was pretty well-matched with Eridan, but now I see that they’re way too similar in how they approach relationships to the point where it’s repulsive more than attractive.”

“Oh, I thought Equius was straight,” Dave said.

“I think he’s bi? I don’t really remember. He does seem different from Dirk’s type so far, but maybe it’s time he found a new type.”

They jumped into Karkat’s car and started to drive towards his house. The drive felt strange now that he was paranoid. He kept glancing in his rearview mirror to make sure no one was following him too closely. One time, he passed a parked cop and tensed up so much his knuckles lost all color on the steering wheel. After that, Dave gently took his hand for the rest of the drive to try and get him to calm down.

Once home, Karkat checked how much homework he had and groaned loudly. “Fuck, I have to write an entire short story tonight.” He trudged to his room with Dave behind him and his laptop under his arm. Dave noted that Karkat’s room was close to what he imagined, except it also had a lot of really amazing drawings on the walls. He looked over them and smiled.

“You’re a really good artist,” he muttered.

“Oh, thanks.” Karkat glanced at Dave before setting up his laptop and trying to figure out what the hell he was going to write for his creative writing assignment.

Dave waited quietly on the floor texting people. He was surprised to have texts from almost everyone by then. He saw Rose’s first and it didn’t seem to be about Karkat for once, so he opened it.

**I want to get to know this one girl better, but I don’t know how to approach her and pose the questions I want to ask. What should I do?**

**Maybe try to get her phone number first so you can ask not in person or something. Idk**

**Oh, good idea. I guess I can just get her number from Nepeta, since she seems to kind of be her friend. It’s strange, Nepeta is somehow friends with almost everyone. Maybe it has to do with her knack for shipping? I’ll have to look into it sometime. Thanks!**

**No problem. I’m not going to ask who it is, because I’m sure I’ll know soon enough**

Dave then noticed he had a photo from Jake and opened it. It was a picture of Tavros dressed up kind of like Roosevelt and looking extremely uncomfortable with a heart drawn around him. He felt bed for the guy and hoped that Jake wasn’t just obsessively trying to force him to be someone he wanted him to be. Then, he had some texts from Roxy about Gamzee’s latest crazy shenanigans, which had involved the carnival, so he was glad he hadn’t gone yet. Apparently, Gamzee broke in and passed out in the dark ride and everyone thought he was one of the props until one of the staff went to shut down the ride and found him. Jade was complaining about how he just needed to date Karkat already, and he didn’t even feel like telling her that was on its way to happening soon. Then there was John, who was having issues trying to decide which one of two girls he liked enough to ask out, and Jane, who asked weird details about Karkat that Dave decided not to acknowledge she’d asked. By the time he was finished reading and responding to texts, it was about an hour later, almost nighttime.

Meanwhile, Karkat felt like slamming his head through a wall, because he couldn’t figure out what to write about for once. He ended up ranting about various things until he could create a character for his story and tried to go from there only to hit a block. Then, he decided to write a gay romance story just because he was good at writing those continuously without hitting obstacles. When he finished, he frowned at the finished product but didn’t have any inspiration left. He turned it in and hoped for the best. Then, as soon as the distraction was gone, he began to worry about the situation he was in again. He wondered what would happen if he became an orphan. Even though he was legally an adult, he wasn’t in a position to get a job or deal with payments.


	15. Shrek, Robots, and Roosevelt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat gets defensive when Dave assumes he's writing smut for his assignment and hides the story he wrote from him. Then, they decide to watch a movie together to pass the time and keep him from worrying too much. Meanwhile, Sollux is trying to get used to Aradia's oddities and make sure she won't freeze up again. Tavros is then finally freed of pretending to be Roosevelt.

_He was really hot. So hot it should’ve been illegal to be so hot. No one knew where he was from or who he was beyond his appearance that could knock a god on his ass with jealousy or admiration but probably both. The mystery only added to how many people wanted him to approach them and just say he wanted to give them the time of day._

_For some reason, he chose to talk to one of the outcasts in the school who was furthest from the popularity spectrum. This guy was so out of the loop with dating and newcomers that he hadn’t even thought he could ever in a million years have a chance with the mysterious new student. When he talked to him, however, he was scared he would end up being an asshole in gorgeous disguise, like a gilded pile of shit. His hopes weren’t too high, but the moment the first word was spoken, he felt his resistance falling as he began to fall for him._

_Now, they weren’t lovers quite yet. They’d only just started to talk. Kyle soon learned that Daniel was actually a decent person, despite what so many people said about it being a tradeoff between looks and personality. He began to wonder what that meant about him, who didn’t seem to have either good looks nor a personality fit to tell anyone’s mother about. He realized after talking to the mysterious new student that it wasn’t Daniel he was learning so much about, but himself. For the first time, he began to think that maybe everything he assumed about himself was put in his head by others to maintain some sense of hierarchy._

_Daniel helped Kyle see he was valuable. Maybe he wasn’t as hot as Daniel, but if Daniel himself found him attractive, did it really matter? And maybe he was more inclined to say insults and be generally a terrible person to be around in public, but at least deep down he truly cared about his friends and loved ones. He found that, with time, he didn’t even need to lash out so much to everyone who’d been so cruel to him throughout middle school, because Daniel helped ward them off._

_They finally had their first date about a month later, and it was phenomenal. Soon, they were almost addicted to going out together. Then, there was the affection. The two boys wanted to try everything together, so they started out slow and made their way up the ladder of contact. One special day, about seven months later, they decided to have sex for the first time. The details aren’t going to be added here, because that’s just weird, smutty, and an invasion of privacy, but use your imagination. The most important part is that it was fantastic. Afterwards, in their satisfaction with each other’s company, they didn’t feel the need to show affection and attention to each other so feverishly anymore and spent many days together just doing simple things like getting tea and looking at the stars._

Karkat looked over his story again after turning it in. He hoped he wouldn’t get in trouble for using some mild language that came naturally. His teacher did always stress maintaining a comfortable style when writing. When Dave leaned over to read what he was glancing over one last time nervously, Karkat felt defensive and hid it.

“I think I just saw the word ‘smutty’ and now I’m not sure if you’re writing for class or some secret online smut account. Do you have one of those?”

“What? No, of course I don’t have one of those. I’m not a fucking perv like you are.” He shut his laptop.

“I’m not the one who started to like this perv,” Dave pointed out.

“I can decide that I don’t at any moment.” Karkat crossed his arms.

“Please tell me you just didn’t submit smut for an assignment.”

“Fuck no! Why would I ever do that?”

“Then what was it?” Dave asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Gay romance,” Karkat said quickly.

“I guess I won’t pry since I only just felt comfortable letting you hear one of my songs. It probably hasn’t been long enough since you wrote it for you to want me to see it.”

Karkat nodded and relaxed his grip on his laptop.

“So, if Kankri doesn’t say anything or come back, are you just going to keep going to school like normal until Sollux says it’s too dangerous?” Dave asked.

“It’s all I can do. I have some fucking ridiculously high standards I’ve set for my grades that I need to keep up, no matter what.”

“Well, I’ll be here for you. Only partially because I’m worried it’ll be living hell sharing a dorm with Eridan while he gets over a breakup with my bro,” Dave promised with a sigh.

“Oh, yeah that’d be even shittier than usual interactions with him. He’d either be weepy or flirty or both. I’ve seen him be both before, and it’s a really uncomfortable place to be. I could use the company, I’m sure.” His lips twitched into a smile.

“What do you want to do until it’s time to go to sleep?”

“We could watch a movie,” Karkat suggested, “or play videogames, but I’m very aggressive with any competitive ones, or we could talk, I guess. I’m not sure I could hold a whole conversation right now, but I’ll try not to crash if that’s what you want to do.”

“Watching a movie sounds nice, especially if you might fall asleep. I hope you have some ironically funny ones.”

“I don’t really know what you mean by that, but you can look through the collection. There’s a whole section dedicated to Kankri’s movies that we can just avoid because they’re all either rated G or documentaries about random shit.”

Karkat led Dave to the movies and he scoured through them for several minutes before picking Shrek. It was always a classic that he could get behind, no matter how many times he’d seen it before. Laughing, Karkat admitted that he’d forgotten he even had it. Dave put it in the player and got everything ready while Karkat settled down on the couch. Then, he sat next to him and propped his feet up to relax.

Somehow, after acknowledging that they were romantically interested in each other, it was more difficult to freely show affection. Dave kept glancing at Karkat and wondering what was acceptable. He finally just asked if he could hold his hand.

“Of course you can. Damn, Dave, you look really scared that I’ll deny you the right to hold my hand. Even if I said no, I wouldn’t be a douche about it, I promise.” He took Dave’s hand in his and rested them on his leg. He had to remind himself that all of it was new to Dave, so it wasn’t his fault if he accidentally repeated mistakes Karkat had gotten through during his previous experiences with dating.

Karkat fell asleep halfway through the movie and didn’t wake up until Dave busted out laughing. He then jumped awake and glared at him half-heartedly before leaning on him and falling back asleep. Once the movie was over, Dave fell asleep too and cuddled him drowsily.

Sollux saw his best friend snuggling with the boy he liked so much and smiled. He was glad things were working out between them so far, even with all the other chaotic stuff going on. Refusing to be jealous, he focused on making regular checks on Aradia’s functionality. After the paralysis incident, she seemed fairly normal. Just in case, he had Equius on speed-dial. The only unnerving thing about her was her tendency to just stand there and observe what was happening around her with a blank expression.

“Do you thiink I-I should enroll you iin classes?” He asked her, sitting on his rolling desk chair in front of her and trying to get her to snap out of whatever daze she was in.

“That could be really fun!” She said, and he hated how programmed her enthusiasm sounded. It made him question if he had forced her to be happy and if she could truly be experiencing a positive existence if she was programmed to be excited. He didn’t like to think about it, because it hurt his head and made him feel guilty.

“My moms should be able two get documents for you,” he said optimistically with a smile. “What do you thiink you want two major iin?”

“Maybe archaeological anthropology. I think that burial practices of ancient cultures would be interesting to learn about,” she said with an uncanny amount of excitement.

“How do you even know about that?” He asked, genuinely fascinated by her collection of information beyond what he’d given her.

“I was talking to some other students about dead people,” she said nonchalantly.

“Iinterestiing.” He made a note on a piece of paper before taking off his glasses and stretching. “Okay, I-I’m tiired. Do you need two recharge?”

“Nope, I should be fine for now. I’ll just watch,” she said with a smile.

“Riight. I-I guess that’s fiine, but iif I-I have trouble sleepiing you’ll have two stop.”

Jake frowned. “No, something isn’t right here. Your tie is falling off.”

“Uh… I think maybe it might be because I kind of have been wearing this outfit for, uh, several days. You said it never gets old, so I thought you wanted me to keep it on.” Tavros nervously fidgeted with his hands.

“Goodness, you don’t have to try so hard to make me happy. I only asked you to try it on as a joke and found it delightful. The only reason I pointed out the tie is that if you’re going to go for the look, you might as well do it correctly.”

“Does that mean I can maybe wear my usual clothes now?”

“Yes, please do. Even as a joke, this feels like it’s run its course. I’m tired of it. You aren’t like him personality wise, so it doesn’t make as much sense,” Jake muttered, helping Tavros take off the tie and glasses and make his hair messy and more like it was when he’d first met him. He considered him for several seconds. “You are attractive like this,” he finally said with a nod.

“Oh, um thanks. Can you help me get dressed? I can do it by myself, but uh, it takes forever.” He frowned.

“No worries, I’ll help you become yourself again in a jiffy.” Jake went around the room gathering Tavros’ clothes and brought them to him. He then helped him change so it wouldn’t take as long, and once they were done, Tavros looked up at him for approval. “Much better. Now, have you written your speech yet? You can test it out on me.”

“Yes, I have actually. It’s um, kind of short though.”

“Short speeches can sometimes be the most powerful. You won’t lose your audience’s attention, at least,” Jake said with an encouraging smile.

“Hey, that’s actually really smart of you to think that. Here it is. Even when the world constantly tells you to suppress who you are to pretend you aren’t so awkward and terrible, it still reminds you that you are awkward and terrible to begin with, so it’s uh only the world reinforcing self-deprecation.”

Jake stared at him, expecting there to be more. Then, he realized that was it and tried to seem impressed for Tavros’ sake. He knew he’d spent a long time writing it. “I’m sure it’ll help someone gain another ounce of self-esteem,” he said with a thumbs up and a wink.

“Thanks. Uh, do you really think so?”

“Yes, of course. The only suggestion I have is to maybe break it up into a few sentences instead of one continuous thought like that. It might help you keep from rushing through it without taking any pauses to breathe.”

“Oh, you’re so right! I’ll get right on that.”

Jake kissed him lightly on the cheek. “I’m going to study for my test coming up, but I’ll be here if you need me to listen to any new changes.”

“Alright. You’re the best.” Tavros opened up a laptop and started to stare at what he’d typed, trying to decide where to add punctuation.


	16. Carnival Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up with a mysterious new family member in his house, Karkat decides to take Dave on their first date at the carnival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a later than usual update, but this one is really long. :)

Karkat woke to the smell of breakfast foods cooking and worried for a second that Dave had decided to make breakfast for him. He didn’t want Dave to feel obligated to be the equivalent to a gay housewife by any means, so he was about to jump up and tell him to please stop when he realized Dave was still right there cuddling into him. His heart stopped with fear, and he thought about the possibility of an intruder cooking food in his home. He checked his phone for any warning texts from Sollux but found none. Maybe he had been asleep when whoever it was broke in.

Gently sliding out of Dave’s arms, Karkat made sure he looked like he was in a comfortable position on the couch before padding quietly in his socks towards the kitchen. He was fully prepared to beat someone up until he entered the kitchen and found someone who he swore looked exactly like his dad from behind, except he dressed completely different and maybe was a little bit taller. Karkat stopped, shocked, and took in this stranger who was familiar yet peculiar. He wore a ballcap over his black hair, and it was cocked to the side slightly, but not enough to be like a gangster or something. It almost looked more like he had accidentally hit it on something and knocked it off center and hadn’t fixed it. He also wore a navy t-shirt with a button-up under it and the collar pulled up through the t-shirt. Then, he had baggy black joggers and combat boots on. He hummed quietly while flipping what smelled like an omelet.

“Hello? What are you doing in my fucking house?” Karkat demanded.

The man spun around and smiled at him. Karkat knew instantly that there was no way this man was Kankri in any shape or form because his entire demeanor and face shape was different. “I wanted to spend time with my favorite nephew,” he said quietly.

“Nephew?”

“Of course. Do you mean to tell me that the Kan-man didn’t even tell you about me? That’s cruel.” He frowned and went back to cooking. “I’m Kankri’s older brother Karkaz, but you can just call me Uncle Kaz.”

“Wait. I had an uncle this entire time and that asshole didn’t even tell me?”

“I guess so.”

“Typical. I can’t believe the level of terrible he can be sometimes.”

“I know right? Anyway, enough about him. Is that your boyfriend in the other room?” Kaz asked, raising and lowering his eyebrows.

“No, I mean maybe. Fuck, kind of. We haven’t gone on a date yet because my dad had to vanish into thin air and make me worry,” Karkat complained, crossing his arms.

“He’s fine, I assure you. He’s just sleeping because he drove all night. I’m sure you’d be able to go on a date today. He’ll probably be asleep for a long time before deciding to make a big speech about why he brought us together and how he wants to make amends in our family.”

“I’m sure he will. What did you do to piss him off?”

“Exist? He never really liked me.”

Kaz served a plate of the most delicious looking omelet Karkat had ever seen. “Are you a professional cook or something?”

“No, I’ve just lived by myself for a while.”

Karkat started eating and wondered when Dave would finally wake up. He wanted to let him try the amazing omelet. Kaz stayed quiet after that while he cooked another. It was interesting to find that someone Karkat was related to could be so quiet and soft-spoken. He supposed that was what happened when your younger sibling was always talking. He already felt comfortable around his uncle, so he started to jot down some notes for his story while eating. Kankri would’ve thrown a fit if he’d done that in front of him, but his uncle didn’t mention it.

“Woah, I don’t think I can handle another guy who looks like a weird older version of you,” Dave grumbled when he entered. Kaz glanced at him and smiled.

“I’m Karkat’s Uncle Kaz,” he said.

“Dave,” he responded tiredly. He obviously wasn’t fully awake yet. “Does this mean assholekri is back?”

“Yes, unfortunately,” Kaz muttered. He served the second omelet for Dave.

“I can’t believe we thought he had gotten arrested or worse,” Dave said, “when all he was doing was meeting up with his brother.”

“Yeah, I have some things I want to say to the douche,” Karkat said. “He made me scared he’d be like my mom.”

Kaz left the room to go do something else and to leave them together. Dave ate and commented on how good the food was compared to what he was used to. Karkat could only agree and then fall into an uncharacteristic thoughtful silence. He couldn’t figure out why Kankri hated his brother so much. Once he was done, he tried to hide how confused he was with excitement.

“Hey, do you want to go on that date today?”

“Sure! I heard that Gamzee already got kicked out, so we shouldn’t have to worry about an appearance from him to ruin our time.”

“That’s good. I don’t think I could deal with that clown right now. He’s probably busy playing games on his gold-plated xbox or some shit while being high off his ass, getting all kinds of milk and soda on the controller and everything. I don’t think there is anyone on the face of the earth who is more gross than him.”

“Yikes, yeah that sounds pretty damn nasty, and not in a cool way. He’s disgusting. Both because he’s rich as hell and has no sense of personal hygiene.”

“Imagine being so rich you could buy the entire fucking state if you wanted to but instead you just wore the same outfit all the time.”

“Wow.” Dave started to think about how that lifestyle would affect the economy, and Karkat could tell that’s where it was going, so he interrupted his thoughts.

“We should go ahead and get dressed so we can catch it before the lines get too long,” Karkat said quickly. He didn’t want to have yet another conversation with Dave about the economy. He knew he was an Econ major, but he couldn’t understand why he thought it was all so important on a personal level.

After taking turns getting dressed in Karkat’s room (now that they knew that’s the only gap in the camera feed, they were careful not to change anywhere else), they got in Karkat’s car and started to drive towards the carnival. With Depeche Mode quietly playing as background music to their conversation, they discussed which rides to go on in which order. Dave wanted to do the haunted dark ride first, and Karkat, who wouldn’t admit that he was scared to go on it, said he’d rather go on the zero-gravity ride. Dave, with unannounced extreme motion sickness and a fear that his sunglasses would be lost forever, asked if there was something else he’d rather do. After bickering and coming to compromises, they decided on the Ferris wheel to be their first ride, since it wasn’t scary or fast-moving. Each promised to ride the other’s first pick later in the day with some reluctance.

The line for the Ferris wheel was really short, with only two couples in front of them, so they were on it after only about a ten minute wait. Dave walked inside and sat down at one end to give Karkat enough room to sit with him. Then, the attendant shut the cage-like top of the car and they rocked back and forth slightly. Puffing out his cheeks with panic, Dave hoped he wouldn’t puke on his first date. That would be so embarrassing. The ride made him nervous, so he scooted closer to Karkat.

“Dude, chill out,” Karkat said, seeing Dave’s hand physically shaking on the bar across their laps.

“I’m scared of heights,” Dave admitted.

“Hell, so am I, but this seems to be a safe ride to me. Just don’t focus on outside.”

“How am I supposed to do that when it’s right there?”

“I’m also right here,” Karkat said.

Dave fell silent and fought a blush. The space suddenly felt incredibly small with Karkat sitting only inches away. He sat light that for the next minute or so until Karkat carefully took his hand. Dave stared at their hands then at Karkat’s face.

“This is the only time you’re allowed to stare at me like that blatantly to my face,” Karkat said in a fake grouchy tone. “The ride’s almost over.”

“Can we go on the rollercoaster after this?” Dave asked.

“I thought you were scared of heights.”

“Rollercoasters don’t bother me because there’s a track right under you.”

“They freak me out more than this does, but I’ll do it since you did this, I guess. If I’m too shaky when I get off, you’re fucking carrying me though.”

“I can try, but you’re pretty tall. We might both fall over.”

“That’d be pretty damn hilarious,” Karkat said with a grin. He held Dave’s hand and pulled him towards the rollercoaster.

The line for the ride was much longer than the previous one, so they waited impatiently. Dave frowned at Karkat.

“We can go to another ride first,” he finally said after waiting for several minutes.

“But we’ve already been here this long. It’ll probably only get worse later,” Karkat grumbled.

“You might chicken out at the front of the line anyway,” Dave teased.

“No fucking way am I doing that. I’ve decided I’m doing this no matter what.”

“What if the ride broke down and then they fixed it and we were the first to get on?”

“Don’t even bring that shit up. If I do this, then you’re obligated to go on the zero-gravity ride with me, so I’m going to do it.”

“Why do you want me to ride it so badly?” Dave groaned.

“Because it’s the best.”

“My glasses will fly off.”

“Then hold them on. It’s not that hard.”

“What if I get sick?”

“So what if you do? It’s one of those times where people don’t give a damn if you get sick,” Karkat stated.

The line had moved up a little bit by the time they stopped arguing and teasing each other. Dave leaned back on Karkat’s chest with his arms crossed, and Karkat didn’t know how to react so he just stood there looking around. Then the line moved again, and Dave walked forward. Karkat assumed this was another one of those weird moments they wouldn’t bring up. He didn’t really know what Dave expected him to do, or what his boundaries even were.

Finally, they got to the front of the line, and the ride hadn’t shut down or anything. Karkat was terrified, but he wasn’t about to let Dave know that. He got on first and let Dave get in on the other side. When he held Dave’s hand, however, he found that Dave was shaking slightly and felt better about being scared. After a few terrifying moments, the ride took off and instantly the car dropped off of a huge platform.

“FUUUUUCK!” Karkat screamed. He gripped Dave’s hand so hard it started to turn weird colors. Then, he shut his eyes with a whimper.

Dave, meanwhile, happened to be one of those guys who laughs the whole time on a rollercoaster. He was too busy laugh screaming and holding onto his sunglasses to notice Karkat scrunching up his entire face and willing it to just be over. After about three minutes, it pulled back into the station. Karkat couldn’t believe the ride was so long. He wobbled a little when he got off but didn’t make Dave carry him. He was too excited for what was coming next.

The line for the zero-gravity spinning ride was really short, probably because so many people could ride at once, and they were able to board after only a minute. Dave walked in hesitantly. The room was completely dark, only lit by a few LED lights. The operator sat in the middle of the room in a little separate compartment. Karkat immediately went where the guy couldn’t see him and pulled Dave close. Dave’s eyes widened.

“Is this okay? I’ve always wanted to try this,” Karkat said, holding Dave in one of the compartments with his back to the wall.

“Sure, just hope I don’t puke on you,” Dave muttered. He was already holding his shades in place nervously. He could feel Karkat’s heart beating quickly. They fastened the rope across the space and waited. Dave tried to place his head in a comfortable position against Karkat’s chest but ended up tucking it into his neck instead.

Then, the ride started, and Dave felt his body press into Karkat’s. He was worried he’d hurt him, but Karkat didn’t say anything, just held him. Karkat could hardly breathe, but he didn’t mind. It was a completely new sensation being so close to Dave. Once the ride was over, he made sure Dave didn’t fall to the ground and smiled at him. Dave didn’t look or feel nearly as queasy as expected, and he smiled back.

“Let’s do the haunted dark ride now,” Dave said.

“Fine,” Karkat grumbled.

“It’ll be great, I promise. The animatronics are probably really stupid looking anyway. I doubt you’ll actually get scared.”

Karkat didn’t say anything else as Dave led him towards the large building that housed the dark ride. There wasn’t anyone in line, which unnerved him slightly. He hoped it was just so lame that no one wanted to ride it. The person checking seatbelts and stuff gave them an odd look when Dave practically skipped inside with sunglasses on leading Karkat by the hand. She made sure they were securely in their seats before giving them a thumbs up and letting the ride go.

They were plunged into darkness, and Karkat automatically tensed up. The ride took at least two turns before something was lit up as a sort of jump scare.

“What is that even supposed to be?” Karkat screamed. It looked like a piece of rotten meat on a chain that may or may not have had some kind of face.

“I don’t fucking know,” Dave said, laughing already.

“Can you even see? You’re still wearing those stupid sunglasses.”

“Yeah, I can see. I wouldn’t want to miss the expression on your face when we see a clown.”

“Shit, let me out right now,” Karkat shouted, threatening to climb out.

Something swung down from the ceiling and hit him on the head as he was standing up to get out. He fell back down onto the cart with a grunt. Dave started laughing harder, but he held Karkat’s hand to try and calm him down some.

“I doubt there’ll be many clowns. They usually only have ghosts and weird monsters on these rides.”

“Whatever. If there’s a clown, I’m going to be pissed.”

They rounded another turn and there was a witch cackling over a cauldron. Karkat was unimpressed and not scared at all. Then, during a stretch of darkness, he saw something off to the side that looked like it was being lit by a phone flashlight rather than the special effects lighting elsewhere. His blood froze. It was a clown. He squeezed Dave’s hand and began to breathe quicker, willing the cart to move faster.

“Damn, isn’t that Gamzee? I thought they kicked him out for good,” Dave said with a sigh.

Gamzee waved at them with a lazy smile. He was just sitting in the dark with clown makeup on drinking something and watching videos on his phone with the flashlight accidentally left on. “Bros, if you don’t tell anyone I’m here, we can motherfucking chill together sometime. This is like my spot now. It’s pretty great.”

“Fuck you. You know I hate clowns,” Karkat shouted and flipped him off. Dave thought he saw Gamzee frown before the cart rounded another corner.

The ride made it seem like they were going to be hit by a car before swerving towards a fake werewolf who snarled at them and tried to swat at Dave. He didn’t even flinch, and Karkat couldn’t tell whether Dave was brave or blind in that moment. Finally, the ride was over and they got off. Karkat was tempted to tell the person running it that Gamzee had somehow snuck back in, but he decided he didn’t want to see the guy’s bad side.

“Next, can I try some of the rigged games?” Dave asked with an excited glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, but don’t expect to win anything.”

“I’m going to do one of those baseball ones.”

“Go for it.”

Karkat watched Dave pay and grab a baseball, preparing to launch it at the bottles. He didn’t expect anything to happen, if Dave even had good enough aim which he doubted too. Not that he didn’t believe in Dave, but he didn’t exactly seem like the athletic type. Dave meanwhile shut one eye and looked at the bottles with his tongue out, figuring out the perfect angle to hit it even if they were stuck in place. He threw the ball with as much strength as he could muster and it hit the bottles so hard that some paint came off of the table under them when they fell.

A dumbstruck gamemaster set the bottles back up. “You can take a small prize or try again to get an even bigger prize.”

“I’ll take my chances.” Dave held up his second try. “I want to get my money’s worth, and I paid for three shots.”

Karkat watched Dave with renewed interest, wondering if it had just been a fluke that he’d won to make him cocky enough to try again and lose. Dave threw the second ball and knocked them down again with a smug look on his face.

“Are you cheating?” The man blatantly asked.

“How would I be cheating?” Dave asked, waiting for the bottles to be set up again.

The last throw also knocked them over and actually sent them toppling off of the table completely. The bewildered gamemaster let Dave pick one of the ridiculously big prizes. He spent several minutes debating which of the five toys to get before deciding on a giant crab.

“For you,” Dave said with a triumphant smile, handing the crab to Karkat.

“How did you do that?”

“I texted Dirk and had him build me a little device that goes in the palm of my hand way back when the carnival first set up. It launches the ball much harder than any person could and it’s hard to see.” Dave held up his palm to show Karkat. He thought about it and realized that Dave hadn’t held his hand with that side the entire time they’d been there.

“How long have you been wearing that thing?”

“Since this morning. When I got changed, I put it on.”

“You really wanted to win.” Karkat hugged the crab toy.

“Did you see the look on that guy’s face? Fucking priceless. I’ll have to tell Dirk it worked.” He took off the device and put it in his jacket pocket before texting his brother.

“Thanks for the crab, by the way.”

“No problem. Should we grab some food?” Dave looked up and put his phone away.

“Hell yes, I want a funnel cake.”

“Oh me too, those things are so good.”

They ordered a funnel cake, some pretzels, and drinks and sat down to eat. It was almost already evening.

“What should we do after this?” Karkat asked, loudly drinking through a straw.

“We should ironically ride some kid rides,” Dave said with a smirk.

“Okay, I guess that’d be cool. At least they won’t make us as sick after eating.” Karkat didn’t really understand Dave’s irony, but he was willing to do anything to make the date last longer.

After eating all of their food, Dave practically skipped over to the first ride that just had frogs spinning slowly in a circle. They both looked way to big for the ride, but no one questioned it when they got in line and waited to board one of the amphibians. Karkat rolled his eyes multiple times.

“Are you sure you aren’t actually excited for these rides?” He finally asked.

“I’m ironically excited,” Dave said, adjusting his sunglasses and trying to look cool.

“You’re such a fucking dork sometimes.” Karkat couldn’t help but smile at how ridiculous Dave was being.

In the frog, Dave calmed down some and even frowned a little. “Okay, this isn’t as cool or funny as I thought it would be. What if we get stuck in the ride or something?”

“I don’t know, maybe we’ll just be stuck in this lame kiddy ride for the rest of our lives.”

“This was a bad idea,” Dave admitted, wanting the ride to stop. His hip was jammed into the side painfully and he felt way too close to Karkat. It wasn’t the comfortable type of close like he’d felt in the spinning zero-gravity ride, it was more painful like bone grinding against bone.

The ride finally ended, and Dave had to pull himself out for Karkat to get off. They felt sore as they walked back towards the car. Once inside, Karkat looked at Dave expectantly while he turned the key.

“So, how was that?” Karkat asked.

“It was great!” Dave smiled at him. The crab was sitting in the backseat because it was too big to fit up front with them.

“Do you think you’ll want to have another date, then?”

“Definitely. We’ll do so much stuff together.”

“Do you feel okay with me calling you my boyfriend now?” Karkat asked, sounding nervous.

Dave thought about that for a bit. “Yes,” he said decisively.

“Fuck yes!” Karkat shouted triumphantly.


	17. Karkat Just Wants to Have Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting home to another not great episode with Kankri (feat. Uncle Kaz), Karkat climbs out of his window to go meet Dave and save him from having to deal with a moping Eridan in his dorm.

After the date, Karkat dropped Dave off at his dorm. He parked his car near the curb and got out to give him a big hug that somehow felt different than hugging him before had felt. Dave, meanwhile, was in shock. He couldn’t believe he was actually doing it, and he felt so cool and wondered if people would notice a physical difference because he felt like a changed man. He hugged Karkat back and nuzzled his face into his neck.

“Thanks for the ridiculously giant crab,” Karkat said with a grin.

“Thanks for the date.”

“Anytime. Seriously, call me at three in the fucking morning and I’ll be there.”

“You never know, I might.”

Karkat couldn’t stop smiling. His face was starting to hurt from the strain of smiling so much after an extended period of not. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

“Bye,” Dave replied with a smile of his own that Karkat found too adorable. He wanted to poke his dimples so badly but restrained himself and just waved before ducking into his car.

The drive home after dropping Dave off was the most extended moment of joy Karkat could remember feeling. He skipped to only the more romantic Depeche Mode songs and belted the lyrics out, tapping the wheel and grinning and everything. He had it so bad and was determined he wouldn’t make a dumb mistake and ruin what he finally had. As if to remind himself that it had actually happened, he kept checking his rearview mirror to see the crab in the backseat smiling at him. He couldn’t believe he actually had a boyfriend. On several occasions during the drive, he actually squealed with excitement.

Karkat was so excited about recent developments that he’d completely forgotten about Kankri wanting to talk to him after his ridiculous disappearance, featuring Uncle Kaz. He pulled into the driveway and hummed his entire way up to the door. Once inside, he planned on making a direct line to his room to text Dave until he passed out, but that plan was shattered the moment he found Kankri and Uncle Kaz sitting at the dinner table with a decidedly better looking and smelling meal than what his father had cooked last time they had a talk. Karkat didn’t know it was possible for his spirits to crash to fast, but he stood there and his smile dropped and dread and anger settled in his stomach. He didn’t even sit down, just gripped the chair for support and glared at his father.

“You can’t just leave like that with a vague text saying you might not fucking see me again,” Karkat said in an accusatory tone. “I was worried you were going to…do something really terrible to yourself.”

Kankri stared back at Karkat in confusion. “I apologize, I didn’t realize my text wasn’t clear enough. I was really focused on trying to fix things with you, because what good am I at defending victims of society when I made my own son a victim of my outburst? The only way I could think to make up with you was to first make up with my brother, whom I heard you already met. He’s a semi-famous author, and although I still think he could do more with his gift of written word, I respect his career choice. I thought maybe if you met another writer, it might help you gain confidence in your future, after I so egregiously disowned you. Do you know how strange it’d look if I tried to teach a succulent? Or even talk to one, for that matter. Without my son, I’m sure my work would be lost. Karkat, you taught me that I should trust you to be who you are. If that includes being a writer, so be it. Also, if you really want to date Dave, I would love to support you.”

“Thanks, I guess. Maybe an actual fucking apology would’ve done just fine. I don’t need your performative acts of ‘fixing’ things. You said some pretty hurtful things to me, and I don’t think starting a family reunion really helps me feel better. Just seeing you kind of ruined my fucking day, you asshole. I was so worried about you and thought I was about to be killed any moment for the whole time you were gone. Most people, when they want to make up with someone they’ve hurt, will actually be there for them. You made it pretty damn clear you regret my very existence, and if you only want me around so your work is immortalized, that’s fucked up. Also, I already ate dinner, because I was on a date with Dave. I don’t need your approval to do anything. I’m a fucking adult, for christ sake. Most people my age only partake of hookups, so you’re lucky I’m actually being a gentleman. Guess you taught me something useful among all the garbage you tell me on a daily basis, unless I just learned it from watching movies.” Karkat was breathing heavily by the time he had all of that out.

Uncle Kaz just stayed quiet. He seemed used to letting Kankri take the floor, although it was clear they hadn’t spoken for a long while. He almost looked like his mind was zoning out to another country. Karkat didn’t blame him. Even he didn’t want to be there, and the conversation was supposed to help him. Kankri let his words sink in.

“Are you saying I failed as a parent?” He finally asked, looking up at Karkat.

Karkat sucked in a breath. He didn’t know how to respond to that. Kankri looked almost genuinely hurt for the first time Karkat could remember. He wondered if maybe he did care, somewhere under his righteousness. Then, he shook the thought away and scowled. “Yes. But until I move out, you have the chance to make it up to me. You have two years.” He then smiled sympathetically at Uncle Kaz. He decided he’d talk to him later, preferably without Kankri around.

While Kankri sat in shock, Karkat released the back of the chair that not had faint indentations from his grip and went to his room, locking the door behind him. He sat on his bed and felt even more frustrated that his father had to ruin his mood like that. He’d been having such a wonderful day, and not all he wanted to do was scream into a pillow or take a shower, maybe even both. Then, he saw that he had a text from Dave.

**hey, today was amazing, just wanted to say that again. Also, Eridan is really fucking unbearable rn. I hope things are chill at home, didn’t the Grand Asshole want to talk to you or something? If things are bad again, you can come over and we can make a blanket fort to shut out Eridan or some shit. Scratch that, I sound needy as fuck but can you come over?**

Karkat’s heart fluttered while he read the text. He suddenly didn’t know what to do if Dave wanted him to spend the night. It wasn’t so chaste for people dating to sleep in the same bed, right? He frowned. Maybe Dave didn’t actually want him to spend the night this time. Making a blanket fort with Dave did sound fun and possibly hilarious, and maybe they could watch a movie together again. Not wanting to deal with Kankri again, he climbed out the window. It was starting to feel like a classic romance movie, which he was kind of digging. He got in his car and drove to Dave’s dorm. The drive felt like it was unusually quick.

After parking, Karkat practically ran to the door of Dave’s dorm building before remembering he needed Dave to let him in. Luckily, Dave was already waiting outside for him.

“Hey, thanks for coming. I know it isn’t 3 am like you hoped for,” Dave said with a small smirk. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, and Karkat was sure he was already about to melt from how hot he looked, after the initial moment of being completely startled that he was just standing there in the shadows.

“You fucking scared me,” Karkat whined.

“You know what they say about fear and romance,” Dave said, unlocking the door.

“What? No I don’t.”

“There’s a reason people supposedly watch scary movies on dates. I think it has to do with adrenaline or maybe just makes people get closer out of fear. Maybe I’m reading into it too much like some kids book where the door is blue without it meaning anything, yet I think it means sadness or some shit because I’m reading it like an English teacher. I thought it created some feeling like sexual attraction? I don’t know where I heard that. Could’ve just been Dirk trying to mess with me.” He shrugged.

“Oh, so you wanted to turn me on by jumping out of the shadows and saying ‘hey’? What a charmer,” Karkat said sarcastically, following Dave to his dorm.

Dave blushed and spluttered. “I’m not trying to turn you on,” he said in a rush, feeling embarrassed. “We only just held hands.”

“In some people’s books, we’d already be acting like rabbits. I respect that you don’t think that we need to build up to that slowly, because I think that it would honestly weird me the fuck out if you already wanted to do _that_.”

“Yeah, I’m not my brother,” Dave said with a sigh. “Speaking of which, I don’t know what it’s going to be like with both of us and Eridan in there. He might get pissed as hell that we’re a couple now that he had his breakup.”

“If he’s mopey and horny, I’m going to jump out the window,” Karkat promised. “Last time he acted like that towards me, I told myself I’d never interact with him again, but I guess that’s hard to do when the fucking hottest man alive lives in the same room as him.”

Dave couldn’t tell if Karkat was joking with his exaggerated compliment or not, so instead of acknowledging it, he blushed more. Apparently, it was the night of not being able to control the level of blood in his face. He opened the door to find Eridan hanging upside down from his bed with his head slumped at an uncomfortable angle on the floor.

“Ugh why are you here too?” Eridan groaned, staring at Karkat without his glasses on. “Even with fucked vision, I can tell it’s you, Karkat. You just have this air about you. Anyone ever tell you that? It’s kind of terrifying and maybe a touch alluring.”

“You aren’t allowed to talk to him like that, even when you’re upset or whatever,” Dave said protectively.

“Why is he here?” Eridan asked again more directly, looking at Dave instead.

“Because I didn’t want to deal with your shit all night. We’re building a fort and avoiding you while you get over whatever you’re going through,” Dave stated.

“Instead of avoiding me, maybe you should like help me through this? Your brother was the one who screwed me over, after all,” Eridan huffed, crossing his arms. He had obviously been crying not long before.

“I’m not going to be the one to make up for my brother’s actions, thank you very fucking much. That sounds like an absolute nightmare. He messes up a lot of stuff with tons of people.”

“Well you better not be doing shitty coupley things while I’m going through this heartbreak, unless… Do you guys want to have sex with me?” He asked, perking up and sitting upright.

Dave set his jaw. He didn’t know what to say to his roommate without shouting any number of insults and tangents at him about how wrong that was to ask on so many different levels.

“Absolutely fucking not,” Karkat shouted for Dave instead. “Just because you’re going through something stupid doesn’t mean you have to commission the nearest person or people to have sex with you. You must be really fucked with how you view relationships if the only way to make yourself feel better after a breakup is to have sex with another couple. We definitely aren’t doing any shit like that. We’re planning on building a blanket barricade and then snuggling and watching a movie in a cute, wholesome, affectionate way as a coping mechanism for you and my father being assholes and ruining a perfectly great day. Take your disgusting self elsewhere.”

Eridan blinked once, letting it sink in, and actually grabbed his glasses and left the room. Dave was shocked. He’d never seen him vacate the premises so quickly before, so Karkat must’ve really gotten to him.

“While he’s gone, because who knows when he’ll come back,” Dave started, “we should make some progress on this planned fort. Fortunately for us, I packed a million blankets for college. Someone told me it was way colder here than where I grew up, so I went overboard, forgetting that heaters were a thing.” He pulled out a box full of different blankets and bedding.

Karkat snorted. “You would forget that heaters exist, you weirdo.”

“Hey, where I’m from, it’s always at least 70 outside,” Dave defended, taking out the materials they had to work with.

Deciding to drop it, Karkat rolled his eyes and helped Dave spread out the blankets. “Since we’re here alone, can you please ditch those shitty shades?”

“They aren’t shitty, man. These things are worth more than my life.”

“Whatever. Can they sit on your fucking dresser like a valuable artifact instead of on your face?”

“Fine,” Dave said with a sigh and a smirk. He slid them off and set them down. “You must really like my eyes.”

“No comment,” Karkat muttered. He pinned one of the blankets to the wall with a pushpin.

It took about half an hour to make a decent barrier down the middle of the room and longer to build a tunnel to the door. Then, they draped one last blanket across the top to make it feel like an enclosed space. Dave crawled inside in his pajamas and smiled triumphantly. Karkat grumbled that he was still in skinny jeans.

“You can borrow some of my pajamas, if you want,” Dave offered.

“No thanks, you’re way shorter than me.”

“Yeah right. I’m only like two inches shorter than you.”

“Try five,” Karkat said with a chuckle. “Seriously, I think you’re below average height.”

“No, I’m literally 5’7”. That’s not that short,” Dave said defensively.

“The average height is 5’9”, last I checked,” Karkat said with a smirk. “I’m six foot exactly.”

“Why do you have to be so fucking tall?” Dave grumbled, curling up on the floor. Without his sunglasses, Karkat could see the full pout in effect and it was way too adorable. He didn’t restrain himself and poked his cheek.

Dave blushed and stuck his tongue out at Karkat.

“Wow, so we built a blanket fort and now you’re a fucking toddler?” Karkat sat back on his feet. “I’m sure you have a thing for guys who are taller than you or something, so it all works out.”

“Does that mean you find shortness attractive?” Dave retorted.

“Actually, yes,” Karkat said without hesitation.

Dave scoffed but started to smile. “Want to watch a movie?” He asked.

“Sure, but please can it not be an ironic masterpiece this time?” Karkat asked.

“First no shades, now no ironic movie? This date keeps getting worse,” Dave complained.

“Wait, you’re counting this as another date?”

Dave froze and tensed up. “Should I not?” He asked nervously.

“Whatever you want to call it,” Karkat reassured him, “I just don’t want to watch Shrek 2 or something with my boyfriend. Not yet. Maybe we should work up to that shit or something?”

“Then what do you propose?”

“Love, Simon.”

“You didn’t even stop to think about that,” Dave said, crossing his arms. “Have you been planning this?”

“I did have the drive over here to think about which movies to watch with you,” Karkat admitted.

“Since you’re my boyfriend, I’ll let you stream that shit on my laptop, but if you were anyone else, I would’ve said ‘hell no’, because usually this device is only compatible with irony and fresh action films,” Dave said, pulling up the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update is so incredibly late! I had some ideas for my super gay book, so I had to pause to go work on that before coming back to this. Also, the title is a reference to Karkat climbing out of the window. I'll probably start bringing in what's going on with the rest of the characters in the upcoming sections.


	18. Conspiracies and Homophobic Tendencies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave gets a strange text from Jane requesting his presence at the college fields to talk about something. Afterwards, he discovers who Roxy has developed a crush on, to his surprise.

Karkat cuddled Dave throughout the movie, despite Dave making sarcastic comments about the plot. He didn’t tell him that it was one of his favorite movies, because obviously Dave was making a point of how much he disliked it. There was no way Karkat was going to tell him he had a book club with his dad where they read the book of it once, before his dad had condemned all fiction. Apparently, it had once been his mom’s favorite book, so it had sentimental value to Kankri. There was still a copy in their house somewhere. Karkat wasn’t about to pull the sympathy card, though, so he just stayed quiet and enjoyed the warmth of Dave’s body leaning against his.

When the movie finished, Karkat felt his nervousness resurface at the thought of spending the night. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust himself to just cuddle Dave and sleep, but he didn’t know how Dave felt about it. Dave noticed that something was off with Karkat.

“Are you good? I hope I didn’t strike a nerve with my critical commentary,” Dave said.

“You’re fine,” Karkat said. “I just think I should probably get home before they realize I snuck out.”

“Wait, you snuck out?” Dave asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, I climbed out the window,” Karkat said as if it was the only solution.

“What the fuck? You probably should go back, then,” Dave said, laughing so hard by then that he was almost crying. “I can’t believe you climbed out a window to see me. I’m not Prince Charming or anything.”

Karkat stared at Dave laughing. “No, I think you’re better.” He lightly kissed his cheek and stood up to leave before Dave could react.

“I’ll see you in class,” Dave said. He’d stopped laughing and looked at Karkat with a blush on his cheeks.

“Yep, unless Kankri kills me the moment I walk inside.”

“Tell him it was an emergency.”

“Dave, I don’t think you dealing with Eridan is a fucking emergency. More like an excuse.”

“I hope he doesn’t ground you or anything.”

Karkat snorted. “You seriously think he’d ground my ass? He’d probably just talk my ears off until I was actually deaf.” He rolled his eyes. “If anything, he’d scold me for using my physical wellbeing to climb out of a window while there are people who can’t even walk. Like, I doubt Tavros cares that I did that. It’s not like he saw it happen. I didn’t go ‘look, I’m about to do something you can only dream of doing’ and then show off my leg strength or anything.”

“Did you just create an entire hypothetical conversation?” Dave asked with a smirk.

“Pretty much.”

“You’re so cute,” Dave said with a blush.

Karkat started to blush too. He shrugged. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Dave replied. He pulled his shades back on and gave Karkat a thumbs up.

“Dork,” Karkat muttered, opening the door and leaving.

The whole drive home, Karkat felt a rare form of warmth in his chest. He’d never been so fond of a person before. It definitely hadn’t felt that way when he was with Terezi. Just the thought of that relationship made him feel a ghost of coldness, and he shivered and gripped the steering wheel harder, reminding himself that it was over. He was with Dave, and everything was going well.

Dave hummed happily while he put away his laptop. He was thinking of making a new rap song for Karkat, but he knew it would have to be more clean than his usual, otherwise Karkat could think he was trying to get into his pants after only dating him for a day. Lying in his bed under the blanket fort that he refused to take down until someone physically forced him to, he admitted to himself that Love, Simon was actually a pretty decent movie. It even had a Ferris wheel moment. It felt like the perfect movie to watch after their first date at the carnival, once Dave thought about it. He reminded himself to tell Karkat that, in case he was acting off because of his critiques, despite saying that wasn’t what was bothering him. Then, his thoughts took a completely different turn and he pictured what it would be like to kiss him. He replayed the moment Karkat’s lips had grazed his cheek a few times until he blushed. He had no way of knowing what a kiss on the lips felt like.

Setting his sunglasses back on his desk, Dave curled up under his blankets and fell asleep before Eridan could return and ruin his mood. The faint smile didn’t go away, even when his breathing evened out. Before he fully fell asleep, he was vaguely aware of a text notification from his phone, but he didn’t want to grab it to see who it was. It could wait until the morning.

In the morning, Dave had forgotten he had a text waiting for him. Before getting ready for Econ, he checked the time and saw a text from Jane.

**Can you meet me on the fields later today? It’s been a while since we talked! There’s so much to catch up on**

**Uh, sure? What time were you thinking?**

Jane immediately responded, as if she’d been on her phone already.

**How about noon? It’s the middle of the day, best time for a friendly chat I’d think**

**That works, I guess. Have we ever had a friendly meeting with just us before, though?**

**Now that you mention it, I don’t think we have! All the more reason to :)**

Dave didn’t know how to feel or respond to that, so he just sent a thumbs up. Jane was nice and all but he had noticed she had a creepy side and a pretty angry side and had said some mildly homophobic things in his presence before, despite being best friends with Dirk. Something about her just really put him on edge.

During Econ, Dave had trouble focusing on what they were learning. He kept glancing out the window or at the clock, counting the minutes until he had to face Jane. It was difficult to even call her a friend, he realized. She was more like an acquaintance to him simply because she was so close to Dirk. The class ended, and he paused until everyone else had left and the professor was looking at him curiously. Then, he left slowly. He wondered if he could take long enough to get there that it would cut their interaction short. Maybe Jane would have a class she had to go to sooner than his next one.

When Dave got to the fields, Jane was already standing there with an unreadable expression on her face. She saw him and put on her brightest smile that still creeped him out.

“Hey,” he said awkwardly.

“Hi, Dave. Are you aware you’re becoming quite close with Mr. Vantas?”

“Uh, yeah. He did ask permission,” Dave said, raising an eyebrow.

“He asked you permission to be friends? That’s quite strange. He is the son of a man who has beef with the government,” she pointed out, as if Dave wouldn’t already know and it’d somehow change his opinion on him. “I’m debating how much I should report him and the Captor hacker sisters for.”

“Okay, hold up a second. First of all, you’re talking about Sollux’s parents, who aren’t siblings and have actually been together for like over twenty years. Secondly, all Kankri does is run a shitty blog. It’s not like he’s trying to dismantle the government or anything. You seriously need to chill with your conspiracy theories about people trying to ruin the way things are. Thirdly, I’m not just friends with Karkat.”

Jane just stared at him for a moment. “I cannot believe that John is officially the only one from our group who isn’t homo. And he is almost too straight with his ‘dating two different chicks’ scheme. Can none of you just be normal? I was fine with Dirk being gay, because that’s part of his charm, but now you’re getting all close with this Vantas guy, Rose has fallen head over heels for a girl in her philosophy class, Jake is going around with that cripple he thinks is like a dead president. And I mean, really, Jake surprised me, because he’s so much of a man. Then, recently, Jade has been obsessed with stories about men getting physical, and even Roxy has started crushing on a girl.”

Dave started laughing for the last few sentences of her rant. When she stopped to glare at him, he stopped to say, “I don’t see why Jake shocked you so much. He isn’t exactly the peak of straightness or manliness. He’s like that type of guy who takes everything that should interest a guy from the olden times and takes it to the extreme. He’s trying too hard. You’re almost starting to sound homophobic.”

“I am not homophobic! How can you say that when Dirk is my gay best friend?”

With a shrug, Dave began to completely lose interest in the conversation. “Is this all you called me over here for?”

“I wanted to tell you that Vantas is dangerous. And to see if you had any information on the operations going on at his house.”

“I told you, it’s just his social justice warrior dad posting things on a blog that hardly anyone even follows.”

“That’s what they want you to think. They’re probably trying to indoctrinate you.”

“Into what, the gay agenda?” Dave asked with a smirk. “I think that’s already happened."

“No, their rebellion. You may not know this, but there’s lots of history in that family.”

“How do you know this?”

“I have my sources,” she said vaguely. “If you want to learn what I’m talking about, just ask your friend what happened to his mom.”

“ _Boyfriend_ ,” Dave corrected, watching her flinch subtly. “And obviously that’s a sensitive topic, so there’s no way in hell I’m asking him that.”

“Suit yourself. Keep living in ignorance and see where that gets you. I’m only trying to help you, Dave, as your brother’s best friend.”

“I don’t need your help. I’m perfectly happy, thank you. Go bake a cake or some shit.”

“Have a nice day,” she said in a sickly-sweet tone and walked away.

Dave shivered uncomfortably and went the opposite way, taking the long way back to class just to avoid crossing paths with Jane again. On the sidewalk, he ran into Roxy instead.

“Dave!” She said happily, giving him a fist bump. “How’s it going? I haven’t seen you in like forevers.”

“It’s actually going really great. I finally have a boyfriend,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, that goth looking dude you were sleeping on in that picture that’s been going around on the internet?”

“Uh, yeah. That was taken before we were officially dating, though,” he said, feeling warmth creeping into his face. He’d forgotten the picture was on social media until Karkat made Jade delete it, and he was sure people had reposted it before then. “His name’s Karkat.”

“I’ve seen you with him an awful lot, so I’m so excited for you guys for finally manning up and going out together,” she said with a grin. “I’ll admit, I’m having some confidence probs myself with how I feel.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Sure. On a whim, I started going to a roleplaying group, and I met this girl there who’s super sweet. I think I might be crushing on her, but I can hardly even talk to her, you know? It’s hard.”

“I’m sure she’d understand if you just told her. Like get to know her well first, and then if you’re already friends, I doubt she’ll ditch you or some awful shit like that. You just have to be tight first so you’re worth enough not to leave. Once she gets to know you, I’m sure the worst you’ll go through is a simple rejection,” he said optimistically.

“Damn, Dave. Dating someone really did a number on your optimism. You almost sound as bad as Jake does sometimes,” Roxy said with a giggle.

“What’s this girl like?” He asked, feeling embarrassed of his newfound hopefulness.

“She’s an amazing roleplayer. She always knows exactly when to play or fight and loves to help other players and anyone in need, really. But then, she also likes to have a lighter mood sometimes and pause to ship various players’ characters. Last time, she actually shipped her character with mine, and it’s kind of canon in our campaign. It’s really cute. We adopted a cat familiar,” Roxy gushed. “In person, she’s a little more mysterious. I know that she’s a zoology major with a minor in sociology and wants to be an intern at a big cat refuge. She really likes cats. You should see her cat, Davekat, he’s sooo cute. She’s such a badgurl for sneaking him to school and keeping him a secret this long.”

Everything clicked the moment he heard the cat’s name. “Wait, you like Nepeta?” He asked, surprised.


	19. Past and Present Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave finds out some of Sollux's past now that he's pretty close friends with him. Then, Kanaya takes a big step. John, meanwhile, is having second thoughts about getting into the situation he's in and decides to contact Dave for advice later. Dirk on the other hand, is having an actual moment of desperation, including self-shipping charts and everything.

After his conversation with Roxy, Dave was struggling not to tell everyone he ran into about it. In his CS class with Sollux, he was tempted to interrupt Sollux’s update on how Aradia was improving with his revelation that his friend had a crush on someone that he actually knew. For once, his mouth didn’t betray him, and he half listened to Sollux explain how Aradia was practically a normal person already and would be starting classes after a few more tests were run.

“That’s pretty cool, dude. How does it feel to pretty much create life?” Dave asked.

“I-I have two admiit, iit’s a liittle iintiimiidatiing two thiink about. Liike, what iif she turns out actually awful and iinsufferable? She hasn’t shown any siigns so far, but one has to be wary just iin case. I-I mean, look at who made her: there’s me, who’s the liiteral worst, and then there’s Equiius…who, he’s cool and all, but damn that guy has some screwy iinfluences on people. Plus, I-I’m worriied he snuck some horse themed prank iinto her desiign that I-I haven’t diiscovered yet. And, siince you’re tiight wiith my best bro, I-I’ll confiide somethiing iin you. I-I thiink Equiius miight also want two date her once she’s fully functiional. I-I know that makes me sound hypocriitiical as fuck, but I-I desiigned her two be the perfect woman based on my perceptiions, not hiis.” He sighed.

“Hm, well I guess you’ll just have to get to her first or something. Or just be the better choice and I’m sure she’ll pick you. Although, apparently I’m on an optimism streak today simply because I have a boyfriend for the first time in my life, so I wouldn’t take anything I say as legit advice, more just rambling that you can fucking ignore. Like, if a guy were to burst into a wedding during the pause for objections and start a rant about why Teen Titans Go! shouldn’t exist, I’m sure they’d take it about as seriously as you should take me right now, which is, not at all. Don’t get me wrong, that show sucks balls, but I don’t think it’s worth crashing some poor person’s wedding to gain an active audience to rant about how Robin no longer has any character value at all,” Dave rambled.

“God, iif thiis iis how datiing Karkat iis goiing two make you, maybe I-I take back condoniing thiis paiiriing. But anyway, thanks for the adviice, however helpful or stupiid iit actually iis.”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s because I’m dating Karkat. I think maybe I’m finally comfortable around you enough to just spout the shit that I usually unleash on a daily basis.”

“I-I don’t know whether two be flattered or run away now before iit gets worse,” Sollux said with a hint of a smile. “And, Dave, outsiide of your rambliing just now, I-I’d love two diiscuss the faiiliings of Teen Tiitans Go!! wiith you another tiime.”

“Bet, that’s like my dream conversation, besides one where I talk about my Obama x Shrek fanfic.”

“I-I’m goiing two pretend I-I diidn’t just fiind out that exiists, and I-I’m defiiniitely not searchiing for that later,” Sollux said, wiping his eyes under his glasses as if to clear his memory of that image. “On another possiibly but probably not less terriible topiic, I-I heard that Diirk fiinally broke up wiith Eriidan.”

“Oh, yeah. He was trying to for a few days, as far as I know, but I think Eridan was like avoiding him hardcore. It’s as if he sensed that Dirk was ready to end things, so he just lived in denial and purposefully kept on the move to keep away from him and the breakup, but now that it happened, he’s the absolute worst person to be around.”

“I-I don’t even have two iimagiine what he’s liike riight now,” Sollux muttered with a sigh.

“I’ve gathered that he lives in a shitty cycle of asking people out and having his heart ‘broken’.”

“I-I wiitnessed every step of iit fiirsthand. Beliieve iit or not, I-I used two be close two hiim.”

“What, no way! He’s such a prick, and like, not even in an ironic sense. He’s just an all around terrible guy.”

Sollux chuckled. “Yeah, I-I know. I-I used two be more liike that, actually. Or I-I at least beliieved I-I was. I-I guess that’s why I-I thought he was all I-I deserved. I-I even thought I-I was two good for Karkat, who’s been there for me siince we were born, pretty much.”

“Damn, you even shut out Special K!” Dave sounded appalled.

“God, that niickname iis the worst, please use iit more. But yeah, I-I completely avoiided hiim for most of hiighschool.”

“Wow, there’s no way I would’ve guessed. You guys are like ridiculously close now. I was really intimidated by how tight you are with him at first, and it felt like I was best friend third-wheeling.”

“That’s funny, I-I felt the same way, but that I-I was thiird-wheeliing a relatiionshiip that diidn’t even exiist yet, whiich iin a lot of ways iis worse. Anyway, back two my hiistory I-I guess, siince you practiically liive wiith Eriidan, I-I don’t thiink I-I need two explaiin how he viiews those close two hiim. We were friiends wiith benefiits for a whiile, but iit made me really uncomfortable and I-I diidn’t know what two do. Karkat, despiite me beiing a complete asshole at the tiime, saved me from that siituatiion. Ever siince then, I-I’ve made a poiint to block and avoiid Eriidan, hopiing he got the message.”

“I guess in some ways, it is better that I never had any relationships with people beyond just platonic friendships or whatever. Hearing about the weird situations everyone else had to go through just makes me think that maybe I’m lucky.”

“Yeah, I-I thiink haviing Karkat as a fiirst boyfriiend wiill be really good for you. Plus, you seem confiident enough not to fall iinto any toxiic siituatiions.”

“Thanks, but I’m not sure I’m actually as confident as I pretend to be. At least Karkat’s already seen me vulnerable, otherwise I’d probably be terrified he wouldn’t like that side of me.”

“Trust me, he’s got iit really bad for you,” Sollux said with a wink that Dave could just barely make out behind his colored lenses.

Dave smiled and went back to focusing all of his attention to his coding. He was attempting to make something difficult, because sitting next to Sollux was making him feel really inferior, especially since Sollux was basically enjoying freedom until the end of the semester since he already finished his project. Thoughts of Karkat kept distracting him, and he began to wonder about the secrets in Karkat’s past that he didn’t know.

Kanaya composed herself as best she could and checked the nametag on the bouquet of flowers she held one last time for any errors. She was sure she’d already checked it four or five times, but she could never be too careful when it came to her perfect crush. Nervousness made her hands sweaty, and she hoped her sweat wouldn’t somehow wilt the flowers before they got to their destination. She released a sigh, trying to calm herself, and knocked on the door of the dorm complex.

Nepeta, knowing Kanaya was coming, opened the door for her with a cattish grin. “Would you like me to deliver them fur you?” She asked.

Feeling her courage suddenly failing her, Kanaya nodded weakly. She cursed how foolish she probably looked. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Of course not! I love seeing a mew couple in bloom. I’m sure she’ll love them.”

“Thank you Nepeta it means a lot to me.”

“No problem, I’ll be sure to text you her recation.” She smiled again, taking the flowers gently in her hands.

“Just make sure your cat doesn’t get to them before she does please.”

“No worries, Davekat loves budding romance just as much as me.”

Kanaya snorted at the name of Nepeta’s cat. It never got old. She waved awkwardly and walked away, trying to look casual. Then, Rose happened to be walking up the path. Kanaya panicked in her mind, wondering why she was there. It was almost like she lived there or something. With no other options, she dove into the nearest undergrowth and hid while Rose watched the rustling shrubbery suspiciously before continuing on her way. Kanaya felt like she was going to hyperventilate, or her heart was going to abandon ship, but neither happened. Rose simply entered the building and probably received the flowers. She silently hoped the girl would remember the reference she put on the card. Then, with the situation out of her hands, she practically ran away before Rose could appear again.

John wasn’t sure if he was in the best or worst scenario imaginable. He’d managed to accidentally end up dating both of the girls he’d grown fond of, which would’ve been fine by most standards, except that they didn’t know, so it technically probably counted as cheating. He’d already talked to Jake of all people about it because he’d asked, but he really wanted to talk to Dave. For some reason, whenever John had relationship trouble, he usually went to Dave and it made him feel better. It was strange, because Dave hadn’t been in a relationship the whole time he knew him, so he didn’t know where he got his vast well of expertise from. John wasn’t sure he could keep up his double romance life for long, but it was just so difficult to choose.

That day, he was patiently waiting for a date with Vriska. She was almost always consistently late for everything, so he didn’t expect her for another half hour or so. Over text, she told him she’d gone to a concert the night before, so she only just woke up, despite it being two in the afternoon and two of her classes being earlier in the day. It wasn’t uncommon for her to skip class either. She didn’t really like any aspect of college that wasn’t partying, roleplaying, or her class that focused solely on historical thieves throughout the ages, which was her last class of the day. She was constantly telling John that he tried too hard in his classes and that it was really uncool and geeky of him, although he didn’t really feel any danger of her leaving him for those qualities. It almost came off as harmless teasing, but he still couldn’t quite be sure with her. She was mysterious, which he supposed he was attracted to.

Meanwhile, Dirk was having a crisis in his dorm room. He even drew out a shitty chart of every eligible male on campus that he knew of, trying to figure out anyone he might possibly be able to date, or at least hook up with. He scrutinized each name and the associated attributes and pictured how a relationship might go. From this perspective, he had to admit that Eridan should’ve been his best option after Jake, but now that he knew how bad Eridan got while dating, he was hesitant to deal with that ever again. He crossed the name off the list, along with Jake and obviously Karkat. He knew there was no way in hell he’d get anywhere near the shouty guy, even if he wanted to. Then, he crossed off Sollux because he weirdly reminded him of Dave. He also crossed off Tavros because he was taken by Jake. He also crossed off John multiple times because not only was he Dave’s childhood friend, but he was ridiculously straight. That left only two names on the chart: Gamzee and Equius. He grumbled and wondered if he should get out there more and find more people or wait for Jake to be available again.

Then, Equius entered the room, accidentally slamming the door in his wake. He panted a few times and toweled some sweat off of his forehead after his tri-daily run. Dirk hurriedly put away his chart before Equius could see it, because that was embarrassing stuff that a cool guy couldn’t be caught doing. He wasn’t a desperate idiot who had to consider every single male within a ten-mile radius. That thought made him consider online dating if he couldn’t solve his problems, but idly, he was busy inspecting Equius in a new light. As one of the few males Dirk could actually date, as far as he could tell, his roommate was now put in a new light. He inspected his actions with more interest than he’d shown before, as if suddenly Equius needed extra consideration. Dirk couldn’t believe the strange ways in which his mind and heart moved, but he supposed he was just along for the ride and he might as well pull up some popcorn and see where it went, because there wasn’t any stopping it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really short, so I just started adding tidbits of what's happening outside of the main focus. I'll continue exploring the side stories with the upcoming updates, but of course there'll also be more Davekat moments.


	20. The Doctor is In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Aka, Dave suddenly becomes everyone's relationship adviser at once)  
> Rose gets Kanaya's flowers with Nepeta's help and Jade's 'help'.  
> Dave seems to be the go-to guy to discuss relationship issues with even though he doesn't even know what he's supposed to do in his own relationship.

Rose walked back to her dorm after a particularly intense discussion in her gender studies class. A headache was starting to bloom in the back of her head. She wasn’t expecting Nepeta to greet her at the building entrance with a bouquet of pink lilies. At first, she eyed Nepeta curiously, but the look on her face made her think it probably wasn’t from her. The flowers were gorgeous, but too bad she was mildly allergic to them, so her headache spiked even worse and she just grumbled.

“At least read the note,” Nepeta said, her grin rapidly becoming a frown. She handed the card to Rose.

Taking a breath, Rose opened the card and observed it. Then, she scrutinized it.

**_There Are Many Picture-Perfect Moments But None Surpass The Moment I First Saw You_**

Inside there was a heavily experimental image of a rose flower, the kind that was obviously the result of messing with old fashioned darkroom photography. Rose couldn’t help it and started smiling at how many hints Kanaya was giving that it was her, just in case Rose wouldn’t pick up on the details. Then, there was the bouquet of lilies. She didn’t exactly want to throw them out, because then Kanaya might see it and get the wrong idea, but she also didn’t think she could keep them in her dorm without developing a full migraine. It was strange, because she knew Jade knew of her allergy, and she wondered if she hadn’t told Kanaya when or if she saw her preparing the sweet gesture.

“I love them, please tell Kanaya that she’s really sweet. But, I’m a little allergic to lilies,” Rose said, grabbing some ibuprofen and water. “I’ll text her about it after I take a nap, but I’m sure she’s dying to know if I liked them or if I even guessed that it was her.”

Nepeta was already on it before Rose finished talking. She pulled out her phone and quickly started tapping away.

**Kanaya!! She loves them and thinks you’re super sweet. You have to ask her out! Also, sidenote, she’s kinda allergic to lilies**

**Holy Shit Is She Okay**

**Is She Just Saying That To Make Me Feel Better About It**

**Jade Told Me To Give Her Lilies She Said It Was Her Favorite Flower Ever Which I Thought Was A Little Odd But Went Along With It**

**I Wonder If Perhaps I Was Tricked**

**It’s definitely a purrsibility! Omg this drama isn’t what I signed up for when I agreed to be your wingkitty**

**You’re Everyone’s ‘Wingkitty’ I Don’t Think You Need To Sign Up Per Se**

**Do you think Jade doesn’t like you for some reason?**

**I Have Gotten The Impression That Something Like That Was Going On Before But I Thought We Were Over That Since We Have To Share A Living Space**

**I could tell Rose if you’d like so she knows it wasn’t intentional? She seemed to be trying her best to find the gesture sweet and purrfect, but I could tell she was purrhaps confused. She also said she’d text you after she takes a nap, so you can talk to her about it yourself if you want to :3**

**Thanks Nepeta You’re Always Someone I Can Depend On I’ll Just Wait To Talk To Her Once She Wakes Up**

**Okie dokie! :3 You’re going to be such a cute couple, I just know it**

**Speaking Of Which If You Ever Need Relationship Help Like That A Wingwoman Could Offer Let Me Know And I’ll Do The Best I Can**

**:33**

Kanaya sighed and put her phone away. It didn’t help that she’d had the text conversation while the person in question was sitting less than ten feet away humming happily. She wondered if perhaps Jade had a conniving side she couldn’t perceive and if their symbiosis was a front for more devious plans. Somehow, it made her feel even more nervous about finally telling Rose exactly how she felt in person. She made a mental note not to trust Jade’s advice anymore and checked on her latest photographs to see if they were fully developed yet. Right when they were almost finished, Jade flipped on the main light to look for something.

“Oops,” she muttered, shutting it back off.

With a groan, Kanaya grabbed anything she’d need for class later and exited the room. She couldn’t bear to see just how terrible her photos were messed up. After that, she began to run through everything she’d done in her head, trying to pinpoint why Jade would have it out for her, because it definitely seemed that way. She wished Rose would wake up soon.

It was Dave’s first class with Karkat where they were boyfriends, and he was feeling unreasonably nervous about it. He hadn’t considered how his school dynamic would change once he was dating someone, so he didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t know whether it would be the same as always, completely different, or just slightly altered, and it was driving him nuts. When he ran into Karkat on the sidewalk, he almost collapsed.

“Geez, Dave are you fucking okay? You look like you’re going to pass out,” Karkat commented, holding Dave up.

Feeling Karkat’s arms wrapping around his body helped reassure him that things had changed significantly and he wouldn’t be stuck in a limbo of being unable to tell any difference between their usual interactions from before and how they’d act as a couple. He buried his face into Karkat’s neck and turned it into a hug.

“I’m fine, just feeling a little insecure,” he muttered.

“About what? Did some asshole hurt you?” Karkat asked, gently petting Dave’s hair to comfort him.

“I didn’t know how to act around you in class now that we’re dating,” Dave admitted.

“You got this worked up over that?” Karkat asked, giving Dave enough distance to look him in the face. “However you want to act is fine. I already know we’re together. Fuck, just try to relax and look at me.”

Dave lifted his head to look at Karkat through his shades. “I’m pretty pathetic. I have no idea how this whole thing works.”

“It works in whatever way we want it to, dumbass. There isn’t like a rulebook on dating, and if there is, I’m sure it was written by an old stupid hetero bitch, so it doesn’t apply to us anyway. What do you want it to be like when we’re in class together as a couple?” The way Karkat was looking at Dave was making him feel warm and more assured.

“Could we hold hands under the table or something?” Dave asked hesitantly.

“Of course. It’ll work out just fine because you’re righthanded and I’m left, so just sit on my right side.” Karkat smiled a little. “See, was that so terrifying?”

Dave shook his head, feeling embarrassed and very uncool.

“Look, I never expected you to know everything there is about this. I’m your first crush, so you’re fucking allowed to make mistakes.”

“Thanks. I guess Sollux was right when he said you’re the best person for me to have as my first boyfriend. Just now, it was like I was drowning and you pulled over a door for me to float on while you were freezing your ass off in the water, even though you could’ve fit on the door. You just put my issues first like that,” Dave said, feeling more like himself.

“You just compared me helping you through a mild nervous spell to the death scene in Titanic,” Karkat pointed out, rolling his eyes and facepalming. “I take it back, you’re not holding my fucking hand,” he joked. “I might catch whatever analogy-inducing illness you have.”

Dave smiled up at him, knowing Karkat was only kidding. He walked with him to their class before they were late.

“How did it go with Kankri last night, by the way?” Dave asked once they were sitting in the back of the room.

“Oh, he’s kissing my ass now. You should see the encouraging texts he’s been sending me throughout the day and then ones where he apologizes for texting me too much. I basically told him he failed as a parent, but that he has two years to make it up to me, so now he’s laying it on really fucking thick trying to be the best parent he can. I could get away with murder right now, and he’d just give me a smile and a thumbs up and say something about how he’s sure it’s benefitting society in some way.”

“Damn, how long do you think that’s going to last?”

“Who knows, but it’ll really help soften his reaction to me dating you.”

“Do you think he’d usually react badly?”

“Nah, I just think he’s really estranged from the whole relationship thing, so he’s most likely going to be really unpredictable and weird as hell about it,” Karkat said with a half-smile.

Then, while there was a lull in their conversation to listen to the lecture, Karkat carefully grabbed Dave’s hand as smoothly as he could without making it obvious to everyone else in the room what he was doing. Dave tensed up for a moment before returning his grip, and Karkat saw a faint smile creep over his face in his peripheral vision. Karkat couldn’t be distracted by Dave’s overall adorableness featuring dimples, though, so he busied himself taking notes with his left hand. Luckily, Dave seemed to function well enough to take notes as well.

After class was over and the world hadn’t ended, Karkat felt he had to tell Dave something to make him feel like he wasn’t being ridiculous by being nervous. He pulled Dave aside when they were walking out of class.

“Here’s the deal. You’re not the only one who doesn’t know what he’s doing. I didn’t want to admit it to you, but last night I was afraid of spending the night because I didn’t know if that would go past any boundaries or not. I didn’t really think my dad would get mad at me for sneaking out.”

“That’s understandable, you probably did us both a favor by coming up with that excuse. We’ll probably get past this awkward phase eventually.”

“Right, and I guess we should probably try to be more open with communicating if we’re going to get there,” Karkat said.

“Yeah, sounds like a good plan,” Dave said with a smile.

“I hope you have a good evening, Dave. I have lost and found stuff to do, plus I promised I’d help Sollux with something at his house, so I’m going to be off the fucking grid for part of tonight. I’d rather spend time with you, obviously, but you know, responsibility’s a bitch.” He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“I wouldn’t want to steal your time away anyway. I’m not like the time thief or anything,” Dave said with a smirk. “I’ll just think about you until you return.”

“Wow, that’s pretty sentimental and mushy,” Karkat muttered. “Anyway, don’t forget that stupid homework assignment for science without me there chewing your ass about it.”

Dave paused for a second to get an image out of his mind. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it. Same goes for you, don’t forget that you’re still in the running for valedictorian.”

Before Karkat could run away to get his stuff done, Dave hugged him and got on his tiptoes to lightly kiss his cheek. When Karkat waved goodbye, his face was really red, and Dave was sure his wasn’t much better. Besides his homework, the time away from Karkat gave him the perfect opportunity to work on his new rap song. He was feeling lighthearted and excited. That’s why he didn’t even notice he received a text from Dirk while he was staring in the direction Karkat had gone.

Once Dave got to his dorm, he found Eridan collapsed on his bed shirtless and staring at the ceiling in a daze.

“Hey, do you even know why he did it?” Eridan asked, with a surprisingly clear voice. He didn’t lift his head to look at Dave. He seemed like he finally stopped being a sobbing mess, and he didn’t sound like he was going to start hitting on him either, so that was an improvement.

“Yeah, you were an obsessive, clingy, and possessive bastard and then you avoided him when he wanted to talk to you about it,” Dave said bluntly.

“Ugh, that asshole. If he wasn’t so distant and aloof maybe I wouldn’t have been inclined to be insecure and clingy,” Eridan complained.

“Dirk like only does aloof and distant. The world would have to freeze over before he felt the need to show warmth towards someone, and even then, it’d just be in either an ironic way or buried under some other action. Since I grew up with him, I can read when he’s actually well-intentioned, but it’s almost impossible. It’s hard to understand him,” Dave said, getting annoyed. “He didn’t even genuinely like you in that way, I don’t think.”

“I finally thought someone got me, but it turns out he was just lying to me about it. I should’ve seen it coming when he moaned Jake’s name the first time we had sex,” Eridan said with a huff.

Dave almost laughed at that one, except that he didn’t want to think about what Dirk did when he had sex with people. It was probably really screwed up or kinky or something, and Dave didn’t want that mental image. “Well maybe you should work on yourself before trying to date someone so you won’t be so insecure next time and make the same mistake.”

Eridan snorted. “I’m fucking amazing, it’s your brother who has problems.”

When Dave pulled out his phone for a distraction from the conversation and excuse to stop responding, he didn’t expect what he saw. The text Dirk had sent earlier was waiting for him to read it.

**So I accidentally made myself start crushing on my roommate because he’s one of the only datable people I know on campus. I think it might work out, but I guess I just wanted to check first to see if you know any beef on Equius**

**Uh isn’t he like not exactly your type? You usually go for pretty wimpy guys**

**Nah, I don’t think there’s anything wrong in theory with two strong guys getting together and encouraging each other in a supportive and probably very physical way**

**Then I think the only thing I have to say is that Equius might already like someone else that he already knows in a physical sense**

**Hm maybe I’ll be able to figure it out for sure if I keep observing him**

**Or maybe you should take a break from dating so the broken hearts don’t start piling up. I’m already over here giving Eridan advice that he’s ignoring. Do you seriously feel the need to constantly be in a relationship?**

**Not exactly, I just need something to convince myself that Jake isn’t the only viable option, and so far I’m failing miserably at that**

**I don’t think dating people will help you get over that**

**Then what the fuck do you propose I do? I’m running out of options and eligible men around my age in this area**

**I’m not too good at relationship stuff, but I think maybe you should just think about things more before you get in too deep and screw even more stuff up. Try to make friends without ulterior motives or something**

Dirk stopped responding, so Dave assumed he was probably pissed about that verdict and would most likely pursue Equius to spite him, but he couldn’t exactly tell him he had a literal robot to battle for his roommate to notice him. He was exhausted by all the shit happening around him, so he just collapsed on his bed and sighed. Of course, the world had other plans, because another text came through. It was from John, so Dave felt obligated to at least read it.

**I need some help! I think I bit off more than I can chew and I’m really starting to worry what the consequences will be or how I can get out of this situation**

**What the hell did you do this time?**

**I’m dating two girls at the same time**

**Oh, I didn’t know you were poly. Congrats bro on figuring that out, I totally support you and all**

**No, Dave, that’s not it! I’m dating two girls separately, like they don’t know I’m dating the other. I’m cheating, living a double life. You know how I texted you unsure which I was going to end up liking more? Well I never figured it out and panicked and kind of asked both of them out**

**I don’t really know what to tell you, because I’ve obviously never been in that situation. Could you tell me who they are?**

**Vriska and Terezi. To make it worse, I’ve started realizing that they might be best friends or something, so now I’m even more scared they might figure it out before I know what to do to fix it**

**Oof. I think all you can do is either try to continue on and hope they don’t put it together or tell them now before it gets too serious. I’d suggest the latter, but again I have no idea**

**Ok I’ll try to get up the nerve to tell them. Thanks, bro! I knew I could count on you**

**Sure, good luck**

Dave rolled over on his bed and cuddled himself in Karkat’s jacket. He wished everyone would stop going to him with their relationship troubles. Four people in one day had to be some kind of record. While he was doing his best to play dead, he did end up thinking about Karkat, which drove away some of his annoyance. They’d held hands almost all class. He smiled. Then, he remembered he was supposed to work on the beats for his rap song. He had decided to use pieces of Allstar to reference the first movie they watched together along with some of the random background music from Love, Simon, so he busied himself clipping small samples from both soundtracks and making them mesh in a way that made sense. He could only hope Karkat would appreciate the effort he was putting into this masterpiece. Then, he got another text.

“Argh,” Dave growled out loud, loud enough to make Eridan break out of his daze and look at him. Dave pulled out his phone to see he had a text from Jake.

**Hello, Dave!**

**For the love of baby Shrekbama please tell me you aren’t here in my office to ask for relationship advice. My available patience for love matters was just used up about thirty minutes ago and I’m already packing up to go home from this job I was forced into and drink vodka and think about where my life went wrong**

**Goodness no! Tavros and I are right as rain, just really smooth sailing for us over here. I was going to ask if you wanted to have some pal time soon. Now that Dirk isn’t…well, being quite as Dirk towards me, I had some clarity that I haven’t really been the best towards you. Tavros told me I should probably try to mend things with you now that I’ve bettered myself, so that’s what I’m doing!**

**Oh, I definitely didn’t expect that after the day I’ve been having. Is it just going to be us?**

**I’m not sure quite yet. Maybe we could have a double date, once you start dating someone**

**I’m dating Karkat, actually. A double date could be interesting, but I’d have to check with him**

**That’s wonderful news, Dave! In that case, after you check with him of course, would you like to accompany me and Tavros to a play? I promise it has some amount of irony that you’d appreciate**

**Uh, sure. Sounds fun**

**Great, get back to me when you have the Karkat seal of approval! I’ll talk to Tavros about it and try to figure out a date for us to go**

Dave sent a thumbs up. He wasn’t sure how to feel about the idea of sitting in a dark room with Karkat next to him while Tavros and Jake were also there and watching who knows what performance that had what Jake thought was irony in it. It sounded like it could either be an absolute nightmare or something decent. Plus, Dave seemed to remember Karkat saying he could only handle Tavros for short amounts of time. He started to text him to see how he felt about it but remembered he was in a dead zone. Instead, he stared at the ceiling with a smile on his face. He couldn’t believe how much he’d been smiling ever since he met Karkat. It really felt unlike him, but he like the change. Another text notification pulled him out of his thoughts and he nearly threw his phone. He checked it with one eye, afraid of what he’d find.

**Come outside!! :33 I have a surprise fur you**

**Who is this even? If you’re trying to lure me out to kill me, this definitely isn’t the way to go about it**

***gets ready to pounce on Dave’s innocent form standing in the doorway* No, silly! It’s Nepeta** **! Just come to your dorm building door so I can give you something**

**Fine**

Dragging himself out of bed, Dave walked up to the entrance and opened it. Nepeta squealed excitedly and hugged him. “Congrats! I’m so happy you and Karkat finally got together!” She beamed up at him. Then, Davekat made an appearance and mewed at him.

“Yeah, canon soundin ass, I guess you make sense now,” Dave said with a smirk. He lightly pet the cat’s soft grey fur. “Davekat,” he said softly, feeling warmth at the name for the first time.

“To celebrate your new relationship, because honestly it was making me sad seeing Karkat single for so long, I got you guys a little gift,” Nepeta said. She giggled with excitement and produced a package from her jacket. “Please open it!”

Dave hesitated, wishing Karkat was there to see whatever it was, but he couldn’t exactly let such a nice seeming girl down, so he slowly opened the box. He stared at the contents and almost cried at how perfect it was. It was one of the pictures from the haunted house trip in a ridiculously gaudy frame that was so tacky it was amazing. It even had red glitter on it that came off on his hands. Then, the other contents were a headphone splitter and a blanket that had Karkat’s zodiac stuff on one side and a record design on the other.

“Damn, this is perfect,” Dave found himself muttering. “How did you manage to get something so great?”

“Oh, I talked to some of your friends, and I already know Karkat pretty well, so I knew he’d be embarrassed but also go absolutely bonkers over this.” She grinned at him. “You’ll definitely have to tell me what his reaction is, too.”

“I will, now that I have your number. And, hey, you’re always trying to help people with their relationships all the time. Do you have any crushes yourself?” Dave asked, feeling like that segway was pretty smooth.

Nepeta blushed. “Well, purrhaps one comes to mind, but I doubt she sees me that way.”

“If you need any help, I’m totally here to name random stuff after your ship name and support you like you did for me,” he said.

“Thanks, Dave. That’s really sweet of you to offer. People don’t usually take my feelings into account, if I’m being totally honest. It’s a nice change, but I don't like to make people worry about my trivial love life. It's strange, you and Kanaya are the only people who've ever offered to help me with this stuff, and you both happened to offer today. I’m so glad Karkat found someone like you,” she said, sounding slightly sad.

“Of course. I think whoever it is that you like, you should keep talking to her and getting to know her. You might be surprised how much people care sometimes, even when you don’t think they do,” Dave said. He really hoped Nepeta liked Roxy, otherwise his advice could lead to heartbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite what was envisioned in the comment on the previous update about Dave telling Davekat he's canon, but I had to work within the context of the scene. I think maybe there'll be another interaction later in which Karkat does something ridiculous about Davekat, but that's yet to be seen.


	21. Decisions and Threats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose figures out what to do with the lilies and ends up talking to Kanaya in person finally. Karkat figures out who the newest lost and found item belongs to and is nervous to return it, but he then gets distracted by the amount of emotional turmoil Sollux is going through. Then, Karkat has a strange interaction the next day at college.

Rose woke up from her nap and saw the lilies sitting on her desk and sighed. She decided to do something artistic with them since Kanaya probably paid for them and it’d be a waste to do otherwise, so she grabbed them, holding them away from her face, and carried them out of the room. There was a cemetery near her dorm that she often spent time in, so she decided to go there. Inside the fenced area, there was this beautiful cherry tree that she loved to sit under to read or write, so she positioned the flowers in a gap in the trunk. They looked lovely and almost perfect settled there, so she took a picture with her cellphone camera. She thought sending it to Kanaya might help reassure her that she didn’t blame her for anything.

After sending the picture over text, Rose said.

**I think Nepeta already texted you, but I felt the need to talk to you myself, given the personal nature of the subject matter. Kanaya, that was such a thoughtful gesture. Thank you, I quite enjoyed the reference to our philosophical debate about what constitutes a picture-perfect moment, and the photograph was the perfect aesthetic for what I usually like. I’m glad you didn’t stick to just a plain rose. I’m sure Nepeta also might’ve mentioned my allergic reaction, and I wanted to talk to you about that directly. Don’t worry about accidentally getting a flower I’m allergic to. I don’t blame you or anything, and I do find lilies really nice from afar, so I set them here to enjoy them and I hope it respects the effort you put into getting them**

**Rose I’m So Glad You Enjoyed My Gift Despite The Situation With Your Allergies**

**I Was Wanting To Talk To You About Your Friend Actually**

**Jade Might Have A Grudge Against Me And I Was Wondering If You Might Know Why**

**Hm now that I think about it, she did mention you nearly killing her plants with your necessity to maintain a darkened room for photography purposes, but that was a long while ago. I didn’t think she’d hold a grudge that long, but I could be wrong. What makes you think she still might?**

**She Told Me To Get You Lilies Specifically And I Assume It’s Common Knowledge Among Your Friends That You’re Allergic To Them**

**That does sound mildly sinister. I’ll have to ask her about that. She’s going to have to learn to like you soon enough if we’re headed where I suspect we are**

**I Have No Idea What You’re Talking About ;)**

**Are you going to keep flirting with me over text or would you like to come over here? I’m in the cemetery near my dorm if you’d care to join me**

**I Do Have Excess Time Right Now If You Would Like My Company**

**No, I just invited you over because I _don’t_ want you over here**

**I’m On My Way**

Kanaya felt like she might hyperventilate. She checked her outfit, and although it looked almost the same as her typical outfits, she suddenly felt inferior. Running, she went into her dorm and quickly changed, thankful that Jade wasn’t there, and the room held its typical darkness. Then, smoothing out her shirt, she hurried towards the cemetery. She even checked her breath and took a mint with her, because her mind was going a million miles and hour and she had no idea what could happen.

When she was still across the street from the cemetery, Kanaya spotted Rose’s hair shining in the sun. It was the only flash of light in the greyness of the surrounding gravestones. Her breath caught in her throat, and she faltered, unsure if she could actually do this. For all her confidence over text, talking to Roe in person seemed to leech all of her social competence. She released her breath to calm her nerves. Remaining in this state would drive her crazier than actually going for it. Settling in that belief, she practically marched across the street, almost getting hit by a car in the process.

Rose looked up when she heard Kanaya’s boots clicking on the sidewalk. It was strange, but she’d somehow memorized that exact noise and knew it had to be her. She smiled at her, which Kanaya had to look away from as if Rose were the sun. When she saw Kanaya pause, Rose closed the distance herself and stood in front of her.

“Hi,” Rose said, a little breathless.

“Hello,” Kanaya responded awkwardly, self-consciously pushing her hair behind one ear.

Her heart was fluttering so hard in her chest that Rose felt like she might explode if she waited another moment to do or say something, but she didn’t know what would fit the moment. She put on a fake air of confidence. “Would you like to have a seat?” She finally offered, motioning to the nearest tree that had a low horizontal branch she sometimes sat on.

“Oh that could be nice but I doubt I could pull myself up there,” Kanaya said.

“No worries,” Rose said. She hesitated a moment before placing her hands on Kanaya’s waist and lifting her up to the branch carefully. After she made sure Kanaya was safely perched, she realized how close she was and paused there for a second as if shocked. Kanaya was hiding a blush behind her hand.

“Thank you,” Kanaya finally managed. Her lashes fluttered ever so slightly, but Rose caught it because she was so close. She felt Kanaya’s thigh rested against her side with seemingly heightened perception.

“You’re welcome,” Rose responded, wondering if she should step away or move in closer.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Kanaya finally asked.

Rose blinked at her. “I suppose not. Should we discuss this first?”

“Probably,” Kanaya muttered, but her hands were already on Rose’s shoulders.

“I really want to kiss you,” Rose finally said.

“Ditto.”

“I know a lot of people out there think it’s wrong to kiss on the first date, but what about before it? It’s probably a sin or something, but then again, so is dating the same sex in certain perspectives. If we both want it, then why should anyone impede us? Even we’re impeding us. This very exposition is just me stalling. If we’re in agreement, I’m going to go for it. We can discuss the details afterwards,” Rose said, and by the time she was done speaking, her lips were so close to Kanaya’s that they almost grazed them.

Rose rested her hand on Kanaya’s waist and the other on her thigh and went for it. Kissing somehow made her unaware of the little details she’d just been focused on. She lost track of time and her own limbs, and by the time they paused to breathe, Kanaya had her legs wrapped around Rose, her skirt enveloping Rose’s legs like a sleeping bag. Rose had her hands up the back of Kanaya’s shirt, and Kanaya was tangling her hands in Rose’s hair, skewing her headband. When they came more to their senses and weren’t suffering from oxygen depletion anymore, they hurriedly readjusted themselves with a shared blush.

“That was intense,” Kanaya said, looking down at Rose from her vantage point on the branch. She smoothed out her skirt, but she couldn’t keep the smile from creeping onto her lips, lips that’d just been connected to Rose Lalonde’s. “I guess now it’s time for that discussion assuming we can think properly.”

“Right. Kanaya, I think we should be official. I’d hate to see us wallowing around in hesitation like Dave and Karkat did. I don’t have anything against them, but they really went a long time with the whole pining thing, and I just don’t see us doing that. I’m not scared of anything,” Rose said boldly, ignoring the twisting in her gut in a bittersweet mess of anxiety and exhilaration. “And I think we both know by now that the feeling’s mutual.”

“You’re absolutely correct Rose. I wholeheartedly agree and think we should perhaps plan a date if that’s the route you wish to take.”

“I think that’s what’s expected of us as a couple, but I have to admit it does sound like a fun concept anyway. We should do something we’d like, though, not something bland.”

“How about we go explore all of the abandoned buildings in the area? I’ve been wanting to do a series of urban decay and the juxtaposition between you and desolate places would be fantastic.”

“I’d love to do that with you,” Rose said softly. She kissed Kanaya again softly on the lips and helped her down from the tree. “I’m assuming you have class soon.”

Kanaya checked the time and inhaled sharply. “I have to hurry before I’m late.”

“I won’t keep you. I’m glad we finally got that out in the open,” Rose said.

“Me too,” Kanaya said. Then, she started jogging away, lifting her skirt so she didn’t trip on it or anything.

Karkat checked his new additions to the lost and found box he kept in his closet until people claimed their stuff. There were certain items that he’d had for years without anyone messaging him. His most recent addition was a glove that he swore he saw somewhere before. He took a picture and posted it, hoping it’d be a quick claim. The first comment he got to the post was just Eridan sending a crying emoji. He wasn’t sure what to make of that, so he didn’t respond. It was best not to engage in Eridan’s conversations, even online. Then, he got an actual comment.

**Dirk Strider: that’s mine. I’ll meet you for it tomorrow in the food court. I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyway**

Karkat had to admit that he had no idea what Dirk could possibly want to talk to him about, and it made him mildly nervous. He put the glove into his backpack to give back to him before commenting back asking for a specific time to meet. Dirk even told him that Dave couldn’t be there with him. That was the moment that his nervousness became cold fear. He wondered if Dave’s brother thought he did something wrong. At least he’d be with Sollux for the rest of the night, otherwise he’d have no distraction from the approaching encounter. He packed his stuff, knowing Sollux would be there to pick him up shortly.

In the living room, Kankri paused whatever documentary he was watching to look up at Karkat.

“Hey, how was class today?” He asked as casually as he could manage, although it was obvious he was struggling a little.

“It was actually really fucking great,” Karkat said.

“Oh, what happened? Did you correct someone of their ignorant ways?” Kankri asked.

Karkat snorted. “No. I held Dave’s hand for like an hour,” he said.

“So you’re dating now? That’s great! Good for you,” Kankri said with a painful amount of enthusiasm. His eye literally twitched while he had a smile plastered on his face. The fact that he wasn’t talking that much spoke volumes about how uncomfortable it made him to try and be this supportive.

“Yep, we’re an item. It’s going really well so far,” Karkat said, pretending not to notice Kankri’s discomfort. He’d address that later, but he was busy milking it for now. Meanwhile, Uncle Kaz was basically living with them, so Karkat wondered if maybe he’d been homeless before Kankri went to make up with him.

“We’ll definitely have to have him over again so I can evaluate, I mean congratulate, him properly,” Kankri said.

“I’ll be sure to deliver the invitation with that exact statement,” Karkat said. “See you later.” He stepped out the door and was relieved to find Sollux already there.

“Get me the fuck out of here,” Karkat shouted the second he climbed inside.

“Don’t need two tell me twiice, even though I-I liike dualiity,” Sollux said, slamming his foot on the gas. It was going to be one of those days, and for once Karkat didn’t care.

“So Dirk Strider wants to have a discussion with me tomorrow,” Karkat blurted. So much for distracting himself from the issue.

Sollux raised an eyebrow. “I-I really hope iit iisn’t some stupiid older brother thiing where he threatens to hurt you iif you hurt Dave. He struck me as cooler than that.”

Karkat groaned. “If it is, I’m fucking bailing. I cannot imagine someone like Dirk telling me to be responsible or avoid hurting someone without being a complete hypocritical asshole.”

With a shrug, Sollux took a turn really hard, sending Karkat’s head into the window. He rubbed it with a growl. “You don’t have anythiing two worry about, really. Dave seems to liike you a lot, so don’t worry about Diirk. He can’t control Dave’s liife. Plus, I-I seriiously doubt you of all people could hurt Dave. Iif he hasn’t gotten hurt by your terriible constant stream of iinsults already, I-I thiink he’s stayiing for a whiile.”

Despite his throbbing head, Karkat smiled. “I hope you’re right, bro, but can you slow the fuck down before I fly through the windshield?”

“Riight, I-I was wonderiing when you’d ask,” Sollux said, slowing down to a little more than the speed limit instead of double it. “Plus, I-I thiink I-I already passed my house.”

Karkat facepalmed. “You did, dipshit.”

Sollux found the next semi-convenient place to do a U-turn and sped back towards his house. They finally arrived, and Karkat got out of the car before anything else could happen.

“I-I bet you’re curiious why I-I called you here,” Sollux started, smirking.

“Yeah, no shit. You’re usually not so fucking mysterious. Wait, no you hardly tell me anything unless I ask directly, so it didn’t even cross my mind that you were trying to be mysterious.”

“That’s harsh,” Sollux said with a frown. “I-I just wanted to talk about relatiionshiip stuff whiile we work on our comiic. You do remember that, riight? We diidn’t just abandon that, I-I hope.”

“Of course I remember. It was a fucking disaster, exactly the type of shitty comic Dave would drool over,” Karkat said, crossing his arms. Then, his eyes lit up. “When we’re done, we have to show it to him, that’s my one request to convince me to continue that garbage.”

“Sure, he’s probably miisiing you riight now anyway. Iit’d be a good way to make iit up to hiim.” Sollux opened the door to his room and let Karkat in before shutting and locking it. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “These really fuck wiith me when I-I wear them for long periiods of tiime,” he complained. “My viisiion gets all splotchy and weiird.”

“Then don’t wear them.”

“You know that’s not happeniing. I-I’d rather not be labeled a freak.”

“Dude, it isn’t that bad. It’s actually kind of cool to have different colored eyes. Like screw normal eyes, you have something really fucking neat, and no one even knows. Samson knows to embrace it,” Karkat said, knowing he’d bother Sollux by bringing up his twin.

“Samson never has two fuckiing deal wiith anyone, so don’t you dare compare us, asshole,” Sollux seethed, narrowing his eyes.

“Whatever. All I’m saying is, do people really like you for you if you’re always in hiding?”

“Why don’t you tell your boyfriiend that? The bastard wears sunglasses liike they’re prescriibed. At least you can see my eyes wiith miine on.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “Dave doesn’t complain about his sunglasses fucking with his vision. He kind of needs them most of the time, I think. The only times I’ve seen his eyes, his pupils are huge as hell.”

“Maybe he’s just turned on when you happen two see them. Ever consiider that? They do say that happens,” Sollux pointed out.

Blushing, Karkat looked away and sat on the desk chair. “I don’t know when he’s turned on or not. I tend not to think about it.”

“Bullshiit,” Sollux stated. “You probably fantasiize about hiim a lot. You probably wonder at any giiven moment iif he wants you iin that way.”

“I’m not fucking discussing this with you.”

“Fiine, then let’s focus on thiis comiic.” Sollux raised his eyebrows and pointed to his laptop screen that had notes and sketches pulled up. “I-I wanted two talk about my troubles, anyway.”

“Really? Trouble in robotic fucking paradise? Did you find that you’re going to electrocute the shit out of yourself the first time you do anything?”

“What?? No. I-I just can’t tell iif she’s goiing two liike me.”

“Didn’t you literally program her to be your girlfriend or something equally awful?”

“Not exactly. I-I programmed her two have some free wiill, but I-I also made her the perfect match for me.”

“So you designed your dream girl without giving her the inclination to actually want to be your girl. I guess that solves the morality issue,” Karkat said thoughtfully. “What’s the matter? Are you finding that she actually finds you revolting?”

“I-I don’t thiink so. Iit’s more liike, iif I-I spliit creatiing her wiith someone else, can I-I really claiim her as my own? And even thiinkiing of ‘claiimiing’ her makes me feel liike the whole thiing iis wrong and you were riight. Maybe I-I should just let her go iinto the world as another person and forget the whole thiing about datiing her.”

“But what about you? I thought you were doing this because you’re lonely.”

“I-I am, don’t get me wrong, but the jealousy I-I’m already feeliing iis scariing me. I-I thiink we’re both goiing two get hurt iif I-I go for iit. Then, there’s Equiius.”

“What about that asshat?”

“I-I thiink he also has an iidea that he’ll get two date her, siince he physiically buiilt her. Thiis whole objectiifiicatiion iis probably my fault, but I-I’m startiing two feel siick about iit. I-I started two realiize thiis after talkiing two Dave about iit.”

“Huh, well I bet she’ll have her own opinions about the whole shitshow, and as long as you stopped seeing her as an object and started seeing her as a person, then you’re going to be okay. Just think about it like you would a normal rejection. If she later chooses you and you still like her, then you can date, but if not, let her go.”

“I-I feel really vulnerable and weak. I-I wiish I-I could just date someone so I-I’d stop feeliing liike thiis.”

“I think it’d be better if you didn’t rely on dating a person to make yourself feel better. That’s something you have to do yourself, otherwise you’re no better than Eridan,” Karkat stated. “Plus, you haven’t exactly looked for someone to date since you’ve been building Aradia, have you?”

“No.”

“Who knows, maybe someone likes you. But that still doesn’t mean you get out of fixing yourself. You’re a fucking mess, man.”

“I-I know,” Sollux sighed, putting his face in his hands. “I-I keep telliing myself iit’ll get better, but I-I even consiidered Eriidan earliier today, for less than a second, but iit stiill popped iinto my miind.”

“Fuck, that’s not good. You’re resorting to something familiar, even though it was totally awful.” Karkat almost looked scared. “Whatever you do, you cannot fucking go back to that bitch. As soon as you get out of this rut, I’m taking you out to meet more people. There are better relationships out there for you, trust me. You deserve better than him.”

“I-I keep telliing myself that, but then I-I questiion myself and feel liike I-I’m beiing dragged back two that state.”

“Sollux, I don’t know what to tell you other than you can’t let yourself fall back on past mistakes. You won’t grow as a person, and you’ll never find someone good if you do this shit,” Karkat said. He had a hand on Sollux’s shoulder by this point. “Do you remember what Eridan told you about your fucking eyes? That loser deserves to burn.”

Sollux nodded and some anger glittered in his eyes. “You’re riight. He treated me liike shiit and he’s the absolute worst. I-I wiish I-I could just forget that ever happened.”

Karkat hugged his best friend lightly, knowing he sometimes went through low emotional states like this. He secretly wondered if that was the real reason he’d invited him over: he didn’t want to be alone when he felt so bad. They spent the rest of the evening drawing and writing for their comic and got some decent progress on it. It served to distract them from their individual worries, for the most part. Then, Karkat slept on the floor while Sollux crashed on his bed.

When Karkat got back to his house in the morning, he received a text from Dave asking if he wanted to go on a double date with Tavros and Jake to see a ‘possibly but probably not actually’ ironic play. He smiled and said he’d love to go before quickly getting ready, since Sollux was waiting outside to drive them to campus. He could tell during the drive there that Sollux was already in a marginally better mood. As long as he didn’t fall so low as to turn to Eridan again, they’d be avoiding a crisis. Karkat just hoped his friend wouldn’t do anything unpredictable like he’d done in the past. He gave him a reassuring smile and then went to class. There wasn’t any amount of good advice he could give him at that point.

Creative writing flew by, and Karkat hardly even wrote a sentence before it was over. His mind was all over the place. He checked one last time to make sure the glove was in his bag, because he felt like he had to prove he was competent to Dirk for some weird reason. He told himself that he was probably overthinking it, but then when he saw him just sitting there silently in the food court without any food waiting for him to show up, he almost ran away. Dirk, however, noticed him while he paused there, trying to get up the nerve to either flee or walk forward.

“Sit down,” Dirk said quietly, motioning to the seat across from him.

Karkat tensed up and sat down, pulling out the glove and sliding it across the table for him. “Yeah, this was in the fucking park for some reason,” he said, trying to sound casual.

“Don’t want to talk about it,” Dirk said, and Karkat could’ve sworn he picked up on some embarrassment somewhere in his expression. “I need to tell you some things about my little bro.”

“Oh shit, this _is_ going to be the big brother talk.”

Dirk raised an eyebrow. “I don’t really know what that means, but sure. Here’s the deal. Dave hasn’t dated anyone before, and so he has no fucking clue what he’s doing.”

“You didn’t have to tell me that,” Karkat said, already annoyed. “I know. I _do_ talk to Dave.”

“So, that means that he won’t be able to easily instigate anything, even if he really wants to do something. It falls on you to make some kind of move. When it’s time, you’re going to have to take initiative.”

Karkat spluttered. “Excuse me?”

“You’re probably going to have to top. At least that first time. Otherwise you guys won’t end up doing anything,” Dirk stated. He seemed completely serious.

“I think I’m a little lost. Are you fucking telling me to have sex with your brother?”

“I’m telling you you’re going to have to man up when the time comes to do the deed, yes.”

“This is not how I thought this interaction would go at all,” Karkat stated, slamming his hands on the table and pushing his chair away in the same movement. “I think I’m done here.”

“But I’m not. Karkat, listen to me for a second. Try not to fuck this up,” he said.

There was the threat Karkat had expected to receive. “I’m not planning on it.”

“Good, because I know where you live and almost everything about you,” Dirk said.

“Fucking stalker.”

“I just did my research on who Dave was dating. I’m supposed to protect him, otherwise our dad would bite off my head.” Dirk raised his hands innocently before crossing his arms. His glove was already back on his hand, although Karkat couldn’t remember seeing him pull it on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it's actually kind of weird how much Dirk and Sollux are paralleling each other at this point with their views on relationships.


	22. Getting to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has to have another conversation with Dirk about romance, and namely Dirk's issues finding a boyfriend, but Dave puts that aside to spend some quality time with Karkat instead.

Dave made sure to tell Jake that they were in for the play double date. He still wasn’t sure what could possibly be ironic about Shakespeare or whatever the hell it was, but he was willing to at least give Jake a shot. Jake had to have some sense of irony, otherwise Dirk wouldn’t have pined after him for so long, right? He hadn’t talked to or seen Karkat for most of the day, and he had to admit he missed him. Dave was just about to text him to see if he wanted to get something to eat when he got a text. He raised his eyebrows, a little surprised the text popped up as soon as he grabbed his phone. It was from Dirk.

**You were right**

**Dude, let me take a fucking screenshot of this rare artifact**

**Equius is the worst. I cannot believe I almost considered touching his sweaty mass of muscles in a romantic way**

**You didn’t ‘almost consider’ anything. You were all ready to do that shit and I had to talk you off of the bridge of romantic suicide**

**Suicide jokes aren’t very funny, Dave. Let me finish what I was saying. I walked into my dorm after talking to your boyfriend and found a catastrophe**

**Don’t tell me he…**

**Yeah, he broke it. That Sailor Moon figurine**

**Huh, that kind of sucks**

**Do you know how hard I had to work to keep Dad from finding that and ridiculing me for the rest of my life?**

**Not very. He didn’t really snoop into our rooms**

**Yeah right, you didn’t know him like I did. I had to keep this thing on constant lockdown. It might’ve even been my prized possession, and Equius fucking broke it while doing one of his stupid workouts that doesn’t even help strengthen his body properly. When I asked him about it, he just told me that anime was a low life endeavor. Then, to top it off, he also crashed into my succulents and the whole room reeks like horseshit and b.o.**

**Man sounds like a real tornado**

**This isn’t funny, Dave. I have one less option on people I could possibly date. Now, it’s whittled down to Gamzee. And I guess I like clowns a fair amount anyway, so it shouldn’t be too bad**

**No. Bro, you cannot date a fucking juggalo. I’m drawing the line there. You don’t even like when people get mildly tipsy, so how are you going to handle this constantly intoxicated pile of clown makeup and pacifistic musings?**

**You have a point, but what else am I supposed to do?**

**Maybe try dating yourself for a while before launching at the nearest male**

**Is that a narcissistic jab of some sort?**

**Wtf, no. It means to get to know yourself before you let someone else into your life to get to know you**

**I know my self extremely well, so I think I can bypass that**

**Well it sounds like you’re trying to ignore yourself, then. You seriously thought you could date these people? Yet I was able to tell you your own beliefs. Maybe it’s okay if you still like Jake, because at least he’s your type or whatever**

**But the point is, I don’t want to be alone**

**Why not? It’s not the end of the world. I was alone for twenty years, and I managed just fine**

**You don’t get it. It’s different for me. I don’t want to talk about it, but believe me that when I’m alone, things are way worse**

**Is that why you date people when you know you don’t like them?**

**Yes. If the world was a perfect place, I’d probably be with Jake, but it looks like that’s not happening anytime soon**

**I don’t think I ever asked, but what do you like so much about him anyway?**

Dirk didn’t respond to that, and Dave realized he’d been texting him for quite a bit, just standing there at the edge of the food court. He texted Karkat to see if he’d get food with him, hoping he wasn’t too late. Finally, he saw a response from Dirk a few minutes later.

**I guess everything. I can’t seem to get him out of my mind. He’s totally ridiculous most of the time, but somehow I just can’t get over him, ever since the moment I realized he was attractive. I guess it reassures me, because I know he’d never be in a position to make fun of me, even if I were to open up to him**

**So, basically you’re comfortable with the idea that he seems inferior due to being into silly things**

**That’s not what I mean. That makes it sound like I’m trashing on him, which I don’t want to do**

Karkat showed up rather quickly, since he was already near the food court after talking to Dirk. He sat across from Dave with a small smile on his face.

“How do you feel about PDA?” Dave asked, putting his phone away. He was done talking in circles with Dirk.

“Uh, I don’t know. How do _you_ feel about it?” Karkat turned the question around.

“I feel like at first I’d feel like I was going to pass out.”

“Seriously?”

“Nah, we’ve already basically done PDA before, so I think I’m cool with it,” Dave said with a grin. “My point is, can you come over here?”

Rolling his eyes, Karkat moved to sit in the same booth as Dave and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He planted a kiss on his cheek. “There, does this satisfy his royal neediness?”

“Yes,” Dave said, blushing. “Sorry.” He was worried Karkat would see him as clingy and think he was like Eridan.

“Don’t apologize. There’s this thing during the first week or so of dating where couples are usually super affectionate and close, as if they’re insecure until they’ve been together for long enough and can’t be separated. You’re entitled to as much affection as you want,” Karkat said. “I won’t fucking complain or anything, I was just joking.”

“I guess I still just need reassurance that this is real,” Dave said, nuzzling into him.

“That’s fine,” Karkat muttered loudly. “But don’t we need to actually eat?”

Dave lifted his head as if he’d just remembered what they were doing. “Oh, right." He awkwardly slid from Karkat’s arm and stood up to get some food from the buffet. Karkat stopped him.

“Wait, that doesn’t mean you have to just run away. I’ll still be with you,” he said, taking Dave’s hand in his.

They walked towards the entrees hand in hand, catching the attention of some of the other students.

“So, shouldn’t we start getting to know each other better?” Dave asked, grabbing a plate with one hand and loading it up with spaghetti.

“Yeah, that’d be smart,” Karkat responded, although he was focusing really hard on getting his food to his plate one-handed.

“What’s your favorite color?” Dave asked, easily balancing his plate.

“Easy, it’s grey.”

“Woah, really?”

“Yes, why the fuck would I lie about that? What’s yours?” Karkat was getting increasingly frustrated as he accidentally spilled some food, but he refused to let go of Dave’s hand, as if proving a point.

“Red, obviously,” Dave said, watching Karkat with some concern. “Do you need the use of your other hand? You’re struggling hardcore over there.”

“Nope, I’m _fine_.” Karkat lifted his plate.

“If you say so.” Dave felt ready to grab the plate if it fell.

“I really need to know, why are you still scared to tell your dad about yourself?” Karkat asked next. Then, his plate practically flipped out of his hands.

With surprising speed, Dave let go of Karkat’s hand and grabbed the plate in such a motion that it scooped the food back up before it fell. He offered it to Karkat, who was stunned, before answering his question. “He was really kind of nonexistent in my life, but when he did talk to me, he usually pointed out that I wasn’t growing up to become enough of a man. He acted like Dirk would have to protect me indefinitely simply because I wasn’t shaping up the way he wanted me to. Once, he even drew a sword on me when I said I liked listening to Tegan and Sara.”

Karkat’s inner fan of _Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda_ was screaming, but he had to push it down to focus on the rest of what Dave had said before mentioning the band. “That sounds like some toxic masculinity shit. He literally had gay lovers over to your house while raising two children and you think he’d be upset that you’re gay? I think I see where you’re coming from, but it seems really fucking hypocritical to me.” He walked with his plate held firmly in both hands all the way back to the booth.

Dave knew that Karkat was right, at least from his standpoint, but something about his intuition and the way that Dirk talking about their dad made Dave hesitant to risk anything in telling him any more about his life than he already knew. “What types of music do you like to listen to?”

“Hmm,” Karkat thought while chewing his current bite of food. “I’m kind of all over the place. I like stuff with good lyrics, preferably dark and emotional or romantic and sentimental. What’s your favorite Tegan and Sara song?”

“Probably Boyfriend or The First.”

Karkat really did scream out loud on accident, earning him a confused look from Dave. “You’re fucking perfect,” he said.

“Uh, thanks,” Dave muttered, glancing around to see if anyone was staring. No one appeared to be, and he assumed it could’ve been because Karkat was generally loud anyway. “Why did you just freak out when I said that?”

“So I had this book club where I read the book of that movie we watched, Love, Simon, and the main character really liked Tegan and Sara so I started listening to them, and Boyfriend was such a good song.”

“Oh, yeah it is,” Dave agreed with a smile. “I just realized the lyrics kind of explain how we were acting before we were official, huh?”

“Wow, you’re right,” Karkat said.

Dave finished his food and leaned lightly on Karkat while he was waiting for him to finish. “Do you think class is going to be tough today?” He idly asked.

“For you, probably.”

“Hey, don’t be an asshole about your intelligence privilege,” Dave said.

“Don’t start sounding like my dad,” Karkat shot back, but the air between them was light with teasing. “You know I always help you when you don’t understand what’s going on.”

Something occurred to Dave in the middle of the conversation. “Wait, why were you talking to Dirk earlier today?”

Karkat almost panicked. There was no way he was going to tell Dave what their conversation was about, even jokingly. “I had to return his glove to him. Lost and found stuff,” he said hurriedly.

“Is that all?”

“Uh, pretty much. He also threatened me, but it’s all good.” Karkat didn’t like keeping things from Dave, so he decided to throw in as much of the truth as he could. “He also gave me some advice.”

“Advice about what?” Dave asked, now really confused. He wasn’t leaning on Karkat anymore so he could look at him more directly.

“You know, life,” Karkat said vaguely. He was struggling to keep calm. There was no way he could think about sexual things involving Dave while he was sitting so close their legs were touching.

“ _Dirk_ gave you life advice?”

“Yep.” Karkat looked like he might explode, so Dave didn’t push him any further. He debated asking his brother about it but assumed Karkat didn’t want him to know for a good reason.


	23. Fights and Plays and Playfights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake starts to feel unsure about his relationship with Tavros, and after finding something out, he needs some time to himself to think. Instead, he runs into the last person he'd expect to help him figure things out. Dave and Karkat go to the double date with Jake and are surprised both by what they find and the play itself. Then, Dave finds out some priceless blackmail material from a disheveled, distraught clown.

It was the night before the planned double date. Jake was trying to get his outfit ready for the occasion, because although the performance was a comedy for the most part, the venue was still decently fancy. He modeled some of his outfits for Tavros to get advice.

“I think this one would, uh, look the best,” Tavros said.

“Is it hot on me?” Jake asked. “Am I dashing?”

“Uhm, sure. If that’s what you want it to be then I don’t see why not,” Tavros said, shrugging despite how awkward he looked.

“No, I mean, do you like it? Does it butter your biscuits?” Jake asked, adjusting his bowtie.

“Wh-what?” He spluttered.

“Does it warm the hearth?” Jake tried instead, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t think I uh follow what exactly you’re asking there, J-Jake.” Tavros was now gripping his wheelchair with a concerned look on his face.

Jake took a step closer to him and leaned over him. “Does it turn you on, Tavros?” He asked in a quiet tone.

“Uh…” Tavros didn’t know what to do. “Jake, I need to tell you something um difficult.”

Immediately backing up, Jake sat down to listen to what he had to say. He now looked worried. “Might as well get on with it, then,” he said softly.

“Ever since the uh since I was um paralyzed, I’ve had s-some issues. I have erectile d-dysfunction,” Tavros said, shutting his eyes as if he feared the world would fall down around him when he admitted it. “So even when I kind of am turned on, I uh can’t really uh you know um do it.”

Jake blinked a few times, letting it all settle in. “Wow, gosh Tavros, how did I not know this sooner, my boy? I think I’m going to go out tonight,” he added, and he was uncharacteristically distant and didn’t meet Tavros’ eyes when he said it, almost as if he was in a daze. He planted a kiss on the boy’s head and slipped out the door.

Outside, Jake was overly conscious of how nice he looked. It was a shame he wasn’t actually planning on going anywhere that night really, he just needed to distance himself from the fool he’d just made of himself and think about his options. He also needed a distraction more than anything. While he was grappling in his mind with what could possibly help him, he ran across a conveniently placed bench and sat down. After staring at his hands for a while, he settled his face into them. He couldn’t figure out how he could make things work or break things off without someone getting hurt.

“Damn, did someone stand you up or something?” A familiar voice asked, startling Jake out of his thoughts. He looked up.

“Goodness, Dirk. How do you always manage to appear out of the shadows?” Jake asked. He sounded annoyed. “Now isn’t exactly the time to deal with our usual charade.”

“I’m not going to flirt with you, if that’s what you mean. You look like garbage decided to take a shit on you while the sky rained on your parade,” Dirk said, hesitantly sitting beside him. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to now, or ever, but I think I’m all you have for the moment if you need to spill.”

“It’s not really any of your business…but you’re right. I don’t really have anyone else to talk to about this pickle I’m in,” Jake said with a sigh. “I’m starting to question my relationship with Tavros.”

Dirk feigned surprise, although he’d been expecting Jake to tire of his roommate much sooner. “Did you have a fight?” He asked.

“Not exactly. I walked out on him like a real twisted mister. He confided something in me, and I panicked. Or maybe that was just the straw to break the camel’s back. I may have had doubts for a bit there and this just helped confirm them. We aren’t going anywhere as a couple, in every sense of the expression,” Jake said, sounding really bummed about it.

“What do you think would make you feel better?” Dirk asked. He wanted to tell Jake there were other fish in the sea, but it seemed too self-serving in that moment. He wanted to do a lot of things, but what good was he as a potential boyfriend if he kept screwing things up before they even began?

“This is going to sound silly, but I kind of miss wrestling club from high school,” Jake said out of nowhere. “All that struggling to prove physical prowess helped keep my mind off of my troubles.”

Dirk raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t expected something so out of left field. “You could start a workout routine,” he finally suggested. “I could give you some pointers on how to train and keep yourself fit.”

Jake shook his head. “Thanks, but I’ll decline that offer. I was thinking of something a little different.” His goofy smile was kind of scaring Dirk, because he didn’t know what he was planning. “Fight me,” he said.

“What?”

“I’ve been frustrated with you for years, so you’re as good a target as any, plus, you’re strong to boot, so I’m a little curious who would win.”

“You want to wrestle with me…in a suit?” Dirk asked.

“Of course not! This suit was more expensive than a suite in a nice hotel,” Jake said, sounding mildly offended. He took off his suit jacket.

“I haven’t agreed to fight you yet.”

“Well, will you? I’m raring to go,” Jake said, starting to move like a Mortal Kombat character preparing to fight.

“I don’t really feel comfortable throwing punches with you,” Dirk said hesitantly. He really didn’t want his fighter instincts to kick in while he was playfighting his crush.

“Then we’ll stick to tackling only. First one to make the other not be able to rise off of the ground is the champ,” Jake proposed, cracking his knuckles.

It just kept getting worse. Dirk couldn’t believe Jake was basically planning on trying to _pin_ him to the ground to get over his boyfriend troubles. He supposed he’d made worse mistakes before than he was about to make. “Fine, but remember that you were the dingus who suggested this when it turns into a hot mess,” Dirk said, already in his ready to fight position: standing in place with his arms crossed.

“Should we count down?” Jake asked, still bobbing back and forth like a fool.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One,” they both said, preparing to launch into action.

Dirk met Jake first, but he miscalculated how much force they’d collide with and actually ended up getting rebuffed by his own energy, working in Jake’s favor. The other student took the opportunity to shove Dirk down towards the ground, grabbing him at the last moment to keep from slamming his head into the dirt. The act of mercy gave Dirk just enough of a leg up to trip Jake from below, although he wasn’t heartless enough to let him drop like a sack of potatoes either, so he made him fall on top of him before quickly getting out of there and back onto his feet while Jake reoriented himself. He waited a few seconds for Jake to stand back up before attacking again, this time managing to off-balance him enough to topple him over. Dirk felt he was about to have an easy victory as he pinned the body under his, but he misgauged just how much sheer force Jake had. In his confidence, he didn’t count on being muscled into a sitting position and then onto his back, bending his legs painfully under his weight. He winced.

Jake noticed the discomfort on Dirk’s face even when he tried to hide it and let up to let him resituate himself. They were both panting, and Dirk struggled against Jake, finding it strange how difficult it was to get away from him.

“You know, I probably would’ve dated you a long time ago if you weren’t so heart set on always being such a romantic,” Jake said. “Perhaps it was another piece of your irony, but it drove me up the wall how over the top you always were about it. It was hard to even think about giving you a chance because your feelings were always in my face like a garish painting.” He gave a triumphant look. “Five, four, three-”

Dirk found the motivation and the opening to flip them and managed to actually successfully pin Jake this time. “If you’d just told me that, I probably would’ve listened, you know.” Jake looked up at him, defeated. They stayed like that for five seconds while Dirk was silently counting down in his head. Then, he stood up and offered a hand to help Jake up. Jake wiped some stray spittle from his mouth and took Dirk’s offered hand with his other hand.

“Thank you kindly,” Jake said, rubbing dirt from his undershirt.

“Yeah, no problem,” Dirk muttered. He couldn’t get what Jake had said out of his head, but he wasn’t about to keep talking about it without risking sounding desperate again.

“I think this helped me think much clearer about this whole deal with Tavros,” Jake added. “I guess, what it boils down to is, I missed you. As much as I dislike the implications of that.”

“Really?” Dirk asked with a smirk.

“Don’t let that feed your monstrous ego.”

“Too late.”

Jake found himself smiling. He couldn’t help it. As much as Dirk drove him nuts, somehow being around him alone just felt much less forced than trying to cultivate a relationship with Tavros. He couldn’t believe he’d spent so long playing extra hard to get only to basically fall into Dirk’s waiting arms the moment he had a problem with his love life. Then, dread inhabited his insides when he remembered that the next day was the date. He didn’t know what to do about the way he was feeling about it, and Dirk seemed to pick up on that.

“What is it this time?” He asked, crossing his arms again.

“It’s just, there’s a terribly important date tomorrow that I didn’t want to go sideways, but how am I going to hold it together if I have to pretend everything’s just smooth sailing? I don’t want Dave to be slighted, and I can’t exactly break the news to Tavros tonight, but if I go through with the date, won’t it just be extra awful when I tell him afterwards? Oh dear,” Jake fretted.

“Just tell him tonight and go with me,” Dirk said. “What are you even doing on this date?”

“We’re going to a play. I don’t think it’d really be your cup of tea.”

“I’ll go. This is for Dave at this point, and I don’t want his date to get ruined just because you’re switching who you want. I’m probably supposed to be there anyway to protect him and all that.”

“It’s going to be harder than herding cats to tell Tavros, especially because we share a room,” Jake pointed out. “Now I feel like a real jerk again. What am I supposed to say? ‘Hi, sorry chap but you can’t get it up so I’m getting out?’ It’s not like that’s _why_ , it just so happened to be a part of my realization.” He frowned.

Dirk’s mouth curved up into a smile and he stifled a chuckle. “You’re such a mess. Do you need me to hold your hand through this?”

“No, I can fight my own battles,” Jake insisted. “There’s just going to be a lot of blood and tears shed.”

“That’s a cheery thought.”

“Not really. Tavros will probably just flop into his bed like a pancake and not move from there until I leave the premises.”

“Then what are you stalling for?”

“I always loathe breakups,” Jake whined.

“You can do this. You have to,” Dirk stated. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He started to walk away, because he needed a while to process what had just happened.

Jake watched him leave and slumped. He picked up his suit jacket and sucked in a breath, telling himself he had the strength to do this. He walked back to his dorm and slowly opened the door. Tavros was sitting at his desk working on a speech and didn’t even really look up when the door opened.

“I don’t uh really think we should keep um dating,” he said without looking up, as if he was afraid of the reaction.

“That’s alright with me,” Jake said, trying to sound encouraging to Tavros so it didn’t sound like he thought he was a bad person.

“I’m going to take Aradia to the play since she’s never uh you know seen one before,” Tavros stated.

“Oh, I’m going to take Dirk,” Jake said, choosing not to explain himself, even when Tavros finally looked up to give him some kind of look that he couldn’t decode.

“What about our assigned seats?” Tavros asked.

“If you let me keep the ones I already bought, I’ll buy you two new ones anywhere in the theater,” Jake offered. It was the least he could do after what he put Tavros through. He made him cosplay as a president for multiple days, for pete’s sake.

Before he went to bed, Jake hopped online and purchased the two extra tickets, making sure to ask Tavros where he wanted to be seated. Despite the awkward tension in the air, he was sure to be courteous and gentlemanly about it. He guessed it was good that Tavros wasn’t crying at least, and he hadn’t expected Tavros to break things off before he even could. He changed in his closet, because it felt strange changing in the same room that Tavros was in after what had happened. Then, he slid under his blanket and thought about the events of that night. He wondered if this meant he’d actually try to date Dirk after holding out for so long. The thought scared and excited him.

Dave told Karkat to come over to his dorm before the date to help him get ready. Neither of them had any clue what to expect, so they’d agreed to dress semi-formal. Karkat wore a shirt with a collar under his sweater and slacks when he arrived. Dave was stuck between a red suit and a black button up with red buttons.

“Obviously the button up,” Karkat said immediately. “You’d look like a hot ass spy.”

“Wait, my shirt makes my ass look hot?” Dave asked, checking himself in the mirror.

Karkat facepalmed. “No, if you keep doing dumb shit I swear I’m going to facepalm my brain into mush. What I mean is, you’ll look 70% hotter in the button up. Plus, I’m sure it’s more comfortable than that suit.”

“True. Well if you think it’s hot, then who am I to deny you the scenery?” Dave asked. He took off his pajama shirt and Karkat forced himself not to stare at his faint muscle definition. Buttoning the shirt up, he turned to look at Karkat. “I will say the dorky collar under the sweater look suits you a lot better than I expected. You look about 69% hotter than expected.”

“You just had to say sixty-nine, didn’t you?”

“…Yeah.”

“Fucking child.”

“Aww, but I was paying you a compliment,” Dave whined.

“We’re going to be late if you take any longer on that last button,” Karkat stated, feeling impatient.

“Do you really want to be early to meet Jake and Tavros? I feel like this whole date thing is going to be awkward as hell, so I figured showing up right before it begins would be best,” Dave reasoned, checking his hair in the mirror.

Finally, they walked towards the theater on campus, because apparently it was actually a campus production. Dave hadn’t done any research into it, because he wanted to be surprised if there was any irony. Boy was he surprised.

After reaching the theater, Dave led Karkat towards their assigned seats and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw spiked blonde hair instead of Tavros’ mohawk hybrid thing. There was no doubting that hairstyle, but Dave couldn’t comprehend why Dirk of all people would be there sitting beside Jake calmly. He walked around to see his brother’s face as if to confirm that it was him. Dirk just waved at him. It wasn’t like he was doing anything coupley with Jake. He was just sitting there next to him coexisting. They weren’t even really talking, and yet the air between them seemed pacified.

Dave led Karkat past the other two and sat down. He snuggled into Karkat from the other seat even though it wasn’t particularly comfortable, and Karkat seemed tense. He welcomed the physical contact to ground him and keep him from getting overly nervous that the person who’d threatened him only the day before was now sitting there presumably on a double date with them.

The play started, and it was a strange mashup of Peter Pan and Shrek the musical that a college student had written. Dave had to admit that it was the closest thing to having ironic value he’d ever seen in a play, so he supposed Jake did a decent job of choosing it. He also just enjoyed the fact that Shrek was still important to his relationship with Karkat. He’d probably also heard bits and pieces of Allstar for the last several days while making his song. He was actually crying by the time the intermission was about to start because it got so beautiful. Then, he remembered the issue in the room, and when the lights went up and Dirk got up to get some concessions, Dave hurried after him.

In front of the concession stand, Dave stopped his brother. “What the fuck did you do, you weasel?”

“I did exactly what you said. I went on a date with myself and took myself for a walk, and what do you know, I ran into Jake having an emotional breakdown on the way. Sue me for helping him out.”

“But how did Jake go from happily dating Tavros yesterday morning to taking you on a date the next day?”

“Tavros broke up with him after they kind of had a fight but probably not actually, knowing them. If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t exactly clarified whether we’re dating or not. I might just be here to make sure Jake isn’t a third wheel, at this point.”

“I guess that makes some sense. Are you going to officially ask him out at some point?”

“I don’t know. After what he said to me last night, I don’t know if he wants me to. I found out I’d been going about it all wrong with being romantic, so maybe I’ll play hard to get instead and make him ask me.” Dirk shrugged, feigning indifference to the whole matter despite wanting to date Jake and having multiple crises over it through the years.

“Whatever you think is best. I’m done trying to give you advice, man. It’s exhausting,” Dave groaned.

“I’ll just come to you when I have my heart broken, then,” Dirk offered.

“That might be _worse_.” Dave ordered himself an apple juice since the person running the concession stand was just staring at them standing there arguing. There wasn’t a line or anything, so it was probably awkward for them to witness the whole conversation.

Leaving Dirk behind to get whatever he initially intended to buy, Dave walked back to his seat and found Karkat deep in a conversation with Jake about the existence of fancy hats.

“I think they’re absolutely fucking stupid. The second you need to take the hat off for anything, everyone’s going to know how terrible your hair is under them. It’s better to just make sure your hair is tamed before a ‘fancy’ social event,” Karkat loudly argued.

“But hats add to the pizazz! When you show up with a suit and matching hat, people know you mean business and that you’re stylish to boot. Only people who don’t have a good hat complain that hats aren’t useful,” Jake countered. Karkat looked like he was about to swat the hat directly off of Jake’s head.

Dave sat between them before the nonsensical argument could progress any further. “I got apple juice, guys. Anyone want some? If you pull up a cup, I’m totally willing to dish it out.”

“No, Dave. No one wants your shitty juice. I’m sure it’s only like 10% apple anyway,” Karkat grumbled.

“Karkat’s really into the percentages tonight,” Dave told Jake.

“Don’t talk about me like I’m a child.”

“At least I’m not downright calling you a child to your face like you’ve done to me several times,” Dave said.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Karkat settled down and grabbed the juice to steal a sip before handing it back and making a face. Just like that, Dave felt at peace with him and passed the drink back and forth as the play started back up. He wasn’t really invested in what was happening next after that, because he was too distracted by Karkat showing him affection and trying to see if Dirk was seriously going to maintain indifference throughout the entire time. He swore he saw his gloved hand brush against Jake’s on the armrest once, but other than that, he didn’t move.

Karkat held Dave’s hand and even sneakily kissed him on the cheek when it was particularly dark once. He didn’t really see the point of the play, but Dave seemed to really like it, so he didn’t complain about it. To get him back, Dave tried to kiss his cheek but greatly misestimated and ended up kissing his neck. Since it was a sensitive place, Karkat tensed up and gripped his hand tighter when it happened. He hadn’t expected it, and it was ridiculous how easily it turned him on. It wasn’t a good situation to be in.

The play finally ended, and Dave was much less emotional than he had been during the first half, probably because he had been so distracted. Plus, the finale wasn’t as great as he would’ve made it. He would’ve rather seen Peter Pan and Shrek do some impromptu eloping. Somehow, Dirk was gone before the house lights even went back up, leaving Jake to look really awkward and lost. Karkat wished he had a hat about then and stood beside Dave. He just wanted to get out of there before he could embarrass himself in such an atmosphere.

“Thanks for taking us to see this,” Dave said with a partial smile.

“No problem, I hope it was right up your alley,” Jake said, beaming at him despite how distracted he was, presumably by Dirk’s unannounced disappearance. Dave wasn’t really sure that’s what playing hard to get entailed, but it definitely seemed to bother Jake.

“It was more entertaining than I expected, I’ll give you that. I’d like to rewrite the ending a bit there, but no complains here.”

“I’m glad I got to formally meet you,” Jake said, turning to Karkat, “even though we disagree on some matters of dress code. Now, please don’t think me rude, but I need to go see where Dirk went off to,” he added in a rush.

“No worries, dude. I hope you find him before he becomes a shadow or some shit like that,” Dave said.

Jake practically ran out of the theater.

“We should get the hell out of here, too,” Karkat said with a note of urgency.

Dave raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t question it. He pulled Karkat through the crowd by his hand and got them outside.

“Did I accidentally do something wrong?” Dave finally asked once they were some distance from the building. His eyebrows scrunched up with concern.

“Not really. I just, you kissed my neck and it’s sensitive,” Karkat stammered, looking away.

“If you want to get me back, you could try to find where I’m sensitive?” Dave offered.

Karkat’s eyes widened. “That’s probably the worst line of action I could take right now. I don’t think you understand. I have a fucking boner that won’t go away, and I really don’t think getting more physical with you would help the situation. I’d be scared of going past your boundaries.” He made a face that Dave couldn’t quite figure out what it meant.

“Oh,” Dave muttered. “But other than that, are you okay? You look really upset.”

“Before, I had someone try to get sexual with me really early in the relationship, and I panicked and things got really weird between us,” Karkat said. “Granted, it involved me realizing my sexuality and everything, but I don’t want to fuck things up with you. I think it’s best I just go home.”

“O-okay,” Dave stuttered uncharacteristically. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know if Karkat wanted to hug him goodbye, so he just stood there nervously. “Do you seriously trust yourself so little?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Even though I haven’t ever done anything, I’m scared I’d be inclined to.”

“Karkat, look at me. I trust you. I’ve told you some of my deepest secrets, and I want to spend every moment with you. I think you should stay, just to prove to yourself that you’re trustworthy. You need to have some confidence in yourself.”

“Fine, do you want me to stay at the park with you?” Karkat asked, looking at Dave and wondering what expression was on his face under his shades.

“Sure. You can try sitting and calming down to get rid of it. I’ve heard that meditation and stuff can help,” Dave said.

“Good point,” Karkat muttered. He sat down on one of the benches and slowed his breathing. Dave waited nearby, trying not to do anything to distract him from distracting himself. After several minutes, he was fully relaxed into the bench, and he opened his eyes. “It worked,” he said softly. Dave smiled some, and Karkat swore it looked like an expression of triumph and pride.

“I knew you’d be fine,” Dave said.

“Yeah, come here and give me a kiss on my cheek this time,” Karkat said, pointing as if Dave needed to be guided.

As Dave leaned in to gently plant a kiss where Karkat indicated, he heard a honk from the nearby bushes and froze. Gamzee game strolling out of the undergrowth as if it was a normal place to spend one’s time.

“Hey, bros,” Gamzee greeted calmly. “You wouldn’t believe what happened to your favorite clown motherfucker just now.”

“What is it?” Dave deadpanned.

“Some guy in all black just ran through the bush I was chillin in. Like he almost motherfuckin trampled me. I was just getting my sip on with this new drink I found in the garbage can and he just barreled the fuck through like the bush was the street and he was a semi. He almost broke my arm,” Gamzee complained, holding out the aforementioned arm with a frown. Then, he got a text, his notification honking several times in succession, and checked it as if he hadn’t just been talking to them.

“What did he look like besides wearing all black?” Karkat asked, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, now that I get my think on about that shit, I think it was Equius’ roommate. You know, the one who went to a party dressed as one of those cartoon babes or something as a joke. As the authority on funny things at parties, though, I didn’t find it very funny. It looked more like he enjoyed being in that costume, and I think the motherfucker spent like actual money on it. I thought party clothes were supposed to come from homeless people and thrift stores and shit. It’s not like a cosplay fucking convention, you know brother?”

Gamzee was annoyingly not drunk. It was almost like he was on speed, he was talking so fast. Dave had trouble keeping up with what he said, but when he finally pieced it all together, he wheezed and laughed so hard he was crying. “Please tell me Dirk was dressed as a Vocaloid.”

Gamzee shrugged. He didn’t know anything about anime stuff or Vocaloids. “He just had really motherfuckin short shorts and something like a bow in his hair. Isn’t it usually spiked or something? It was just now, but at the party it was like down.”

“Oh my fucking god. He went as Kagamine Rin to a frat party. I’m totally asking him about this one,” Dave said, immediately pulling out his phone to bother his brother about his failed ironic cosplaying.

“But what about him almost breaking my arm?” Gamzee asked, holding up his arm as if it was limp.

Dave ignored him, and Karkat was busy making a note to himself to make parody art of Dave and Dirk as Kagamine Len and Rin later. He was already chuckling at the possibilities. Gamzee eventually got distracted by a firefly and wandered away from them. When it was almost dinnertime, Karkat hugged Dave goodbye and planted an extended kiss on his temple before nuzzling into him. Dave was glad he made Karkat stay instead of running away out of self-uncertainty. Then, it occurred to him that Gamzee probably heard their entire conversation, and he blushed in embarrassment, hiding it in Karkat’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than expected, but to make up for it, it also ended up being longer than I thought. This was a strange turning of events that just kind of happened as I was writing it, so hopefully it works out okay. Or maybe it won't!


	24. Solving Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After running out of the theater and through the woods, Jake finally catches up to Dirk. Rose confronts Jade over text about her grudge against Kanaya, and they figure out a solution to the underlying problem. Meanwhile, Vriska and Terezi start to plan something to check if their boyfriend is the same person. Dave finally finishes his song for Karkat and wonders why Dirk won't give him feedback on it. Dave then ends up getting Rose to help in what is becoming way more involved than he bargained for.

Jake paused to gasp for air. He didn’t know why he was bothering, maybe it was just to stall having to inevitably return to his dorm and deal with the awkward air between him and Tavros, or maybe he genuinely wanted it to feel like a date with Dirk. He couldn’t be sure if it was either or both, but he raced into the nearby forest at random, hoping he could find the runaway man. Holding his hat on his head with one hand, he stumbled and almost fell when he started back up at a sprint. His suit wasn’t exactly made for such strenuous activity, but he didn’t care anymore. He didn’t want to be abandoned.

Finally, gravity won, and Jake toppled to the ground. It might’ve been panicked thinking, but he swore he heard a ripping sound and was scared to see the damage done to his outfit that wasn’t as expensive as he pretended it was but was still somewhat expensive nonetheless. He stayed on the ground for a few minutes, his chest heaving. He didn’t even know how far he’d gone. Then, he pulled out his phone, planning on going about it more reasonably. He unblocked Dirk’s number and began to type a message before stopping. What could he possibly say without sounding like a complete loser? With a sigh, he hauled himself to his feet and brushed off as much dirt as he could from his outfit. He picked up his fallen hat and put it back on his wild hair. Karkat had been right about the hat hiding his bedhead. That’s when he realized it was growing dark and he had no idea where he was.

Having once been a boy scout, Jake used navigation skills to take himself out of the forest. He wasn’t about to make himself look like someone who needed help to any of his friends or Dirk. After finding his way for several minutes, he was out of the trees and back onto campus. Frustration boiled in his gut when he saw Dirk sitting in one of the benches beside a pond. He’d run into the woods and tripped for nothing. For once, Dirk didn’t seem to notice that someone was watching him. His shoulders were hunched with a rare display of emotion and weakness. Jake almost found that more attractive, because it felt more human to see him in that state. He didn’t want Dirk to know he was there, because he knew he’d put up a wall as soon as he saw him. Hesitating, Jake just watched him like he might a wild animal.

Taking a cautious step forward, Jake rustled some leaves by accident, and Dirk turned his head ever so slightly. In his peripheral vision, he noticed Jake’s suit and hat. As expected, his posture righted itself, looking more relaxed and indifferent than it had before, and his face looked blank.

“Do you take trips into the forest in suits often?” Dirk asked. He wasn’t looking at Jake but at the water in front of him.

“No, this was my first time. I would recommend it to anyone feeling down, though,” Jake said. He took another step forward.

Dirk grunted.

Jake was close enough to touch Dirk by then, but he didn’t. Instead, he leaned on the bench from behind, on Dirk’s side. He could see his profile from there. “You know…you don’t have to hide all the time,” he said carefully.

Dirk’s facial features tightened. “I’m not hiding anything.”

“Sure you are. Gosh, I don’t think I’ve even seen your eyes, and I’ve known you since we were small. Just now, too, you looked really down in the dumps until you knew I was here.”

“Why do you want to get to know me suddenly?” Dirk asked.

“Because,” Jake paused, “I’ve been unfair to you for a while.”

“Oh, so this is some pity party to you?”

“No, I…darn it Dirk. I like you, okay? Is that what you want me to say? I didn’t want to admit it before, because you’re so frustrating all the time,” Jake said, shutting his eyes when he did so. “Among other things.”

Dirk made a humming noise to acknowledge what he’d just said. He turned to look at him. “What other things?”

“I always thought liking you was like falling back to something familiar, so I didn’t pay attention to it, which was hard as toffee when you kept upping the ante. Plus, I thought Jane wouldn’t want to be our dear friend anymore if we were to date.”

“Why not?”

“She’s, frankly, being driven up the wall by the relationships everyone’s having, and I started to put it together that she wishes more of us were batting for her team. I’m sure she’s said similar things to you, what with being your best friend and all.”

“Don’t worry about her, Jake,” Dirk said. His heart was racing, but he refused to let that ripple his calm.

“Thanks for coming to the play with me,” Jake changed the subject.

“Yeah, no problem. It was decent anyway. I don’t think it was worth the waterworks Dave was showing, but it was better than Shakespeare.”

“I’m glad it was up your alley somewhat.”

Dirk was quiet. His brain was screaming at him to do something, but he didn’t. He just watched Jake struggle to say something but not the right thing. He had to admit that Jake was terrible at this, but he wasn’t about to pull all the stops again and risk breaking what was happening between them.

“Can we make a trade?” Jake finally said.

Raising his eyebrows, Dirk looked like he was ready to see where this was going. “Depends on what it is, I guess.”

“If I get to see your eyes, you’ll get one thing from me.”

“That’s too vague. Pick something that you want me to want from you,” Dirk said.

“Uh.” Jake felt a blush rising to his cheeks. “I’ll kiss you?” He offered.

That wasn’t what he had been expecting, but Dirk decided to take it. “That works for me.”

Jake just released a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his head, but he was wearing a hat, so it looked ridiculous. Dirk rolled his eyes before slipping his shades off and giving Jake a look that seemed to ask if that was satisfactory. Jake tilted his head to the side curiously, looking at the eyes he’d left to his imagination for so long. It felt strangely intimate since Dirk never took his sunglasses off, and that wasn’t lost on either of them.

“So, for this kiss. Are you going to take your glasses off?” Dirk asked.

“I suppose that’s only fair, huh?” Jake pulled his glasses off of his face and instantly couldn’t see as well. He was glad he could at least make out Dirk’s face still.

All of the times Dirk had pictured their first kiss, he hadn’t imagined it would be while both of them could hardly see. He raised a hand to Jake’s cheek and pulled him closer until their lips connected. He wasn’t about to let Jake know how eager he was for this, so he was planning on cutting it short. Then, however, Jake met his kiss with so much passion that Dirk was sucked into the feeling, and soon he hauled him over the edge of the bench and on top of him to deepen the kiss. Jake, although bewildered by basically falling, stabilized himself and kissed Dirk for as long as he wished.

Once the kiss ended, they both pulled their respective eyewear back on.

“Do you want to do the good old pully hawly?” Jake asked, his voice breathy.

“What the hell are you even asking? I’m sorry, but I don’t speak in outdated lingo. Are you asking to fuck?” Dirk asked, sitting up.

Jake looked at him and nodded.

“Christ, yeah I want to,” Dirk muttered. “But there’s no way I’m doing this while you’re still in that suit. Do you want to come to my dorm to get ready and then go to this place I know?”

“Righto, sounds good.”

Rose stared at her phone, trying to formulate what she was going to say to Jade about potentially hating her new girlfriend. Kanaya was sitting with her for emotional support, and Nepeta was playing some lighthearted music and leaving them alone. Rose finally figured out what to start with.

**Hey, Jade, we haven’t talked in a while! I hope all is well, because things don’t seem to be completely well and I wanted to ask about that. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but Kanaya and I are dating now. She’s a sweet, intelligent, and thoughtful girl if you get to know her, but she said that for some reason, you still don’t like her. Is there anything she can do to make it up to you? I’d hate to see two of the girls I’m closest to in my life fighting, especially when they’re supposed to live together**

**Hi Rose. The thing is, I cannot stand the way she lives. Our room always has to be dark for her hobby, and you know how much I adore my plants. Plus, she’s not exactly the best person to talk to. But, I’m happy for you**

**What do you want her to change? She can’t really give up photography at this point, as it’s her minor**

**I just wish I could move. I can’t afford housing elsewhere, but living here is driving me insane**

**Well, maybe I can convince Nepeta to let her move in with us. Would that make you feel better? Would you treat her civilly after that?**

**Probably. As long as I don’t have to live in the dark anymore, I should be in a much improved emotional state**

**I’ll try to work something out over here. Thank you for giving us some kind of solution, Jade**

Rose looked up from her phone to find Kanaya’s expectant look. “For fear of sounding forward, I was wondering if you’d want to move in with me and Nepeta,” she said. “And Nepeta, would you be okay with that?”

Nepeta squealed with excitement, but there was a more subdued look of sadness in her eyes. “Of course she can move in with us.”

“Would you really be fine with my dark room moving into here?” Kanaya asked nervously.

“Sure, I do have a closet, if perhaps that would work,” Rose offered.

“Oh that might actually work,” Kanaya said, inspecting the mentioned closet. “Where will I sleep?”

“With me, unless you’re opposed to that,” Rose said, raising an eyebrow.

Kanaya flushed slightly. “That’d be lovely.”

“Then, I’ll tell Jade it’s all set and we can help you move when you’re ready.” Rose started typing with a smile on her face.

“Thank you for helping me solve this issue,” Kanaya said softly, resting her head on Rose’s shoulder with a relieved sigh.

Vriska checked her phone and noticed that Terezi was ranting about her boyfriend again. She couldn’t believe how ridiculously worked up the girl got any time she dated someone. It had been the same way when she dated Karkat, and it drove Vriska absolutely nuts to hear it, or read it in this case.

**Omg Vr1sk4!!! H3’s soooooo dorky but l1k3 1 k1nd4 d1g 1t??? 1n 4 w31rd w4y. 1dk. M4yb3 h3’s just grow1ng on m3. Som3t1m3s 1 just f33l l1k3 s4y1ing ‘look, John, 1 g3t th4t you’r3 pr3t3nd1ng to b3 myst3r1ous 4nd 4ll but l3t’s b3 r34l, you just r3f3r3nc3d such 4 ch33sy mov13’**

**The f8ct that you got the ref8rence in the f8rst pl8ce just sh8ws how d8rky you are too. W8, did you say J8hn?**

**Y34h, John’s h1s n4m3, why?**

**My 8f is named John too wtf**

**1t 1s 4 common n4m3**

**Hmm, you’re r8ght. It still makes me feel weird when you rant about him since he’s got the same n8me as mine………**

**F1ne, 1’ll f1nd 4noth3r cool bff to ch4t to about 1t. Oh, w41t, 1 don’t h4ve 4noth3r on3. G3t ov3r yours3lf 4nd l1st3n up**

**Ugggggggghhhhhhhh. I have a better idea. What if we plan dates at the s8me time to see if our 8fs are secretly the same guy?**

**1 gu3ss th3r3’s no h4rm 1n th4t. Wh4t’ll w3 do 1f h3 1s th3 s4m3 p3rson?**

**Idk, we’ll get there when we do**

Vriska hoped that this stunt would keep Terezi from talking so much about her amazing yet terribly lame boyfriend. She was ready to prove that her John was better, and if he was the same person, maybe that’d be even better. If they were dating the same person, it didn’t even make her jealous. All she could think about was how Terezi couldn’t exactly rant to her about how great their combined boyfriend was, because that would be ridiculous. She shook her head. There was no way her John would cheat, anyway.

Dave listened to his mix again. He smiled at how epic it was becoming and couldn’t believe it had come from his own ingenuity. It was complete. While he sat there listening to it, the words struck him like lightning, so he began to record his voice over it. After mixing that in and making sure it sounded good, he felt like he was finished. One more thing to do: he had to send it to Dirk for a second opinion. Letting him hear it kind of felt strange, since it was such a personal song, but Dirk had always been his critic. He thought once again about how Dirk had given Karkat some sort of life advice. It struck him as really strange.

After sending the song to his brother, Dave waited expectantly, practically hopping out of his chair with anticipation and excitement for completing it. Eridan watched him like he was on something before going back to studying and being generally gloomy. Dirk of course didn’t answer, leaving Dave to stare at his phone wanting feedback. He grumbled, wondering where he could be that he couldn’t listen to the song just once for an initial feeling. A text came through, and he checked it hurriedly, only to find that it was even better as it was from Karkat.

**HEY THANKS FOR HELPING ME TRY TO TRUST MYSELF <3**

**Of course, anything for the hottest man alive <3**

**Speaking of trust, I think you should have another sleepover with me soon**

**Because I assume you’re too scared to for the same reasons you were panicking at the play, and I want to show you that you won’t do anything. We’ve slept in the same bed before and we were fine**

**I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S A GOOD IDEA**

**YOU LIVE WITH AN ASSHOLE, REMEMBER?**

**We could stay at your place, if you’re okay with that. Unless Kankman has a strict policy on that**

**I COULD *PROBABLY* CONVINCE HIM, ESPECIALLY SINCE HE’S PRACTICALLY LICKING MY FUCKING BOOTS RN**

**Awesome. I have something for you, so hopefully it’ll be ready before that happens**

Dave almost giggled with excitement. He felt really giddy by then, so he decided to text Rose.

**Yo, I wrote a song for Karkat, and I think I want to perform it for him. Do you think I should do that at the beginning or end of a hypothetical sleepover?**

Unlike Dirk, she responded almost immediately.

**That depends on if it’s a sexual song or not. Your stuff tends to be…rather suggestive. What mood do you think it’ll put him in?**

**It’ll be fine. I put a lot of effort into not sounding like a horny teenage boy who fantasizes about cock this time. It’s all straight up gay romance feels, like sentimental and everything instead of my usual. I guess it’s meant to make him feel liked and wanted in an emotional, supportive way first and foremost and a ‘hey, you’re sexy’ way secondly**

**Hm, in that case, I’d say that’d be a good start to a potentially wholesome sleepover with your new boyfriend. I’m assuming you aren’t going too fast in your relationship, so something like that will probably help build your emotional tie before you get more serious physically. Are you planning on dressing up and making a full performance out of this? Perhaps I can help if so**

**I hadn’t thought about it, but do you think it’d leave a good impression if I did? I was hoping to go for an unironic gesture since he’d appreciate that more**

**Oh, we could make it amazing. You could wear a cool outfit and eyeliner and everything. Kanaya could definitely help with that. I’ll be in charge of fashion, and she’ll do your makeup**

**Hold up, what? You and your girlfriend are going to dress and give me a makeover?**

**Why not? It’ll show that you put a lot of effort and thought into it**

**Won’t I look like silly? Or feminine?**

**Dude, plenty of really masculine rockstars and goth men wear eyeliner. It’s called ‘guyliner’ I believe, and people find it really hot. Not me personally, obviously, but I’ve heard that it’s a thing. I could ask Kanaya to see if she knows if Karkat is into that**

**No, don’t ask her that! I don’t even know her that well**

**Too late, she says he’d definitely swoon over you if you wore guyliner. It’s happening. Skin-tight clothing and guyliner is in your near future**

**But my song is like a rap song? Isn’t that the wrong genre and everything?**

**It won’t matter. He’ll be so focused on you that he won’t care if you’re mixing styles and everything. It’ll be fantastic and will definitely help you convey the whole ‘I love you and I want to have sex with you eventually but not tonight’ vibe you’re going for**

**Wtf. When did I say that was my ‘vibe’?**

**I picked up on it based on how you described your song and what you were planning. I mean, I’m assuming you aren’t going to try and have sex with him at this sleepover, right?**

**Well no. His dad will be there, and maybe his uncle too. That’d be weird as hell. Plus, we haven’t even kissed yet**

**Oh my. This would be the perfect opportunity to dazzle him and then get a first kiss! I’m going to get to planning with Kanaya right away. Let me know when this sleepover is happening so we’ll be ready. And are you going to sing in person or lipsync to your own soundtrack?**

**I hadn’t thought of it. I’m not sure**

**I’d suggest lipsyncing since you have a tendency to go off the deep end when you improv. You don’t want to lose track of what you’re saying when delivering such an important and meaningful message to your dear Karkat. We might even be able to borrow the theater stage! That’d be perfect. They even have a soundsystem we could use**

And suddenly Dave was going to do an entire performance for Karkat. He really hoped he wouldn’t overdo it or make him laugh. Although, he guessed that laughter was better than anger. He just knew that deep down, Karkat seemed like the type who would appreciate grand gestures of fondness like he might find in a movie. Now, he just had to wait for Dirk’s response and hope that everything would work out alright.


	25. Frustration and Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave gets increasingly frustrated at how one-sided the advice trade between him and Dirk has become. Then, he ends up getting unexpectedly angry at a friend and is consoled by an even more unexpected person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter is so late! I was waiting to add the second half of it. I've been working on so many vastly different things, so my posting schedule is going to be all over the place. I promise I haven't abandoned this fic, though.

“Wait a minute, you didn’t clarify if you were dating and then you just fucked out of the blue? What the actual hell is wrong with you?” Dave asked, looking up at his brother. “You wanted to date him for years and instead you basically hooked up with him after he said he liked you instead of, I don’t know, asking him out? I thought I had problems.”

“I don’t have problems. I just do things differently than you because I’m not a virgin scared of being deflowered,” Dirk replied, taking a sip of his drink.

“And yet you’re coming to me for answers when you’re still in a weird grey area with Jake. How would my advice benefit you at this point?” Dave asked. “I think you just need to talk to him. I know you have some kind of religion against opening up to people, but that’s literally what being in a relationship is about.”

Dirk gave him a look that wasn’t quite a frown but almost.

“If one of you doesn’t ask the other out like a normal person, and I don’t mean grand gestures like you used to do, you’re basically just going to be like friends with benefits or something.”

“But he acted like he didn’t want me to ask him out, so I’ve been trying to make him do it.”

“Do you think he’d want to play with your feelings? I don’t see the guy doing that, but you know him better than me.”

“I think he actually cares, but maybe he is just using me. It’s hard to trust people.”

“Again, you need to fucking talk to him, preferably when you aren’t planning on having sex afterwards. You could be a rebound for all you know.”

Dirk’s features tensed at that idea. Jake had mentioned something about falling back on familiarity. “I’ll talk to him later today.” He stood up and left.

Sighing, Dave stared off into space, not that anyone could notice due to his sunglasses. Dirk always expected him to be there when he needed to discuss his relationship problems, but he hardly ever seemed to reciprocate that for him. Dave had called to have lunch with him because he never answered about the song, and it was getting close to the performance. His feedback had been vague and not too helpful, because he basically didn’t like the lack of irony and that was it.

“Earth to Dave,” a voice called him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see John with a tray full of food.

“Oh, hey man. Long time no see,” Dave said. He glanced at his nearly empty plates and watched John sit across from him. It looked like he wouldn’t get out of there for a while.

“How have you been?” John asked, digging in.

“It’s all been pretty chill. What can I say, Karkat is the best,” Dave said with a hint of a smile and a blush.

“I still can’t believe you’re dating that guy now. I guess I’m in shock, but I just don’t understand. Every time he enters a room that I’m in, it feels like someone dragging nails across a chalkboard in my mind. He’s the worst.”

“Don’t talk about him that way. He’s one of the only other people I’m close to. You just don’t know him well enough, and you haven’t given him a chance.” Dave felt annoyed that John insisted on trashing on Karkat. “He’s a really caring person.”

“Damn, you don’t have to get so cold! I’m sorry I struck a nerve there, I was just speaking my mind. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Dave said. “Hey, I have a class coming up, so I have to go.”

“Oh, okay. Well, it was great talking to you!” John said with a smile. “No homo.”

Dave shut his eyes for a moment before getting out of his seat. He didn’t know why it happened so quickly, but he didn’t want to be around John for a bit. Something about the way he talked about Karkat and the customary addition of ‘no homo’ was threatening to push him over the edge. He didn’t want there to be a wedge between him and his best friend, but he didn’t enjoy interactions like that at all. He walked out of the food court with negative emotions pumping in his veins and had his fist half-clenched. He wasn’t even going to class yet, so he had no idea where he was headed.

After walking for a few minutes with his headphones on, he settled on a bench far from where people would run into him. He wanted to text someone to come talk to him, but he also didn’t want anyone to think he was a damsel in distress. He’d already been called that too many times for one lifetime. Instead, he curled up, listened to music, and tried to calm down. He didn’t want to be mad at John.

“By golly, this looks familiar,” Jake announced, jogging up out of the woods in his shorts like it was perfectly normal to just chill in the forest.

Dave didn’t really hear him that well over the music. He basically just heard the tone of his voice before taking the headphones off and looking at him. “Where did you come from?” He asked.

“I was just galivanting in the woods,” he said.

“Interesting. What did you say before I took my headphones off?”

“Oh, nothing really. I just got a sense of déjà vu. You looked an awful lot like your brother with how upset you were just now,” he said.

Dave scowled, remembering that Dirk had just told him about having sex with this guy. It wasn’t the best thing to think about while talking to Jake. “I’m not that much like him,” he said instead of just blurting that he knew, and it was super awkward for him.

“Do you mean to say that you’d actually tell me why you’re upset?” Jake asked curiously.

“I mean, I could, if you want me to. It’s not really your business, but since you’re the only person here, I guess I could. John pissed me off, and I don’t want to be mad at him because he’s my best friend, but he didn’t even know how much he got to me.”

“Oh, darn. What did he say to get you into such a state?”

“He was trashing on Karkat, and I didn’t like to hear him talk about him like that. Then, he ended a sentence with ‘no homo’, reminding me of how insecure he is about the fact that I’m gay and he’s worried I’ll like him or something. Did Dirk refuse to talk to you about his feelings the other day?” He asked.

Jake sighed. “That sounds like a reasonable thing to be angry about to me. Dirk might not be the best, but I know that if someone just flat out started ranting about him to me, I’d be ready to throw punches. And yes, he did avoid talking to me about what was wrong after the play.”

“I think I might have an idea what it was,” Dave muttered. “Something you said really got to him, and now he thinks that if he asks you out, you’ll lose interest in him. He keeps talking to me about it. You should make that move, if that’s your goal. I mean, unless you just-” he cut himself off when he was about to say ‘unless you just want to have sex with him without any substantial relationship’.

“You think so? Does he really feel that way about me? I keep wondering if it’s all been designed to hurt me in the end.”

“Trust me, he’s in so much turmoil over the whole thing that I think it’s the only time he’s ever actually liked someone.”

“I still don’t know why it’s me. It’s been a whole ordeal for years, but I just ignored it.”

“You can’t tell him I told you any of this, but he’s going to try to talk to you about it later today. If he tries to deflect or divert the conversation, you’re going to have to jump in there and ask. Please, for my sanity’s sake.”

“That’s a worthy enough cause to motivate myself,” Jake said with a goofy chuckle. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, no prob. And…thanks for not calling me weak or making fun of me for getting so emotional about something so small,” Dave said, faltering.

“Are you used to people doing that to you? I think I’ve cried more times than anyone I know at the silliest things. It’s not something to be proud of, exactly, but it’s just a part of who I am.”

“I grew up with a lot of that mentality, probably toxic masculinity training or some shit. It might be why Dirk’s the way he is, too, but at least I don’t let it control me like he does.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I try to get him to chat about feelings.”

That evening, as promised, Dirk asked to meet up with Jake in the basement of the library of all places. He supposed that would assure it didn’t come across as a hookup request and applauded him for the foresight. Waiting in the uncomfortable wooden chairs that populated the space, Jake wondered how Dirk even knew the place existed. It definitely didn’t seem like an atmosphere he’d feel at home in, but Jake on the other hand was appreciating the décor nicely. Except for the blasted chairs, of course. They could’ve _at least_ added some kind of padding, maybe with a little velvet for looks.

Jake didn’t even hear Dirk enter the room until he was sitting across from him. He could tell he was nervous and trying desperately to hide it with a stoic expression that made him want to laugh. It was adorable, if he really thought about it.

“So,” Dirk said.

“Precisely the way to start. Up and at ‘em.”

“Can we date?” Dirk managed to get out.

It was such a far cry from the usual gestures Jake had braced himself for that he almost didn’t even register that Dirk had asked him a question, much less the gravity of what he’d asked.

“Aren’t you concerned you might be a rebound?” Jake asked curiously.

“I don’t give a shit. If I have a chance, I’m taking it, whatever had to happen to make it possible,” Dirk stated.

“Then, by jove yes we can date.”

Despite the weight lifted from both of their shoulders by that declaration, an awkward silence settled over them as if they weren’t sure what to do next.

“Should we plan an actual date or something?” Dirk finally suggested.

“I suppose that is the next reasonable line of action,” Jake agreed.

They fleshed out the details of what their first date would be like, and Jake allowed Dirk to interject some irony into the agenda, because he wasn’t completely positive the man wouldn’t explode without his dose of irony. Afterwards, Dirk felt so good that he could finally appreciate Dave’s song for what it was. He gave the criticism he felt was necessary:

**I think it needs to mention the time you first saw him. You know, the time you were mentally stripping off his pants while sitting across from me**

**Yeah, not going to put it like that, but that is a helpful critique, thanks bro. I’m assuming things went well with Jake if you had the energy to listen to the song without cringing or combusting**

Dave sighed in relief. It was getting really close to his set date for the performance, and he’d even gotten the theater program in on it so he could borrow the stage and sound system. Kanaya and Rose had come up with an outfit and makeup combination that he hoped wouldn’t embarrass the hell out of him, and now with the song nearly complete, everything was falling into place. Now, he just needed to convince Karkat to go to the theater at the right time on the right day without him being suspicious. He decided his best bet was to pretend he was helping with some production’s sound issues. Then, he could just tell Karkat to come meet him when he was done helping them and completely surprise him. He hoped everything would go smoothly and he wouldn’t make a complete fool of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: the performance!


	26. The Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of a few well-meaning friends, Dave is all ready for the special moment where he delivers his rap song to Karkat. However, there are a few things that no one plans on happening.

Dave stared at himself in the mirror. He felt like a damn superhero, and not in the cool sense. He looked like he had raided someone’s closet and stolen only their tightest clothing. His black skinny jeans were so tight the pockets weren’t even real, and he was sure it had to be designed for a woman or something. His shirt was a red muscle shirt. Kanaya had insisted that he made his hair more tousled than usual, using way too much product to go for the messy look than he thought necessary. Finally, his sunglasses had to come off. If he thought he couldn’t feel more uncomfortable, the thought of performing on a literal stage made him want to puke.

Kanaya worked carefully to apply just the right amount of eyeliner to make his eyes really stand out, which was quite a feat because he kept flinching and moving all over the place. She even accidentally poked his eyeball once. He hissed as it started to water.

“Are you sure you’re doing this right?” He muttered.

“Yes if you would just stop moving so much,” she responded.

Dave tried to hold still after that, but sitting was downright painful in those pants, and his shirt made it hard to breathe. He felt like one of those old-fashioned portraits of women in really tight corsets. Finally, the makeup was complete, his outfit was on, and the sound system had been checked. All he had to do was wait backstage until Nepeta gave him the signal that meant Karkat was about to enter. Sollux had even helped out and was running the sound and lightboard. Despite how pained he felt, Dave felt good that he had so many friends who were willing to help just to see him and Karkat happy.

The time was approaching, and Dave tried to slow his breath. He couldn’t be a nervous wreck if he wanted to get his message across. For Karkat, he had to be confident and hot. He had to be funny and sentimental. Or at least, he wanted to be. He was sure Karkat would like him either way, but he was determined to make an effort for him.

The set time passed, and Dave was pacing backstage, trying to run through his head and make sure he’d told Karkat the right time. He hadn’t made a huge deal out of it, so maybe Karkat had just decided not to come. Dave didn’t even have his phone on him because of his stupid pocketless pants, so if Karkat had texted to say he wasn’t coming, he wouldn’t even know and would just be standing there like a fool.

“Dave?” A familiar voice called.

Dave froze to the spot. Karkat had come in through the back door. He was backstage with him. _Shit._ He hadn’t planned on what to do if he ended up on the stage with him. At least if he was in the audience, Dave would’ve been too blinded to actually see his expression. He held his breath, hoping Karkat wouldn’t see him in the dark. Dave was sure everyone else was frozen in panic just like him. No one had considered the fact that Karkat just barged in whatever door he wanted.

A light flicked on. Sollux was going ahead with his queues, which meant it was going to be showtime whether Dave wanted it to be or not. If Karkat hated it, he could just complain during their sleepover while Dave shamefully removed eyeliner. Dave sighed, grabbed Karkat’s hand, and pulled him to the front of the stage. They were both in the spotlight, Karkat looking bewildered and entranced all at once, and Dave looking like he might faint. It was a whole new level of performance than Dave knew how to deal with, but he definitely wasn’t going to bail at this point.

The first beat dropped, and he knew the recorded track of his voice was coming soon. He was going to rap along instead of lip-syncing obviously, especially because Karkat was only a few feet away. Karkat watched him in awe, unsure where it was going but enjoying what was going on so far. The soundtrack was recognizably All Star with some chords he found familiar but couldn’t quite place. Nonetheless, it was so completely something Dave would make that he loved it instantly. He waited with much anticipation, assuming Dave was about to start rapping.

Simultaneously, the track and Dave began:

**Who gave you permission to be so perfect?**

**It must be a universal defect.**

**You slipped through the cracks when they were handing out flaws.**

**While everyone fell into sinful maws.**

**When I first saw you the world changed,**

**My insides rearranged,**

**My determination put to the test,**

**Because you only deserve the best.**

**The world could collapse,**

**Calamity fall directly into our laps,**

**And I would only be looking into your eyes.**

**I’d destroy everything you despise,**

**And give you anything you desire.**

**Hell, I’d be a real simp for hire,**

**If you asked me to.**

**Every moment I spend with you,**

**You spend with me, too.**

**Like, I know you’re there for me,**

**With no place you’d rather be.**

**You make life worthwhile.**

After a short instrumental where the beats wound down, Dave caught his breath and searched Karkat’s face. Karkat was just waiting to see if there was anything more. He felt like crying. Dave was such a dork, such an amazing, sentimental, ridiculous dork that Karkat couldn’t get enough of. Once the song was done and Sollux switched the house lights on, Karkat rushed forward until his arms were around Dave. He nuzzled into him with a smile.

“That was amazing,” he said.

“I’m glad you liked it,” Dave responded tiredly.

“Can I kiss you?” Karkat asked quieter.

“On the lips?” Dave asked.

Karkat nodded, moving to look down at him. He was waiting for affirmation, if it was going to come.

“Yes,” Dave said with a grin.

Taking it slow despite his heart running a marathon, Karkat gently glided his hand along Dave’s face and tilted it at a good angle that he hoped wouldn’t be uncomfortable. He met his eyes that were accentuated by the makeup perfectly and smiled. Then, he leaned in further, feeling Dave slide his hands up to the back of his neck. He could tell Dave was holding his breath, so he didn’t make him wait any longer. Their lips connected meaningfully and gentle despite the underlying desires both harbored but chose to hide. The kiss ended quickly, because Karkat didn’t know what Dave’s boundary was, and left both of them wanting more. They just stood there for a few moments staring at each other like people enraptured by someone they’re fond of tend to do, especially after such an important moment and milestone.

“Hey, not two iinterrupt, but I-I have a miidterm two work on and you’re my riide,” Sollux interrupted loudly, peeking out from behind the soundboard.

“That was mrawrvellous!” Nepeta said with a giggle, clapping.

Rose just gave Dave a thumbs up from backstage before taking her leave with Kanaya. She didn’t want to embarrass him like everyone else seemed to be doing. Karkat also seemed embarrassed, if not mortified on the spot. It occurred to him that there was no way Dave could’ve done all of that by himself, including the makeup and outfit. He must’ve been planning it for a while. That made Karkat feel even warmer.

“Ready for our sleepover?” Karkat asked as quietly as he could manage.

Dave nodded, blushing. He went backstage to grab his stuff from one of the lockers in the changing room. He’d had the foresight to pack a backpack instead of just carrying around his clothes, so he slung it over his shoulder and put his sunglasses on the top of his head. It was already getting dark outside, so he figured it would be alright not to wear them for now. Sollux shut down the lights and turned off the sound system, and the three of them left the theater together.

Despite being the third wheel, Sollux didn’t seem that uncomfortable or awkward hanging out with them. He was both of their friend by then, so it didn’t even occur to him to be overly jealous. He was just happy for them mostly with something resembling wistfulness. He had to remind himself not to want the old days to come back, because they were the absolute worst. He didn’t need Eridan, he didn’t need anyone. Having friends was nice. Having friends who were in love was also nice. Good for them. He sat in the back seat to let them sit close enough to hold hands. It was really quite heartwarming and hope-inducing.

Meanwhile, a recording of the performance was making its rounds to all of their friends and acquaintances, because even with such a small group of enthusiastic friends helping out, someone had found it necessary to take a video and post it.


	27. The Sleepover Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anticipation and excitement build as they drive towards their destination, but then they find that it's more difficult to find things to pass the time than expected.

When Karkat dropped him off, Sollux was tempted to tease him for how happy he looked, but he decided to just let his best friend have this. He left the car and silently walked in through his front door, making a direct line for his room and avoiding his moms and brother who were all busy on their devices anyway. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone and was glad his home was a dead zone so he could avoid whatever his friends had to say over their social media accounts. Sollux had some thinking and self-convincing to do.

Meanwhile, Karkat pulled up at his house and hopped out to open the door for Dave. Dave smirked at him, but he couldn’t hide how much his eyes were sparkling with lingering affection and adrenaline from the performance.

“Such a gentleman,” he commented.

“Just get out of the damn car already,” Karkat grumbled without any negative emotion behind it.

Dave hesitated just one more moment as if to test Karkat. He wasn’t having it, though, and scooped him up in his arms and dumped him unceremoniously onto his feet as a blushing mess. Dave’s shocked eyes looked impossibly huge, almost anime sized, with the makeup still accenting them. He glanced up at Karkat and shut the car door. “You must be really eager for me to be alone with you,” he muttered.

“Shut up, Dave. You know I have no intentions of doing what you’re implying yet and neither do you,” Karkat pointed out during their walk towards the front door. “Plus, I refuse to do _that_ while my dad is under the same roof.”

Dave chuckled quietly and followed him through the door. Kankri was seemingly waiting for them at the dinner table, typing away at this computer. He looked up as soon as they walked in through the door with an unreadable expression.

“I saw your performance,” he started, “and I would like to have a word with Dave in private, if that’s alright with him?” He paused for only a moment to wait for objections. “Good, Karkat go get the second bed ready for his stay while I have this discussion with him.”

“Fine,” Karkat growled, storming out of the room. Despite his supposed anger, however, he glanced over his shoulder to give Dave a reassuring smile on his way out.

Kankri shut his laptop and folded his hands under his chin with his elbows resting on the table. “Now, Dave, I just wanted to congratulate you, first and foremost, for your position as my son’s boyfriend. But also, I would like to remind you that extravagant public acts that express how you feel aren’t always the best way to go about it. You could’ve hurt people’s feelings who are less fortunate and don’t have a significant other. Also, you said some fairly profound things to Karkat that I’m not sure you can rightly mean this early in your relationship. I want you to be honest with him. Communication is very important. And, while you are in my house sleeping in the same room as him, I hope you will be respectful of my residence here and not disturb me. If you decide to participate in certain acts, I implore you to please always make sure both parties are mutually consenting before doing anything. Any questions? Good.” He opened his laptop back up and kept typing with a hint of a frown tugging at his lips.

“Right, nice talk,” Dave mumbled, leaving to go help Karkat get his bed ready despite planning on sharing a bed with him anyway.

“What did he have to say this time?” Karkat asked when Dave entered the room.

“He basically just told me the ethical basics of dating, I guess,” Dave said, shutting the door behind him.

“Of course he did.” Karkat was putting sheets on a mattress on the floor. “Hey, are you even planning on sleeping on this?” He asked, looking up at Dave from where he was seated on the floor.

“Do I have your permission to share your bed with you?” Dave asked with a mocking amount of politeness.

“Yes.” Karkat stood and stretched. “What should we do?” For all his excitement, he hadn’t really made any plans for how to spend their hours together.

“Hmm,” Dave looked up at him, pretending to think about it when really all he wanted to do was kiss him again. “What do you feel comfortable with?” He asked instead.

Karkat’s brain instantly went to the worst scenario and he flushed. “Uh, at this point I’d say probably hugging, cuddling, holding hands, and now kissing. You?”

Dave nodded. “Same. Could we kiss again?” He asked with a note of shyness in his posture and tone.

“Sure.”

This time, Dave just went for it. He pulled Karkat down to his level and pressed his lips into the other’s. Karkat had to regain his footing and correct the kiss before it got awkward and sloppy from Dave’s inexperience. The kiss was salvaged, and they were soon slowly moving their mouths against each other in some predetermined natural rhythm that was amazing. Dave relaxed his grip on Karkat’s shoulder and wrapped his other arm around his other shoulder, allowing Karkat to embrace Dave around the waist and pull their bodies flush together. After that, Dave pulled away enough to breathe, leaving both of them panting slightly.

“Was that too much?” Karkat asked worriedly, loosening his grip on Dave.

“No, it was fine. I’m here to help you feel more confident in yourself, remember? That was within the boundaries we set, so it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, uncertainty evident in his voice.

“I promise. I actually preferred that to the kiss you gave me before. Hopefully that doesn’t make me needy. Both kisses were great, I just wanted the first one to last longer. It’s like when you go on a rollercoaster and you feel nervous about boarding the first time, but then the ride is so short that you want to ride over and over again to pretend that the ride was longer to begin with,” Dave started to ramble.

“Dave,” Karkat said softly. “If you ramble one more fucking time, I’m going to kiss you breathless,” he threatened.

“In that case, I don’t know whether I should stop rambling or keep going. That sounds like a positive outcome to me. Like what are you going to do if I _don’t_ ramble? Maybe then I can weigh my options here. Do you think-” Dave was cut off when Karkat firmly pressed their lips back together.

Karkat felt Dave smirking into their kiss and knew he’d been rambling on purpose to make him follow through with his threat. It was going to be a fun night. He just had to remind himself not to get too heated with his kissing otherwise things could get really uncomfortable for both of them. He kept kissing Dave for a longer period of time, making a point to kiss deeper than before but not enough to ignite their lust, hopefully. Then, his tongue seemed to have a mind of its own and slid into Dave’s mouth. Dave made a small noise of surprise but adjusted to it and tried doing something with his own tongue. Then, Karkat realized his mistake and hastily separated himself from the other boy.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that!” Karkat frowned and sat down on the edge of his bed. “I was trying so hard to control myself and didn’t even notice it happening. I’ll be more careful next time.”

“Oh, I actually liked it. I never really thought about what French kissing felt like before, but that was really unexpected,” Dave said, adding quickly, “in a good way.”

Karkat relaxed some. “I don’t know how you can deal with me when I can’t even kiss you responsibly.”

“This is all new to me, so just remember that I might not know what I want until I experience it first,” Dave said calmly. “You were still only kissing me. It wasn’t like you touched me inappropriately or anything against my will, you just changed the type of kiss.”

“But I want to do things deliberately, not because my body acts without my fucking say so,” Karkat pouted.

“Then, I’ll let you know if you do anything unexpected in case you aren’t aware of it. I’ll help you keep track of your actions,” Dave offered.

“Thank you, that’d be really helpful.” Karkat sighed and collapsed onto his back on his bed. “Do you want to cuddle?”

“Uh, sure man,” Dave said. The intensity of his eyes was making Karkat feel warm, so he shuffled up beside Dave and slowly pulled him closer. Dave dramatically collapsed on the bed with him. They stayed like that for a moment before Karkat adjusted his pillows to sit up, leaning against them. He patted the spot next to him, and Dave soon joined him. Hesitating only a moment, Karkat slowly wrapped his arm around Dave’s shoulders and guided him to lean into his body.

Being so close that he could hear Karkat’s heartbeat against his ear, Dave found that cuddling was a completely different sensation from any other form of affection. He felt safe in Karkat’s arms. The calm moment was ruined when thoughts of the insults his dad had hammered into him surfaced. Doubts formed in his mind as to whether he really was just a damsel in need of a savior, of a taller, strong boyfriend to keep him safe and happy. He found himself frowning at the thought.

“Hey, Karkat?” Dave asked hesitantly. He lifted his head to look up at him.

“What is it?” Karkat looked so mellow that Dave felt bad bringing up his insecurities.

“Do you see me as someone weak who’ll always need saving?” Dave muttered.

Karkat’s eyes widened. “Not at all. What the fuck? Dave, I’m pretty sure you could kick anyone I know’s ass if you wanted to, including mine. Actually, maybe not your brother’s now that I think about it.”

“Yeah, Dirk’s ass is pretty impossible to land a kick on,” Dave agreed, feeling marginally better.

“You do know that showing your inner feelings isn’t weak, right? I’d prefer to know,” Karkat said more seriously.

Dave couldn’t respond, because he didn’t often have the luxury of thinking like that. While he was at home, it felt like anything he did could be used against him. He settled back against Karkat and tried to push the thoughts that remained unsettled away. Karkat’s heart was beating rhythmically in his chest, lulling Dave into feeling slightly calmer.

After an indeterminate amount of time passed, Dave could feel himself growing hungry enough that he couldn’t ignore it. Even Karkat could hear his stomach growling by then.

“I’m hungry,” Dave mumbled, deciding to get started telling Karkat how he was feeling no matter what.

“I guess we have no choice but to deal with lord douchebag out there,” Karkat whispered back. He softly pet Dave’s hair to procrastinate the inevitable by a minute.

“Yeah, should be interesting. I’m pretty sure he thinks we went right down to the dirty deed.”

“We’re going to get some really fucking weird looks from him.” Karkat gently slid away from Dave and hopped off the bed with a soft grunt.

Dave scooted off the bed and followed Karkat out of the room quietly. He didn’t know exactly what to expect from a Kankri who thought they had just been going at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late. I've been having trouble getting this written lately.


	28. The Sleepover Part 2 (Aka Disaster at the Dinner Table)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave decides to mess with Kankri with accidental extreme results. Then, they find some rather unsavory comments on the post of Dave's performance.

As soon as they entered the dining room, Kankri just stared at them. He had an expression on his face that Karkat had never seen before. It was somewhere between curiosity, awe, and disgust. If Kankri was bad when he was lecturing, he was worse when he was quiet. Somehow even his silence dominated the nonverbal conversation in the room. Karkat glanced at Dave to make sure he felt just as weird as he did. The expression on Dave’s face made his heart drop into a slight panic. Dave was going to mess with Kankri on purpose.

“Man, I’m already sore,” Dave muttered.

Kankri’s lips set into a very straight line. Then they vanished entirely, curled inwards. He gave Karkat a look as if he saw him in a different light. Karkat could practically feel how uncomfortable he was, if his silence wasn’t enough of a clue. He wasn’t sure he wanted to play along with this, because making his dad uncomfortable didn’t usually end well for him. Kankri then looked very specifically down at his food to avoid them.

“You wanna do that some more after dinner?” Dave asked Karkat. They both knew that he meant cuddling, but it still sounded bad, especially when he added, “Round two, you know.”

Kankri might’ve been shaking slightly, or maybe Karkat was having a stroke out of embarrassment over what Dave was implying. Karkat stayed silent, however, because he figured that making Dave happy was worth it. Plus, Dave was probably due a chance to screw with Kankri after everything he’d been through.

“We could try something new,” Dave kept going, to Kankri’s horror. “I was thinking laying down this time?”

Despite looking like his soul had left his body, Kankri turned to Karkat as if begging him to answer. He just wanted Dave to stop.

“Yeah, sure Dave. We can do whatever you want,” Karkat said, telling him with his eyes to reign it the fuck in before his father kicked him out or something.

“Great, cuz I was thinking-”

Kankri slammed the table so hard that some of the silverware made a small metallic ringing sound. “Enough already. Christ, I get it. You two are fucking in my house and you’re all smug about it because I can’t stop you since you're adults who both consented to it. Just be considerate. Sexual topics make me highly uncomfortable, and I don’t want to know what my son is doing. I hope you at least used protection,” Kankri said all in a rush. He was gasping slightly after his tirade but ate another bite of food.

“Protection? Why would we need protection?” Dave asked innocently.

Kankri looked like he was about to explode. His eyes were bulging like a fish out of water. “Do you want to risk getting a permanent STD? Come on, you boys should be smarter than this. I’m highly disappointed in both of you.”

“How do you get an STD from cuddling?” Dave asked, making Kankri nearly choke on his food.

He opened his mouth to respond but couldn’t find any words for a moment. “You were messing with me on purpose. How cruel. Karkat, I really don’t understand what you see in someone who uses the discomfort of others for a joke.”

“That’s what rappers usually do, sir,” Dave said casually.

“Well I’m finished with my food. Have fun cuddling,” he grumbled, but Karkat could tell that he seemed slightly relieved that they hadn’t actually been having sex without protection. He was glad Dave cleared it up before leaving Karkat to a lecture about being responsible. That would’ve been the worst.

Kankri left the room with his dishes.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Karkat asked. He had just been playing with his food the whole time and took his first bite.

“That it would be funny as hell.”

“I can’t believe you implied I was the top in that situation,” Karkat muttered, still being nearly as loud as a normal person’s inside voice. “I’m sure Kankri was composing a speech for me about some superhero sounding shit like ‘great power and responsibility’ or something.”

“Sorry,” Dave said honestly. He finished his food and waited for Karkat.

“Just be careful. I thought he was about to fucking send you away.”

“I wouldn’t have let the joke go that far. Think I should go apologize to him?” Dave really didn’t want Karkat to be upset.

“Yeah, I think that’d be good. He might be an asshole, but I think deep down he just misses my mom and seeing couples reminds him of that.”

Dave nodded and gave a thumbs up. “I got you. I’m actually really good with heartfelt apologies.”

Karkat didn’t want to doubt Dave, but he also couldn’t picture him giving a serious apology to Kankri of all people. Dave stood with his plate and placed a kiss on Karkat’s cheek. Then, he made his way to the kitchen. Kankri was leaning over the sink looking like he might cry or puke, or both. Setting his plate down on the counter, Dave approached him. He honestly didn’t know how to comfort the man, but he did know apologizing was probably the best course of action.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you. I took a bad situation and made it worse.”

“It’s not fair. I’m tired of all these young people taking relationships for granted and only caring about sex. Why do they get to hold onto that while I lost my wife? I should care for my son and be happy for him, but all I feel is jealousy.” Kankri had his eyes shut and his shoulders drooping in defeat. Dave hadn’t expected to be an impromptu therapist for his boyfriend’s dad.

Dave wasn’t sure how to respond to that. For once, he wished Kankri had kept talking. “Not all of us only care about sex,” he pointed out quietly. “Me and Karkat are actually scared to right now, for different reasons. I care about him, so even if you can’t all the time, he has me. I want to help him improve in any way he wants to. He wants the same for me, too. That’s pretty rare, so I think it’s okay to feel some jealousy and to miss what you lost.” He wasn’t sure if his words were comforting at all, and when he saw a tear fall down Kankri’s cheek he was worried he’d said the wrong thing.

“It was my fault she died,” he whispered. “What kind of person loves someone and has them risk their life like that? Maybe I’ve always been incapable of love.”

Obviously, Dave didn’t really know what Kankri was talking about because he didn’t know how she died, but he hesitantly rested a hand on his back. “I’m sure she probably wanted to do it. You shouldn’t beat yourself up so much. If the past is bothering you this much, have you thought about going to a therapist?”

“I should. Thank you, David. You’re a better person than I assumed.”

“It’s Dave. And nah, I’m still just a douche. I just know when I’ve gone too far. Take the evening to just do something you like.” Dave left slowly, feeling kind of weirded out by the encounter. He hadn’t meant to cause Kankri to have a full breakdown and felt pretty bad about it. He was in a daze when he made his way back to Karkat’s room. On the way, he noted that Karkat had left his plate on the table.

When Dave shut the bedroom door behind him and shuffled up to the bed, Karkat was busy on his phone with a concerned look on his face.

“You okay?” Dave mumbled. He rested his chin on Karkat’s shoulder.

“There are some fucking weird comments on the post of your performance,” he replied.

“Who posted it?”

“Feferi. I didn’t even think she was there,” Karkat stated.

Dave looked over Karkat’s shoulder to see the post. Feferi had tagged Sollux in it for some reason. Then, Karkat scrolled through the comments slowly. There were several thirsty people in there commenting on how hot Dave was and saying some pretty inappropriate things that made him feel uncomfortable. It was like they were objectifying him. The song hadn’t even been for them. Other people were mocking him for how much of a simp he was. He was frowning so much that his face hurt, and he was even used to frowning. Karkat glanced at him and also frowned.

“I’m going to ask her to take it down. I don’t even know why she recorded it. It was for _me_ , not those shitty pervs and assholes.” He clicked on her profile and started to message her. It ended up being strongly worded, but he didn’t care. It was her fault for doing whatever the fuck she was. He was curious why she’d tagged his best friend of all people, too. He was just glad he didn’t recognize any of the people in the comments, otherwise he would’ve become really vicious. He was trying his best not to become too angry, because he didn’t want Dave to feel like he was protecting him too much. It just wasn’t right what they were saying or that she had posted it, and he was the one who was following her.

“Thank you,” Dave said appreciatively. He was emotionally exhausted at that point and just wanted to cuddle again.

As soon as he sent the message, Karkat tossed his phone onto his nightstand and turned all of his attention to Dave. He caressed his face gently and sighed. “I hope it won’t always be so damn rocky dealing with everyone else.” Before Dave could open his mouth and say something in reply without thinking, Karkat leaned in and kissed him again, slow and sweet because he could tell Dave was tired. Afterwards, Dave wrapped his arms around him, and they lied there comfortably, foreheads together.

“What did Kankri say?” Karkat finally asked, peeking through a half-closed eye at Dave

“He…said he should see a therapist,” Dave muttered. He didn’t want to bring up the emotional moment because he still wasn’t sure how upset Karkat might get if he brought up his mom.

“Damn Dave, you made my dad need a therapist,” Karkat teased. Really, he was glad Kankri finally decided to go back to therapy. He’d left after only a couple weeks last time.

Dave snuggled up closer, tucking his face into Karkat’s neck. “I just have that effect on people I guess.”

Karkat hummed in response. He hadn’t planned on going to sleep early that night, but he was so comfy and warm that his eyes were already drooping. From Dave’s slowed breathing, he assumed he was also close to drifting off. As long as they were together, he was happy. Then, he fully fell asleep with an arm draped over Dave’s shoulder and Dave’s arms around his waist.


End file.
